IB or GF

Is this even a question?

deleted

.

Zhang will eat you alive in industry lil bro

Either you’re putting way too much time into it or she’s needy and overbearing

I was in a similar situation and I end up regretting favoring my gf for a while. Problem is if she has problem with your career now, she'll continue having problem later on, even if you decide to pursue a career that isn't as high-demanding like IB, Similarly it was her friends that made it worse because they were dating/finding guys that had low ambitions and just wanted to coast in life, so you're always gonna lose in "spending time" aspect of the relationship. I don't like telling people to end relationship but unless she changes or adjusts to the reality, its gonna be a hard time for you guys. 

.

Drop her

I am a firm believer that you can only have one or two good things happening in life. Either you are successful in your own career or in any relationship. There’s no in between or killing two birds with one stone. That’s why you see some unemployed basement dwellers getting hot girlfriends out of nowhere. L

Fuck your GF's friends. Never compromise over what your SO's friends want/think, their opinion matters less than some hobo's shit on an SF street. If she's giving you this ultimatum due to their advocacy, replace the bitch because she'll drop you in a second if things get tough and someone else who can give her time + makes significantly more comes along. She's not special and you'll easily replace her. Best of luck. 

Drop her.

I read this thread as IB or OF. 

Unfortunately, it's not about OF. 

Dump the GF

It’s more than likely her and her friends come from backgrounds that don’t look highly on banking. (All the finance bro memes definitely don’t help)

Im guessing you still like her. A way I normally sort out these problems is to dig deeper. How so?

1. Get her to explain her complaints. Is it truly because of not spending enough time with you? Or is it the fact that she feels like you don’t value her/the relationship stalled out/you let go of yourself etc. [It is highly important that you shut up and just listen in this phase]

2. Feed whatever she says back to her. In doing so, establish that you understand her viewpoint. And hopefully you actually do and aren’t just pretending because some dude on the internet told you to do so.

3. Explain that what you are doing is actually IN BENEFIT of the relationship or for your personal development. It is important to have a good think why IB is important for you - and explain these motivations to your girlfriend. Thank her for her support, and tell her that you are looking to create a future for the both of you/pursue your dreams.

Hope it goes well either ways. If not there’s always other girls willing to support the vision you have for your life.

You should choose the job. I got laid off as an analyst and while it wasn’t the entire reason, I know that I missed a couple calls and I was late submitting work multiple times because my very high maintenance gf at the time was calling me asking why I was working late at night. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be such a shit analyst just for pussy.

It’s a tough balance to strike. I think a highly secure woman who understands the expectations of IB would be worth staying with, but if her friends are already trying to split you guys up I wouldn’t bother sticking around. If you get married those hens will always be in her ear trying to get her to divorce you to be “all single again so we can have fun like we did in college”. Good luck bro. There’s always a younger woman, but you only get one chance to break into IB during undergrad.

you can get laid by telling girls you work at morgan stanley. you can’t get a morgan stanley offer by telling them you have a gf

If you guys don't support each other and each other's long term goals, then it's not going to work out long term. If you choose her, you may find yourself resenting her later if you think that she held you back from your potential. If she even gave you the ultimatum, it's time to break up. 

Going to be blunt here, but unless she is the absolute love of your life and you can't see yourself without her, pick the job over her. You are still in college, there are so many girls in this world and I can promise you, they won't make you sacrifice on your dreams and aspirations for her. Girls worth anything won't tear you down for having dreams and goals.

My ex chastised me for even entertaining a finance role in another city when I was 23 years old and said "people need to wake up and give up on their dreams at some point" (My "dream" was to develop into a portfolio manager). If a girl thinks that your goal of being successful and giving them a great life is neglectful, then let them go be with the communications major that thinks he's the hottest guy on campus because he drives a raptor. You'll get a girl that will support you through the ups and downs in your career and actually deserves you once you make it big time. Trust me, no girl worth spoiling will make you sacrifice your goals if it means a better life for both of you. If they give you an ultimatum, they're being shortsighted and selfish.

Taking the obvious bait , but this sounds like a typical ridiculous college relationship that you will likely look back on in a decade and laugh at ever being so concerned about preserving.

The value you place your career in your life is ultimately for you to decide. If they are average non-target blokes then there will always be a permenant disconnect here. There is a good chance it's not just a disagreement about work but about values in general. Not saying one is intrinsically superior to the other, but I'm guessing your GF wouldn't also be as keen as moving to a place like NYC, or isn't as focused on career as much herself. If you are in college you still have a lot of personal development and growth to experience, and you wont realize it until going through your 20s. You might find out you actually hate finance and working long hours, but you owe it to yourself to go after what you believe are your dreams ESPECIALLY this young and with no other obligations tying you down. 

Not going to ever judge someone for seeing the life of someone in certain careers and wanting to check out, but dont feel you morally owe anything to her in this situation. Many women would love to be a supporter/cheerleader for someone ambitiously chasing their dreams. You need to ask yourself if you think this is a good fit. Though relationship success is about compromise, the right person in your life wont require you to make massive concessions. When you get older and realize there is more wanting to date the opposite sex than how hot she is, you can focus on compatibility over important areas of life. Career and money is a major one of those. I've seen many friends get married young and try to fit a square peg into a round hole with this kind of stuff, doesn't work.

IB.  The time lost w/ your gf over recruiting probably isn't that significant and she's giving you an ultimatum to walk away from a career you're interested in because she's been forced to make a pretty small sacrifice.  Plenty of scenarios where it makes sense to pick relationship over career, but if you do walk away from IB / pursuing IB for this girl, it's not gonna be the last ultimatum she gives you.  

.