Moving to NYC mainly for Dating Oppurtunies

Hello,I am currently an incoming Analyst at a BB, but in a T2 market in the southeast and thinking about lateraling to NYC for better exit opps, comp scaling, and access to higher value women.For reference, I am good looking, 6’2”, and 200lbs lean. I also attended a Semi-Target school.

I am East Asian, and I have noticed that girls in the south tend to prefer SEC frat boys that make 50k/year doing sales. I have had no issues with girls throughout college, but the girls at my Southeastern semi target tend to come from more educated NE families, and are more open to Asian men. I am a little worried that postgrad dating will be a different story for me if I stay in the SE, where most girls are SEC grads.

My goal is to marry 1 of 3 types of women:

1. Marketing/Model/Fitness Girl that is more attractive than me, but makes less money

2. Finance/Consulting/Law/Doctor/Influencer/Politician girl that makes the same amount of money as me and equally as attractive as me

3. UHNW daddy’s money/successful entrepreneur girl that has more money than me but is less attractive than me

I would consider myself an 8/10 face card, and my physique is pretty much flawless, so there really aren’t many girls that would meet my criteria.

Also, is option 3 even possible given I come from a middle to upper middle class family (~500k yearly pre-tax, ~2m Net Worth)? I am thinking that I could be attractive enough to be a trophy husband, but I might have to looksmax to a 9/10 face card and prestigemax by getting an HSW MBA and be on MF Partner track in order to fully qualify.

Recruiting into a Buyside associate seat, or lateraling to other analyst roles in SE markets should be relatively easy compared to recruiting for NYC jobs. Analysts on my team commonly exit to UMM/MFs (non-buyout direct investing roles) in the SE, but it is rare to see such prestigious exits among the Analysts that choose to move to NYC. I am wondering if the dating/going out scene, exit opps, and network in NYC is worth the tradeoff in lifestyle, comp, prestige, and expenses?

19 Comments
 

I think the attempt to optimize dating and marriage like this is a big mistake men our age are prone to making. You are focusing only on the quantifiable values of relationships. What about your personality? Are you friendly and amicable, let alone funny? Do you have hobbies or personal interests? Do you listen to those around you? You mention nothing about how you socialize or live your life, only how you look and the money you make or are looking to wed. Have you ever asked yourself why these SEC frat boys appear to be more popular with the women in your city?
Another thing, women generally don't like men who talk about looksmaxxing or strictly aesthetic choices. It makes one appear shallow even if that isn't the case. Would you like it if a woman you were talking to were only able to elaborate ad nauseam on her appearance, the appearance of others, etc? You might just find it a bit boring if you're only counting attractiveness and money.

If you are an incoming AN1 you should probably prioritize your sleep and health over dating. You won't have the time a committed relationship demands, unless the WLB at your firm is excellent. No one wants to be dating someone who is unavailable for 80-100 hours of the week, and asleep for the rest.


Also, what "lifestyle" tradeoff in NY? Sure, you might have less money after taxes and life expenses, and the weather can get shitty, but QoL in this city is a significant improvement to a lot of cities in the SE, especially transportation, cultural and dining optionality, the aforementioned network, blah blah blah. Of course, that's an opinion, but you shouldn't have any problem exiting to UMM/MF if you're in NY.

 

I wouldn't go that far. Still a great city if you're single. I will say though after speaking to a few folks who moved to NYC recently, people have to settle for less than ideal neighborhoods but that doesn't limit their dating pool if they put themselves out there and are social themselves.

Is the city as lively as it once was? Definitely not. Huge difference vs. what I remember NYC was like in my 20s in the 2010s. I do agree that the economy / inflation has made the city less 24/7 than it once was. But that being said, I know quite a few folks who moved to NYC for dating / career and almost always, they were able to succeed in at least one of those.

 

NewIndustryHorizon

I wouldn't go that far. Still a great city if you're single. I will say though after speaking to a few folks who moved to NYC recently, people have to settle for less than ideal neighborhoods but that doesn't limit their dating pool if they put themselves out there and are social themselves.

Is the city as lively as it once was? Definitely not. Huge difference vs. what I remember NYC was like in my 20s in the 2010s. I do agree that the economy / inflation has made the city less 24/7 than it once was. But that being said, I know quite a few folks who moved to NYC for dating / career and almost always, they were able to succeed in at least one of those.

if you think paying $5-6k for a 1br with no closet space for “dating opportunities” makes sense then be my guest

he won’t have disposable income to take advantage of said opportunities in the first place. he’ll end up in JC/Hoboken (or god forbid Bushwich) chasing something he could get in most other cities these days. move to nyc as a first job out of school with roommates or for your career/family/friends or i guess - if you hate your life somewhere else and want to try it out (even then, that’s a pretty bad reason to move to NY) 

a lot of normal, hot, well adjusted people are opting out of nyc due to costs. so you’re left with “extreme” end of people who end up there (this is a newer phenomenon in the last 2-3yrs) 

but this idea that dating is better in NYC than other large cities in CA/TX/FL is dated. if marriage was my priority. Zero chance i’d choose NYC as my 1st choice with no network of people  on day 1

 

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