I'm at a small MM Bank right now. Rumor has it there might be a name change. We are a healthcare-focused bank deal size of $50M - $350M. It got me thinking. What would I name the bank if I had the choice? This is where I decided to take it to WSO.. Don't let me down here.
You are the CEO of a MM bank. You want to change your name. What would your firm's name be???
EDIT: Put the those Ms in so I stop getting so much hate.
| +89 | GF doesn’t care about her looks | 57 | 5h | |
| +57 | Affair with my Associate… In Desperate Need for Advice | 23 | 1d | |
| +51 | How to sound more eloquent? | 19 | 1h | |
| +40 | 400k/year in HVAC sales? | 26 | 1d | |
| +37 | WSO Ranking On Resume??? | 9 | 1h | |
| +33 | Would you rather live alone in an outer borough or with roommates in Manhattan? | 23 | 2d | |
| +28 | Why do people listen to Jim Cramer Investing Advice? | 11 | 4h | |
| +27 | Carnivore Diet | 12 | 5h | |
| +26 | Is my boss gaslighting me? | 3 | 1d | |
| +23 | Chaotic Insane investment banker who passed away in the 90s or 2000s | 12 | 1d |
Career Resources
Get instant access to lessons taught by experienced private equity pros and bulge bracket investment bankers including financial statement modeling, DCF, M&A, LBO, Comps and Excel Modeling.
You do $50 dollar deals lol.
Ed, Edd n Eddy
Un ironically yes
tito ortiz and associates
THE Tito Ortiz? As in the fighter?
If so, I shall name my bank Sonnen and Company. The baddest bank run by the baddest man in West Linn, Oregon.
hahahaha tito can't tie his shoes
plot twist: the only beverage the employees are allowed to drink while working is Tito’s vodka
Pierce and Pierce, of course.
how do ppl still think these references are in the least bit funny or interesting
According to the Terms and Services of WSO, every thread has to reference American Psycho at least once. Ask Patrick I guess. Coincidence his name is Patrick? I think not.
Interestingly enough, I can't think of any bank that has its name as "PersonX & PersonY." Much more common in law I guess
Dewey, Cheatem & Howe
A man of culture
Howe Dewey Screwum
Prestige Worldwide and require all the analysts to wear black leather gloves throughout the day.
At the start of every pitch when walking in the room you have to say "We're here to fuck shit up"
Tobin & Co.
And have that crazy Karen who's connected to Jeffrey Epstein take you to court?
Haywood Jablome Financial Corp
The correct answer is Duke and Duke
Manhattan West Group, Inc.
Gramercy Partners
This sounds like an aggressively guido apartment brokerage
Westin Sykes & Co. (For EB)
Tyr Capital Management
Corona Partners
Dig Bick Capital Management
Big Dick Energy, LLC for short BDE
The Big Swinging Dicks
Come Honor Face Partners
Come OnHer Face
Goldman Sachs
Silverman Bags
The* Goldman Sachs
Nevercore
Black Ridge Partners
West, Ed, Earls & Dunn Partners. Small MM healthcare bank, that is focused and stoked on medicinal cannabis.
Strength Capital
BDSM Capital
whatever randolph and mortimer named their company in the film trading places. hire eddie murphy as your md
Stratton Oakmont
Broke
Stratton Oakmont
Bespoke
Douche & Touche Capital Partners
Bananastone
Old Yellen after my girl Janet
OK this one actually made me laugh
Reminds me of Old Yeller... really sad book.
Simps and Chimps
Yuge Capital
For a healthcare fund with long duration holds... Patient Capital
Black Pebble
Vitiate
Peirpoint Morgan
Oak Hedge Meadows
Chartered as First National United National First Bank; years later rebranded as FirstTrustFirst.
.
Banque De Salope Merde or BDSM for short. Everything sounds sexier in French
Oasis on Wall Street
Only hire from WSO forum members
Sike That's The Wrong Number LLC
So when my Analysts make mistakes in a model that result in a wrong valuation, at least the client will look at us and say "oh... that makes sense now".
Booze & Snooze Assoticets. BSA for short.
Always going to be either a founder name, some kind of natural formation like a rock or cliff preceded by some nondescript color, or something totally esoteric no one expected haha. Let us know what the name (or what arena it falls in) ends up being.
Brown Running Creek Capital
OnlyBanks
BTS
Like all MM banks, it should be named "Heaven"
True True
if you doing 50 to 350 dollar deals then uhhh you workin at a sperm bank.
I got "BrownView Advantage" with https://www.hedgefundnamegenerator.com/. Sounds about right.
Huh. I got "Hudson River Partners." Looks like it's real too lol http://hudrivcap.com/
Yo Mama Cap
Walpurgis and Co.
Chaddington, Chadwick, and Chadleton Partners (Nicknamed 3C)
Lehman Cousins
Sicilian Braille Capital Advisors (SBCA)
Is that bone?
FGT Partners
Foek Yue Advisory ... where you work? Foek Yue ... foek me? No, foek yue ...
[Last Name] & Co.
This is a relationship-, reputation-based industry, and putting your name on the firm's masthead shows you take that seriously.
Yasuo Capital
LMAO rubbing it in the faces of prospective clients that you´ll never perform for them but expect adorations without end for doing the bare minimum
Alphamonkey Capital Management
Blackboulder
Lizard
Pizz & Sex
Black Field Funds
Pussy Acquisitions
Quidem est vero minima dolorem accusamus quis rerum. Qui officia laudantium dolores doloribus. Et exercitationem modi beatae aut aut exercitationem omnis.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Minus consequuntur dolor quo natus exercitationem consequatur. Consectetur recusandae earum amet corrupti placeat quo et perferendis.
Vero voluptatem modi dolorem soluta quis asperiores incidunt. Quae quidem et quasi ut maiores non sunt molestiae. Vel aspernatur soluta ut voluptatem qui ducimus.
Porro sunt delectus molestiae magni optio aspernatur et. Sunt beatae vero unde a inventore sint cupiditate. Totam voluptatem ut est aut.
Aut sit saepe tenetur repudiandae sit illo et. Tenetur accusamus molestiae suscipit. Laudantium voluptatem laudantium ut quisquam tenetur. Odit assumenda rem unde sed ut molestias.
Facilis illo culpa odit cum et. Qui rerum ab sit ea qui recusandae consequatur. Ea molestias rerum magni in.
Quibusdam odit mollitia sed odit et officiis. Qui beatae autem rerum quo. Illo sint debitis aut aut ut voluptatem non. Ipsam autem atque rerum mollitia quasi.
Consequatur placeat aut id ut. Veritatis ut dolores itaque magni est.
Accusamus dicta et eius animi. Velit est culpa aperiam inventore. Qui architecto quos totam totam est adipisci aut.
Quisquam est culpa quis quaerat dolor veritatis. Quae error facere qui cumque maiores. Est ea et magni quia. Magnam quisquam laudantium ut nesciunt fugiat.