Unable to reconnect with family (or fit in)

It is not unusual to want to be with your friends when you are young.  With that said, there has to be something in common with these people that you could talk about.  Do you like sports?  Guys who work in blue collar jobs usually like sports.  Have a conversation about your local sports teams.  

I hear your situation. I hope it gets better for you soon. Not sure what exactly to advise you, but sounds like there is hope based on what you wrote. Hopefully soon things improve meaningfully. Good luck and best wishes

It's hard to see people posting on social media about how cool and close their parents are, but ultimately I think every family has problems or issues and it is always hard when you feel very different from them.

That said, like many people who have just landed an awesome new job you sound like the only things that are important to you are traits close to work. I assume you're not home for that long... try and spend time with them even if you feel like you can't connect. Take them to do active things or even just to the movies, anything where you aren't just sitting around with few things to talk about. Heck, go pick up a board game. Find a dressed-up version of one of their favorite recipes and make it with them. In short, find ways to spend time with them that are not just sitting around talking... there is common ground somewhere.

Once you are working you will miss time with your family even if they feel like a burden right now.

Could it be aging ? I'm about to hit 30 and so is my gf and we don't like our parents much anymore either.

I think that as the bird reaches the age where it has to leave the nest there's this automatic I-want-my-own-space so we don't fight on daily basis things.

People get grumpy cynical toxic and mean as they age.

I am very interested in buying a house and being alone.

As you get older you’ll appreciate them more. And you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Trust me. 
 

focus on finding the things you have in common or just focus on being together. At the end of the day, that matters a lot more than small talk or BSing. 
 

you don’t have to see eye to eye on everything or even have to understand each other’s perspectives and life situations to value time together. 
 

I lost my parents young (in my 30s) and what I wouldn’t give to have more of the time you’re talking about back. 
 

And trust me, my relationship with my parents was never rosy, but it got a lot better when I checked my ego and I grew the F up (a few years before they passed) 

Very similar in terms of parents being blue collar, going into IB, not being able to relate to them from a career perspective, etc.  We live in completely different worlds, and they don't understand mine at all, but we're still close. As you're on the job longer, you'll probably get to a point where it's a relief to have ppl who don't understand what you do and thus can't talk about it...I used to want to talk about work all of the time and now it's nice to be w/ people where I know it's not going to come up.  As others have said, there has to be some common interests.  Sports, talking about shit from back in the day, letting them talk/bitch about their job even if it's not interesting, politics, etc.  I'm also a firm believer that unless they've seriously wronged you, you do have an obligation to your family, particularly your parents, so try and figure out how to have some sort of a relationship w/ them. 

I'd bet that your situation is not unique. there are a lot of people who don't have fun hanging out with their families. there are so many more fun things to do, especially nowadays with all the technology and various forms and sources of entertainment. however, they are your family who spent a lot of time, money, and energy raising you, so think of it as you paying them back by being a good son and bringing them joy by engaging in whatever activities they want. you always have a choice not to spend much time with family, but do it occasionally in whatever form it works best for you. I talk to my mom on the phone couple of times every week even though we don't have much to discuss.

also, it's normal to distance yourself from family shortly after you become an adult. but then you'll grow up more and realize more all that they did for you and will want to pay them back by treating them well, including listening to their gossip and conspiracy theories if that makes them happy to talk to you about.

P.S. your words about blowing big money on holidays are cringe and have nothing to do with the topic.

your parents raised children while working jobs.  thats tough business.

they provided an environment that allowed you to attend a target schol and crush it

what have you done outside landing a job?  have you taken care of a baby and reared it? paid a mortgage or rent knowing if you lost your job your child was on the streets?

you may be intellectually smarter and more curious than your parents, but they have seen some chit before and can help you out.  when you become a parent you will be DYING for your parents to be around to help with the kids before you go crazy (trust me)

If all you have done to be successful has culminated into not being able to experience joy with your family, I'd consider that a failure. I'm trying to improve on this as well - go play a game of Euchre or Monopoly, something everyone can enjoy!

Hey man I’m also from a similar background as you. It sucks I come home and just see no one is moving forwards just backwards

Wtf dude, you get a new job and now you're suddenly too good for them? This line of thinking will lead to deep, deep unhappiness LT in your relationships whether that's friends / family / SOs / etc. 

It is always harder to build than destroy. Takes years and even decades to build really strong relationships, though it only takes a few moments to sever those connections. Let me also fill you in from a non-American perspective, not everyone is obsessed w/ their jobs / titles as Americans are (as someone who's lived in both worlds). I'm not saying that's good or bad...just that this is the fact of the matter. You need to find new ways to bond w/ people beyond just work / ambition. Let me ask you, what do you think is going to happen when you're 70 and retire? You have no more work to really talk about, how will you maintain relationships?

Don't throw away relationships willy nilly, especially w/ your parents. you only get 1 mom and 1 dad in life who will love you to death and care for you in both good & bad times, even more so than a spouse / SO. Don't underestimate that, you will deeply miss them when they are gone.

My relationship w/ my parents was mediocre in high school & college (pressure of being an only child I suppose) and even bit after college until I realized what an idiot I was being. Lived at home during Covid for 1.5yrs and rekindled that bond, spent a lot of time w/ them and now I have no regrets. I call them probably every other day. I've similarly really rebuilt a lot of my relationships and strengthened existing ones w/ friends. Literally cannot imagine going back to how things were and I'd never want to. 

Not saying every relationship is as meaningful, you need to figure out the ones that are and treat them a plant...water them, give them fertilizer, treat them with care, and you'll end up cherishing most of them till the day you die. Which means call them up & chat, be there when things are shitty, etc. For me, aside from my parents I've got 3 best friends and then another dozen good friends who I prioritize. The rest of the people I hang out w/, I don't think I'd notice much if they disappeared from my life tomorrow. It is what it is. Figure this out early and prioritize. Start w/ rebuilding the relationship w/ your parents and go from there

I think the problem can be better rephrased as not being able to connect with people outside the finance bubble. We've all been there

I guarantee when your parents start getting health issues and getting old, you will treasure every moment together you have left with them. 

My story is similar to yours and I know the feeling well.

The answer is to book a trip for your family to travel somewhere together.  Doesn't have to be fancy at all.  Just anywhere that's not home.  Then the connection with them becomes easy because the attention shifts to exploring the new place, which puts everyone on the same page.

Did you ever talk to your coworkers about this?