Native New Yorker here who moved to far away to a different city (not LA/SF/CHI/Boston) for a job and have been here for 3 years now. Career has been great, but personal life is quite the opposite.
It's been a real struggle to accommodate to life here due to the following reasons:
- The climate is much hotter and there isn't nature at all. (ironically if it was Denver or Portland I think as I would adjust better due to the availability of the outdoors). aka New York or Nowhere mentality
- People are way more secluded where there isn't a ton of vibrant young folks, but mostly families who only engage other families. Hence lack of community/social life (the bars/clubs/ourdoors all suck in this town)
- My parents and friends are all back in NYC. Parents are getting older which has been weighing on my mind a ton. Friends are supportive, but due to distance, can't really participate in get togethers.
- Food isn't great and surprisingly, almost the same as NYC prices whenever I go back home. Given how much food costs these days, it's a quite bitter pill to swallow as I'm just so disappointed everytime I eat out (compared to what i had in NYC).
- The energy just isn't there. not to mention this city is not walkable at al
I'll admit, in my mind, I'm just doing time here to grow and then head home in 2-3 years. However, this has made dating much more challenging.
- Mostly single mothers here or folks who have grown up here and are not willing to leave.
- Lack of exposure to multiple cultures/lacking a global perspective. This is a big one. I can't imagine having kids in a town without a global perspective or lack of exposure to similar minded people.
I've ended a relationship over the fact that a girl would not move out of this town and she didn't really have the NYC mentality or ambition.
wondering what advice folks have here.
I’m not a New Yorker, but you’re not going to find at least half of your list in many places in America. You know what makes you happy. Move back.
Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are some insights and advice for navigating life and dating after moving away from NYC:
1. Adjusting to a New City
2. Building a Social Life
3. Dating Challenges
4. Cultural and Lifestyle Adjustments
5. Long-Term Perspective
Ultimately, while the transition may be challenging, focusing on personal growth, building meaningful connections, and staying true to your long-term goals can help you make the most of your time away from NYC.
Sources: Moving to a new city by yourself? Can anyone share experiences?, I F***ING HATE NEW YORK, NYC worth it?, Question for Those Who Moved Cities
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