Is SF really the goldmine for single women that my friends are making it out to be?
Caught up with some friends from my undergrad cohort, it was a girl’s dinner. We all live in NYC except for one girl who was visiting from SF. Some of us were freaking out because we’re approaching our late twenties and still haven’t found a man yet. One girl was saying she has some friends who are older than her, in their 30s and still unmarried even though they were all solid New York 8-9s, and it made the rest of the table panic.
The one girl who isn’t single and is with a pretty cute and successful guy (early employee at a company where the stock has been on a run past couple of years) told us we all need to go look for men in San Francisco because it’s full of single successful men dying for find a woman since there’s no supply of women there that are above a 5/10. She told us we would all do well there, but I’m skeptical as to whether it’s actually as good as a gold mine as she claims it is because I’ve never stepped foot in that city.
For the people here that actually live in SF, would you say there’s a decent supply of attractive wealthy men there, or are they all unattractive geeks? I don’t mind guys that are a little on the spectrum but they need to be tall and in good shape. A lot of the girls at my dinner yesterday would have qualified as models, half are over 5’9” and a size 2 still, but there’s just too much competition in nyc bc so many girls look like models here and there’s much fewer men.
Based on the most helpful WSO content, the dating scene in San Francisco is a mixed bag, and your friend's claim about it being a "goldmine" for single women might be a bit exaggerated. Here's the breakdown:
Male-to-Female Ratio:
SF does have a skewed dating ratio due to the tech industry, which attracts a large number of men. This creates a situation where women, even those who might not be considered "top-tier" in other cities, receive a lot of attention. However, this also means that many of the men are described as "liberal nerds" or "on the spectrum," which might not align with everyone's preferences.
Quality of Men:
There is a significant population of successful, wealthy men in SF, especially in tech. However, the general sentiment from WSO threads suggests that many of these men might not meet traditional standards of attractiveness or social charisma. If you're looking for tall, fit, and socially adept men, the pool might be smaller than expected.
Dating Challenges:
While the supply of men is higher, the dating scene in SF is often described as tricky. Women who are considered "4s or 5s" in other cities might act with a sense of prestige due to the attention they receive, which can create a frustrating dynamic for newcomers. Additionally, nightlife and social opportunities in SF are not as vibrant as NYC, which can make meeting people more challenging.
Advice for Women Moving to SF:
If you and your friends are considering SF, it might be worth exploring neighborhoods like Marina, Cow Hollow, or Russian Hill, which are often mentioned as better spots for socializing and dating. However, keep in mind that the city has its downsides, including high cost of living, property crime, and a less polished urban environment compared to NYC.
In summary, while SF might offer a better male-to-female ratio, the quality and compatibility of the dating pool depend on your preferences. If you're open to dating men who are successful but might not fit the "tall, fit, and socially adept" mold, it could be worth exploring. However, don't expect it to be a guaranteed goldmine.
Sources: Why does SF suck so much I think I’m getting depression from the city, NEW YORK is OVERRATED, Going to bschool to find a husband?, Worth It: Moving from NYC to SF/LA?
I think any posh + white region will have what you're looking for AKA tall attractive rich guys, think like Dallas/Boston
So I actually come from one of the regions you listed, and in that city, the white men there preferred white girls from their circle over women of other ethnicities like latinas, Asians, mixed. I was told the men in SF and California prefer Asian and mixed ethnicities more. I also don’t need someone that comes from generational wealth, a nerdy pushover guy who just recently became wealthy from equity or a company sale works for me too.
I also just read what your username is and it’s hilarious lol
Yea, not surprised you’re single.
Single trans* women
None of your friends are close to a “New York 8-9” that’s an early 20s professional model whose literal full time job is to look perfect
That’s simply not true for the modeling industry in New York, Paris, etc at all. You’re thinking of the commercial modeling scene in places like LA. One of the top performing models is a transgender right now who just acts funny on tiktok and won model of the year. Nobody even remotely familiar with the fashion scene in New York would consider a New York model to be the standard for an 8 or 9. A girl working in sales or IR would look more conventionally attractive than 80% of the main board for The Society or IMG, two of the most successful modeling agencies in NYC.
“My FrIeNdS aRe NeW YoRk 8-9s” - the friends
stay over in ny, we’re tired of people from the east bitching about ca politics & lifestyle then move here just to complain more
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