New York Stereotype - Why?
I work on the west coast and dealings with people are generally amicable out here. However, occasionally I have to deal with the New York stereotype guys and it is terrible.
There is always a lot of ego over power or money or possessions. The interactions tend to be aggressive and a lot is based is who is getting one over on the other guy.
It just makes interacting with them unpalatable. Certain debt shops in New York I won’t talk to because every interaction with them is terrible. I find that the stereotype makes deals fail more often then not. Assuming this is the case, why is it continued?
There are a lot of New Yorkers that are not the stereotype and are all around good people. New York is a cool place and there are a lot of great things about it. The rest of the country is pretty great too.
Ever been to NYC? They are probably stressed about making rent. The culture there is terrible--it's why people are leaving to shit up the south with their assholery.
Because people in NYC take themselves too seriously. It's always a dick measuring contest and honestly half the people here having nothing going for them outside of the office and therefor have to compensate for their miserable lives and be a hardo in a work environment.
Coming from someone who works in NYC, I have heavily considered a geographical switch partly for this reason.
It is even cringier when a fellow mid-to-late 20 something year old develops said attitude/approach in order fit the NYC mold & stereotype. Like come on dude. Wish it was acceptable to laugh in these people's faces.
However similar to what you said, there are fortunately enough normal and down to earth people here that give me some hope.
First, keep in mind New York real estate is a bloodsport (and the combatants revel in that). Second, always remember: weakness is provocative. So, if you trust someone not screw you, you're provoking the inevitable screwing you receive. Third, understand that this combat theatre is a respect ritual. To earn someone's respect, you must show strength, which is to say, you exploit the weakness of others, and you certainly don't show weakness to others.
I don't personally agree with the mentality (and it is very exhausting to go through work/life not trusting anyone), but it's based on first-hand experience in the market.
This is a highly accurate description.
People can take it that way and ruin their lives or they can be amicable and trust worthy and have great lives.
In game theory, you are better off, playing a fair game than by taking every transaction as if it is your last.
I won’t do business with certain groups because I know that working with them will make my life worse because they were dicks in previous transactions. Did they get some ego out of the transactions because they were dicks, yes. Did they make more money because they were dicks, no. Did they preclude themselves from ever doing business with me again, yes.
I know lots of brokers that won’t work with certain buyers again because they know it is going to be terrible.
When the New York Stereotypes come out to the west, they get a terrible reputation and they alienate themselves. Their ego is high but they don’t realize they are losing money because they are only getting the bottom of the barrel deals. The good deals go to people that are good to work with.
That may not apply in New York but it does apply everywhere else. Also, it just sucks to have a life with that much contention.
You think New Yorkers are selfish because of high rent?? I'm sorry but that's absolutely just one slice of the pie. I grew up in the city, and that's just the culture. Everyone is hustling to make it for themselves because its so hyper competitive that its just become the culture there. Even the finance trophy wives are the same way, everyone is constantly just trying to look the best, have the best house, get their kids to the best schools, get an 8:30 res at Dorsia on a Friday night etc.
The cheat code is just not transacting with assholes. I truly will never understand why people and institutions do business with known pieces of shit.
The reaction you get could be related to your private equity part of NY or they sense you are not one of them and so you get treated differently. Most people tend to have a closer bond with people with whom they have things in common. I lived in NY for a long time and the vast majority of people in my work and personal networks are from NY and New Jersey. None of these people work in private equity and they are just very comfortable with people who are from NY or have NY connections.
The first question you're asked when you meet someone new in NYC is "what do you do for work / where do you work?" I always find that very illustrative.
10000%. It's a complete turnoff for me in terms of wanting to get to know that person
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