What to prioritise in your 20s?
Hi all,
I would like some advice on what to prioritise early on in my career. (Money/Learning/Family/Fun)
I am driven and ambitious, with some IB internship experience, but not sure if I should (rather than could) spend the amount of time working as you do in IB/PE. 9-5 roles don't really appeal to me because it seems most people just want to be comfortable in these roles within finance (not judging - just from observation in previous experiences) but I am always discouraged from seeking out roles in 'sweatshops'.
Any advice from people who have gone over the same process/thought process in the past and any lessons from experience?
Would appreciate any help.
It really depends on what you care about. If you prioritize money and flexing "prestige" on others, they stay in banking/PE forever and never have the time or energy to see friends and family consistently in life. If you want to spend the one time in your life where your body is in its best condition, then take the 9-5 in Corp Dev to make good money (not f*** you money, but well above the average American) and go enjoy your weekends and see friends after work. Some people are close with their families and don't want to move across the country to chase a career and others have nothing holding them down and will be consultants that travel every possible night of the week.
At some point you have to figure out what is important to you and what you want out of life to start figuring out what career path you want. No one on an anonymous site (most of which are probably your age) will be able to give you the cheat code to life that if you follow what we say and follow the step-by-step instructions you'll have a perfect life.
I'll give you my career path and rationale though for you to judge on. Right out of college I was working sell-side commercial real estate because I was late to the party on finance and didn't have an IB internship or anything like that. I stayed there for about a year and had a client who was a REPE steal me away in the same city I was living in at the time. I took it because I wanted to be an investor and make a lot more money. It was about 2 years in and I hated the hours and seeing traditional PE counterparts make more money with the same hours so I lateraled to a MM PE firm because if I was going to do the hours I wanted the money from it. I then met my S/O and we tried to make it work with our ridiculous schedules but it wasn't working out so to slow down my work life I moved into Corp Dev at a F300 company doing M&A after a few more years in PE. I will say I miss the grind and more interesting deal flow in PE, but I love leaving the office at 4:30 - 4:45pm everyday and rarely ever working after or on the weekends to spend the time with my family. To me, the money wasn't worth the deterioration of personal relationships, fitness (went from in-shape college athlete to rarely working out because of always being glued to a desk), and mental health.
Love this answer.
I'm in a similar RE situation right now, how did you go about making that literal over to traditional PE? Not saying I would want that necessarily, but just pissed off I make less and work a lot of the same hours. I graduated with a finance degree and am in my mid-20s - what age were you when you made the transition?
I was in my mid-to-late 20's when I made the transition over. I made the switch leveraging my knowledge of the M&A process (largely similar with the overall process) and knowledge of LBO's since all real estate for the most part is an LBO. The only difference between the 2 verticals is the operating model of the asset. In both cases you need to model out what the business would operate like under new management, how to capitalize on the deal, how the capital stack flows affects the FCF based on debt instruments and types of equity raised, and then the return structure of a waterfall is pretty uniform across the industry. Once you view it in that light and paint that picture to recruiters, they are much more receptive to helping you make that switch.
You specifically called out Money/Learning/Family/Fun, so I am assuming those are most important to you.
Money - Focus on, but do not obsess over. Try and max your retirement accounts every year, and keep some cash savings. Also try and grow your income every year. The money will come, even if it takes a couple of years. Do not be afraid to spend on things you enjoy, but do not overspend.
Learning - Should be a daily thing. I have two books that I read 2 pages out of each day and depending on size, finish 3-10 per year.
Family - High priority here. Your parents aren't getting any younger, take their calls and grab dinner with them when asked, they are worth more than money. For your future family, don't worry about being in a relationship before 25, 25-30 is when the good majority of people settle down. That being said, make time for your gf/finance/wife and kids, they are more valuable than money.
Fun - Prioritize the above 3, but you should be able to have fun in work, learning and family. Outside of those, I always try to plan out events/trips in the future to look forward to.
What I am prioritizing in my 20s is Learning>Money>Family&Friends>Fun
1. I feel like I need to learn (and work) a lot to be able to have doable open possibilities in the future when I either want to move to something else, start my own thing or look for something less stressful. The more you can do to a high standard in the future, the more will people pay you to do so
2. Want to have a comfortable cushion of cash and investments, but I also don't mind dropping money in experiences (not overpriced stuff when going out in this expensive city) - not a FIRE nerd. I will also personally have a disabled family member as a financial dependent in the future, once my parents unfortunately pass away, it has to be me who takes care of them as my family does not have money and the only other option (sibling) has drug problems.
3. Life is all about people and meaningful relationships. Just marginally behind 2
4. I also want to have fun but the above already takes a lot of time and tbh I am a simple guy who can be happy with little
Learning>Family&Friends>Fun>Money
Of course you never stop learning that's first. Build as most as network as I see many benefit from the rappo and circles they develop much earlier in their life. Still possible later but it will seem too fake or needy. It's hard to build trust/potential investment when you know someone only for 3 years than your 15 year old colleague who always stay in contact. Then Fun, I regret putting money before fun now. The fun don't feel the same much later in life. Develop ideas, study case study of how many was generated instead of gambling on luck. And if anyone is wondering, women comes last and casually. I have been in adult dating sites like sugarbook, good quality women are everywhere. And if sex is what you are looking for in marriage then just skip it. I think i don't need a companion in the long term, sugarbook sugar relationship is good enough.
Money/fun: If you have a good game and look good, take 9-5 job and go out and bang chicks. If you don't look good and don't have game and don't wanna learn it, then stick to IB/PE - you may win someone over by splashing lots of money on them.
Family: what are you planning to do with them? Just answer your mom's calls. That shouldn't impact your career decisions.
Learning: you learned in school. Work in finance is pretty dumb. You don't need to know much and you won't even use 90%+ of what you learned in school. Just stick to your job and earn experience.
Lol, did exactly this. Relatively undemanding but prestigious 9-5 job and banging 2-3 new chicks a week for several years. Good times, good times.
what was your favorite part about that?
Best piece of advice tbh. And the family part is most accurate. All my siblings have their own commitments and we talk on occasions. That does not require much efforts most case. Boy I wish I at least got the game. Would have wasted life savings worth of money in escorting especially sugarbook
Can't believe this hasn't been said yet, but I found that your 20s should be spent figuring out what you want to prioritize long-term. I tried everything in my 20s, beginning with working 80 hours a week, to then cutting back on work and integrating working out, to taking dating a bit more seriously and trying to develop a serious relationship, to cutting down on my quantity of friends but improving the quality of those relationships. As I near the end of my 20s, I have found that I now prioritize a balance of all of the above. In other words, I focus on:
1. Work a job that I find to be meaningful and at times, exhausting, but overall gives me a good enough WLB to focus on the rest.
2. Investing in my relationship with my SO. At this stage I plan to get married to her, so investing time and energy into the relationship is critical.
3. Allocating ~15% of my time toward my hobbies and interests. For me, this is powerlifting, racing cars, and snowboarding / wakeboarding. To each their own here, as long as you're investing in the things that make you happy.
4. Spending quality time with my friends and family. Aside from my SO, my greatest source of happiness comes from these folks, and I do what I can to spend as much time with them as possible.
Look, in your 20s you won't get the formula right on your first try. Oftentimes, youll feel as though you're royally blowing it. I know I spent my early 20s constantly worrying that I was working too much, then not enough. Just keep trying and reflecting on what you think matters most to you
As someone once said to me...20s are for learnings...30s are for earning
This answer is an incredibly personal one, and you wont find a solution that fits all. The fact that you are asking yourself this is better than most. Many lack the bravery and self awareness needed for such introspection, even further most lack the willpower to act on it. You should radically change your understanding of yourself from college to your mid-late 20s. Two things that helped me get there:
1. People dont care. Do things for yourself. Now expectations of others. You are working that banking job because you think it's prestigious? It really isnt. You are pursuing a career path to make your family proud? They would rather you not be miserable. You think you have to have a large income to settle down, find a wife, etc.? You really dont. You are putting yourself in your own box. If you choose a certain career do it because it's what YOU want and it provides you the opportunity to learn, grow, and do meaningful work. No one really cares about your position or name of your firm outside of when you are 22 and still trying to flex. If you value yourself just based on your job then that is how other people will value you.
2. You can accomplish anything you want in life. But you cant accomplish everything. 'You can have it all' is one of the biggest myths pushed to our generation. You cant and shouldnt. If you chase your career in a large city then it means seeing family less. If you settle down and have kids young then it means less late bar nights and hookups. If you want to be the dad that goes to every soccer game then your career may suffer. Only when we think we are entitled to everything do we get let down and disappointed. But once you realize that anything (seriously anything) you want to achieve you can do. Want to climb everest before 30? Want to open up a donut shop? Want to be married and own a home with a wife and 3 kids? Want to make partner at your firm before 35? You can do any of those things. You likely cant do all of them. Dont limit yourself, ask yourself what you really value and want in life, and then prioritize accordingly. Then when you have to make decisions you are aware of the tradeoffs AND willing to accept them
Good luck young buck
This is the best answer in the thread.
As Scott Galloway said...you can have it all...just not all at once.
I say it important to be thoughtful and patient
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