Seeking advice
I have recently noticed I hate my friends. I’m in highschool and the majority of my friends I have simply have turned into different people and are no longer people who I’d like to associate with. In the least pretentious way, my friends simply aren’t on the same level of intelligence/aspiration as I am. I often find my self unhappy hanging out with them as they always talk about topics I find irrelevant (gossip/sports betting/other bullshit). The conversations I have with them lack intellectual stimulation, and I often find my self reading WSO forums while hanging out with them. We go for drinks and talk to girls, but when there isn’t a task at hand and I’m just conversing with these people for who they genuinely are I hate it. Mentors and tutors have advised me that in college my problem will be resolved, that I’ll meet a lot of people who are of similar intellect, aspirations, and career goals but I don’t want to push through another year of social misery. I have social skills that allow me to flourish in most social settings, however I often find my self hating interaction unless there is any visible personal gain. Am I a terrible person? Is this normal?
del
It’s not
del
hating interaction if there's no personal gain, I think you have the wrong definition of personal gain. sometimes an interaction is good in and of itself, purely because you're increasing connection with someone or having some leisure time. look at it more through this lens, and you'll be ight
it does get better though man, I hated high school (yet I look back on it with nostalgia) and had very few close friends despite playing sports being in a band and having hobbies that would normally have gotten me more friends, and only keep up with 2 of them to this day. just don't look at every conversation as an opp to personally gain, look at it like this: maybe this person will become my new best friend. and you'll never know until you approach interactions with an open mind
Thanks for your input. I think this is the right mindset to have and I’m going to try to change the way I think about friendships. It’s just that highschool is such a small pool of people, meaning it gets easy to “get ahead” of your friends. My father suggested I email Econ club president at a prestigious university 10 mins away from me to see if I can do a shadowing there. Do you think this is a good idea?
I'm not going to answer your question. instead I'll give you a framework for this and any future questions, the answer will be obvious.
when approaching any decision, think about downside first. the upside usually takes care of itself with enough perseverance and diligence.
what is the downside of this decision? if the downside is your email gets ignored, that's not bad at all. if the downside is you could forever burn a bridge by taking a meeting from your mentor's competitor, this trade could overleverage your firm and wipe you out, or taking this girl home will wreck your bourgeoning relationship with a girl you could spend the rest of your days with, then think twice.
finally, stop thinking in terms of "getting ahead," that's toxic thinking. measure yourself not against your peers, but against the person you once were. life is not a race, and chasing empty values such as prestige will lead you to a full bank account but an empty heart & soul
You should tell your friends that you, genuinely, think they are unsophisticated plebeians that are beneath you. Their unknown problem of hanging out with a malignant narcissist in the making should then be solved.
Also, what bars are high schoolers regularly “going for drinks”?
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