unreal internship anxiety
So I'm doing a Summer Internship at a BB in London and I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety recently. It feels like for every one step forward I take, I go two steps back. I'm terrified of not saying enough on coffee chats, not being good enough etc...
I've already done one internship prior and back then I didn't have this level of anxiety, I just tried my hardest, worked hard, and did OK enough to land another internship.
But this year it's different and I just don't know why... Everyone always says that "expectation are on the floor", but I'm scared of being seen as incompetent if I do a calculation error, miss a number, miss inputting something, whatever. But also when talking to people and stuff I have pretty normal conversations, but idk it's not really like slam-dunk conversations. It's only been a week on the desk (after some training, so like 2/3 weeks into the internship actually) but it feels like so much longer because of this anxiety.
I don't know what to do? I feel like this sort of thing can easily just catch me and cause just a idk complete breakdown at some point down the internship... and it's already such early days. Like last year I thought things were going well, and obvs they did if I got to come back to intern elsewhere in the bank, but apparently there were shortcomings like i didnt speak enough/have much to say in catch ups or whatever but no one ever communicated that to me not even in my midreviews or final reviews or at the offer/no offer call...... so now I also feel slightly paranoid also about every single interaction, thing I say, do, perception, whatever - even though from what i hear my new team isn't as strict etc
i dont know what to do, i dont know who i should speak to. im so stressed and really anxious pls help
I prescribe you 5 sets of running up and down the stairwell in the office, that should calm your spastic ass down. Do some push-ups on the landing while you’re at it.
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There are some great posts about this on the forums elsewhere but I think to summarise a few things that I think might help and I always remind myself when feeling anxious or nervous about mistakes:
Perspective is key, you've landed an internship thousands of people kill for, and you didn't get there on accident (unless you did some naughty things with an MD after campus recruiting - I've seen it happen...). You're there to learn, network, absorb information and everything around you. It's totally fine if you make mistakes, even if you get slammed a bit that's part of the job and good way for you to get used to it so you can become impartial to it in the future. Mistakes happen, especially as an intern, but attitude is key. If you make a mistake, show enthusiasm and willingness to learn from it. Ask your team how to improve/stop it from happening in the future. People notice this.
You need to find a method or activity that relaxes you, if you go into something already stressed and anxious, that will only make it worse. This is a bit of a paradox sometimes but just find something that you can spend 30mins or so every day at some point which takes your mind off work and allows you to reset. Once you get the hang of this, it helps massively with providing some perspective and calms your nerves. If you go in feeling nervous then you are already telling your body and mind how to act during the project or whatever you are doing, it's a killer.
And don't put so much pressure on yourself, it sounds like you're expecting every conversation or project to either make a life-long impression or find the new ChatGPT. You're an intern, just be proactive and make engaging conversation. Even if after 5 minutes you realise this AN/AS is doing something that doesn't interest you in the slightest, keep going at it and asking questions to show interest, people always like that. Attitude is so key and you can choose how you can come across. They are human beings (mostly) too, remember that.
I hope this helps :)
In the last 10 years or so, only two interns didn’t get a return offer in my old group and one was because of an anxious breakdown. You’re not supposed to be perfect. Work on your shortcomings, but don’t let them end you. Right now, your biggest shortcoming is this anxiety. Take steps to resolve the anxiety itself instead of trying to fix it by working more because despite having the best intentions, you will likely make the situation worse.
Hey, I interned at a BB in the US last summer and also had this anxiety problem. Lack of sleep plus hardo associates make it a living hell. When I was done with the internship and got back into fitness, I realized I wasn't doing anything too important. The deals would have gone through with or without me (and all the other junior hardos on the team), and that's fine. Just take a step back and remember that the people around you or even the bank aren't as important as you think rn. It's the culture that makes it seem like it is. Go hit the gym, have fun, get that return offer, but don't sweat it more than you need to.
Assume that you're good enough and everything else is irrelevant as long as you deliver. You're an intern, so better do the mistakes now and learn from them than making them later on.
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