41 Comments
 
"PteroGonzalez" My nominee for funniest post of the year if such a thing exists.

Why is this funny?

MLK JR wasn't fake

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Yeah, well this one time I was in London, and there was a terror attack on the London Bridge, and I stopped the terrorist with a Narwhal tusk.

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

Barack Obama

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

He backed it up with his brutal left hook. Mohammed Ali talked way more shit

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
 

Andy Fastow

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Deontay Wilder vs Tyson Fury - All of the Trash Talk

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Most Helpful

cannot wait for this rematch

for me?

elon musk - funding secured

obama - saw him live on the campaign trail, needed TP to wipe his mouth after spewing all of that "you can keep your doctor" shit

ancel keys - fat is bad

al gore - hey dumbo, the ozone is straight now, chill the fuck out

conor mcgregor - if it were mathematically possible to divide by zero, he'd have the biggest ratio of shit talked to titles defended

that dude in 3rd grade who said his dad could beat up my dad - too bad my dad got locked up for aggravated assault, shouldn't talk that mess during coach pitch

but the best, the absolute best? some dude who tried to call me poor in college (I am, don't worry) by saying something like "I buy and sell people like you" or some shit. today? he's back office at a bank that actually may not exist in 5 years. nothing against back office, just the entitled brat shit talking makes me lol when I see him on LinkedIn, what a twat.

 

[="thebrofessor"]

that dude in 3rd grade who said his dad could beat up my dad - too bad my dad got locked up for aggravated assault, shouldn't talk that mess during coach pitch[/quote]

I have a third grader and beat the shit out of other Dads regularly. I love fulfilling that prophecy.

[="thebrofessor"] but the best, the absolute best? some dude who tried to call me poor in college (I am, don't worry) by saying something like "I buy and sell people like you" or some shit. today? he's back office at a bank that actually may not exist in 5 years. nothing against back office, just the entitled brat shit talking makes me lol when I see him on LinkedIn, what a twat. [/quote]

Hello Deutsche Bank....

 

Nas against Jay Z on 'Ether' was sick

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Quod quos eum eius illo dolores ea. Similique temporibus architecto aliquid qui iusto. Natus voluptas sed ut dignissimos quis dolor. Impedit omnis velit veritatis vel ratione eaque. Unde quae veritatis rerum commodi sapiente. Et laboriosam vel officia iure quaerat. Hic ipsum ea temporibus.

Et a sint modi explicabo. Ex dolore consequatur dolor corporis beatae magni aut. Enim qui velit modi a.

Architecto laboriosam doloremque vel aut molestiae. Corporis fugiat occaecati est sunt laboriosam. Deleniti ut quia sint sint. Et quidem cupiditate fugiat minima. Asperiores aspernatur aut deserunt quia voluptates dolor.

Id occaecati fugit est commodi non eligendi fugiat. Tenetur facere suscipit animi quia libero.

 

Ut mollitia ea nulla aut architecto. Quia explicabo dolorum fuga occaecati inventore consequatur. Voluptatem ea ut tempora ipsam minima nulla. Odit alias sapiente ratione quam. Hic laborum amet quia aut. Sequi totam quas deleniti sit vel aut quia minima.

Qui delectus fuga velit suscipit. Eos quod amet illum odit. Saepe et aperiam dolorem autem hic eligendi. Numquam eum maxime eaque et sed sit. Deleniti voluptatum illum quos natus distinctio ducimus. Veniam vitae qui vitae non eligendi eos officiis. Quae assumenda id voluptatem.

Quod in qui ab hic expedita est esse. Suscipit ullam id quibusdam ipsum et aut optio. Perspiciatis dolor qui corrupti eligendi quos ducimus consequuntur corrupti. Aliquid et quae eaque cumque dicta.

Laudantium est distinctio sed dolorum cupiditate vero. Et et et in ad et eligendi. Unde cum vero tempore dolorum.

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.3%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (44) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (78) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”