Living our best life

What can we all do to live our best lives?  Seriously what would you do to make yourself happy? 

Been thinking about this a lot lately. A couple months ago I turned down a nice safe job offer for the CIO job at a mid-sized family office, and instead joined a startup for no pay but with equity and success fees. I'm gambling my career and time. I don't think there's a clear onramp back to PE from the startup, for one.  And re the family office, while it's a nice title and pay, I just couldn't get excited about asset allocation and trying to beat CPI+3%. I'd rather gamble for the cash and prizes and work with engineers who are trying to change the world. 

Then a couple hours ago the wifey called me crying because she may lose her job and that she feels like she doesn't fit in anwhere. I tried to comfort her and told her not to worry. Instead I think she should really think about what makes her happy - and where geographically she might be most content. I said she probably should be in small-time real estate and just invest on our own behalf.  Real estate is her favorite hobby, and she likes buying apartments (no interest in purses/shoes). Expensive hobby but she's good at.  

There's wisdom in these words: 

"F- the corporate worldbitch .."
- Afroman, Because I Got High

20 Comments
 
earthwalker7

"F- the corporate worldbitch .."
- Afroman, Because I Got High

I know this song pretty well and those aren't the lyrics. Nice try though - haha.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I am happy when I excel in 4 things:

- work

- working out 

- taking care of family

- spiritual devotion 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
trying_my_best

what are some of your other favorite verses?

Isaiah 53:5 - Bible verse - DailyVerses.net

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Most Helpful

Two things that made all the difference for me.

- Treat work like what it is, a job. It's something you have to do to pay the bills and that's it. Have walled off work from the rest of my life to the extent possible and couldn't be happier. Good days, bad days, successes, failures, getting yelled at and all the emotional shit that comes with work get compartmentalized once I leave the office. With that attitude, it doesn't really matter what I do for work, because along with the point below, I'm just happy. I like what I do, but it's not my passion or higher purpose

- As much as possible, make time for the personals. Family, friends, hobbies, passions, you name it. Sure we don't have the same kind of time lower pressure careers do, but any little thing helps. Even if its small things like sneaking out for an hour Thursday to grab a drink with the boys. 

 

You'll never live your best life if you don't find contentment in your current circumstances (what constitutes the 'best life' is subjective). Each time you raise your standards and expectations about how your life should be, you intentionally put yourself in a state of discontent that will disappear once you achieve your expectations. The key is to find the balance that would allow you to experience contentment.

“The wealth required by nature is limited and is easy to procure; but the wealth required by vain ideals extends to infinity.” — Epicurus, Principal Doctrines

 

The single most important step to being happy is realizing that your job or career should not be a source of identity, contentment, or fulfillment for any reasonable person.  Anyone whose main interest is "finance" is never going to be happy.  Anyone who thinks their job should change the world, or have some deeper meaning, is never going to be happy.  If you can find those things in your job, great!  But sometimes a job is just that - a means to allowing yourself to pursue other interests.  Have a hobby or an outside passion.

If someone's main interest is in finance, or investing, or banking, or whatever nonsense people say in interviews these days, they haven't thought about it enough.

 

Resonate with this bigtime. The second I stopped placing my self-worth in my career and started focusing on what made me happy now rather than "when x happens, then I'll be happy" is when I started to really build what I'd consider a fulfilled life.

This didn't happen until my late 20s. 

 

I worried far too much about appearances and the 'unwritten rules' of our industry a few years back (e.g., curtailing my interests / hobbies around coworkers to fit in). I love art / design but decided that it would be easier to have a successful career in finance (and enjoy the arts as a benefactor) than to be a starving artist. The sad part is, I set aside most of those interests once I got into this world for fear of being the odd one out. I've since decided that I work too hard to worry about those things.

Maybe not the answer that anyone here is looking for, but I've started a tattoo sleeve that I couldn't be happier about. Next session is coming up in three weeks. Not to sound dramatic, but it feels fantastic allowing myself to be... myself.

Funnily enough, although it's easy to hide under my shirt, I'm not anxious about any of my coworkers seeing it in the future. If they care enough to ask, I'll explain that I love this style of art and its history. I'm not sure what I was so afraid of. So long as you consistently produce high quality work, nobody has any right to knock who you are in your personal life. If they do, you may in the wrong place.

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