WTF College?!
After reading community's "High School Regrets," I started looking all the way back at my high school years to search and find regrets that I may have. Naturally, I came across ones such as being more proactive in athletics, hitting up a couple more girls, etc. However, as I am wrapping up my penultimate year in college, I also find myself judging my "performance" from the past three years here. A lot come into mind, but I will share a few that clearly stand out:
1.) Screwing up my freshman year: Feeling pretentious and proud for getting into a rather decent school, I wasted my freshman year by sinking myself into pools of beer and partying. Academics was always in my mind, but I placed higher emphasis on expanding my social network and having fun. If I did get something out of the experience, it was that I was able to meet many people early in the year who eventually became my good friends. Of course, many may say that friends made during freshman year do not become friends at all sometimes. For me, I was able to somehow miraculously build upon the built relationships into something better. Nevertheless, in retrospect, I failed terribly on the motto of, "Work Hard, Play Hard(ER)." Although I picked up my grades afterwards, I wish I had placed more emphasis on taking control of my behavior and focusing a bit more on self-development.
2.) Taking control of classes: Since I attend a business school, my class schedule/course load is practically the same as those of my friends every semester. By permitting the school administration to control what courses I take every semester, I did not have the opportunity to venture out and explore new fields and areas of studies. I did pick up a few concentrations here and there, but I regret not attempting to escape the norm in fear that it will slow me down or place me behind others. In retrospect, who gives a f*** if you screw up a bit here and there. I really regret not seeing the bigger picture and learning for the sake of learning. I will, however, note here that I do love my undergraduate business curriculum (I mean, I did choose b-school for a reason). Nonetheless, having the courage to not imitate, but initiate is a principle I wish others after me can follow.
3.) Getting a significant other early in college: This is a split topic that I am still confused about. First and foremost, I love my girlfriend of many years and respect her for who she is beyond her many professional and academic achievements. She supports me through hard times, and I know she will in the years to come as well. However, commitment is a beautiful, but scary thing. By immersing yourself so much into a single person, you lose sight of what is around you. As for myself, I failed miserably in maintaining that proud friend network I said I built in 1.). Of course, the problem with this regret is that I should have done a better job taking care of others and managing my time well. Still, I will say that dating early for a long time can hurt you. However, if you are interested in entering a relationship, I will comment that I have seen many success cases as well!
4.) Lying to myself: Are you actually trying your best? I lied to myself that I did in retrospect. Scary isn't it? Recognize early that you might not be doing your best because of your laziness. Don't bullsh*t yourself. Understand the errors early on, and then try not to make them too much in the future (b/c we all know that you will make them again in the future anyway).
Anyways, that's my short rant. I am expecting both shouts of protest and knocks of agreement on this post. Still, it was fun sharing my personal stories.
Do you have regrets?
Destroyed school academically, but I wish I had been more social and outgoing at times. I got a girlfriend and that made me even MORE limited because I spent all my free time with her instead of meeting new people. It worked out in the end, though, I suppose.
Well that sucks.
My list of regrets from college is longer than the Quran. However, I have learned a new virtue since leaving school: looking on the bright side. Once you learn to spontaneously think of positive outcomes in conjunction with the bad, you will take on a truly different approach to your life.
question, are you me?
In line with what some of OP said, my biggest regret of college is coming into the entire thing thinking I "had it made" and was set for the rest of life. My HS GPA was very mediocre, but because of athletics, I got into a top ranked college. Once I got in I figured that I was set for success and that I would never have to work hard again, that my college's name brand would take me places in it of itself. I should have spent more time listening to people and hearing their input on how to prepare for the next steps, but I didn't. Instead, I partied and did things "my way." Water under the bridge now, but I always wish I had been smarter about things.
Even though it wasn't as explicit before, I thought getting in college was my end-goal. Once I was there, life would be easy, only to realize later in the college that the end-goal wasn't getting in; end-goal was to perform well both academically and in other aspects of college.
3 is so true. I've also seen people get into serious relationships early on not realizing how much they will really change throughout the four years. Who you are as a freshman is different from who you become as a senior and after you get a FT job and actually have money + responsibilities.
Taking a challenging course load every semester including Freshman Fall. Getting into a target school deluded me to think that I was smart and that I could handle hard classes.... RIP GPA. I should have been an Econ concentrator taking blow off classes, and getting a 3.9+!
Things like this are always an interesting read… I'm just about to wrap up my first semester of freshman year. Have to say, its been a great expirence.
I regret quitting football. Not going to Cancun for spring break. I am at odds with number 3. I wish I would have locked in the good ones early. Other than that college was perfect. Can't wait until this year is over.
I regret not joining clubs earlier and not being as social as I was in high school. Gosh, college..
I wish I could skip the grind of IB and get a job in PE/VC post undergrad. I am now doing fine at MM PE.
As someone in the midst of sophomore year with a 3.8 but a lacking social life, I think it's about striking a balance. However, striking that perfect balance is nearly unattainable and regrets are inevitable.
For me it's Greek Life. I should have joined 1st semester freshman year. Now I'm rushing 2nd semester sophomore and feel like the Guy Making Up For a Lost Opportunity. (Any Greeks in here? Thoughts?)
I did high school mostly right but could have had a lot more fun. Looking back on it, I could have gotten away with so much more. So now, I kind of push the envelope as much as possible when I can. I honestly regret not joining ROTC in college, it would have provided the stability and resources my family could not, that and I really think that without the experience I'm less of a person. In my mind, when you're between 16 and 25, things like relationships, career, and social standing really should take a back seat to personal development, fun, and pure ambition. Go out and experience everything, and don't worry about what other people think. Get laid, travel, start a business, job hop, all those type of things. There's plenty of successful people who have followed all the rules and always been respectible and mediocre. But look at the real movers and shakers, and the majority have checkered pasts, are obsessed with what they do, are often borderline criminal, and tend not to give two shits what other people think of them.
The one thing I wish I'd realized earlier, and it's the exact opposite of what school teaches, is that most people you meet in your life don't matter. Most of the things that people are trying to sell you...don't matter. Your job, your self concept at the naive age of 20....they really don't matter. When you're on your deathbed in seventy years, you won't care about what people thought of you, how well you did at work, or how much stuff you own....you'll look back on the experiences and people that mattered, maybe your contribution to the world if you're really lucky to have one. Drawing on that then, focus on the stuff that counts in the long run.
If they taught that in high school and college, I think more people would have better lives.
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