how to be a good intern / employee

I'd like to share the following story from the trenches, in the hopes that it helps others.
I run the department of a family office's investment vehicle, and previously I was in PE.

Those whom I feel are top performers do 3 related things: they are proactive, they take ownership, and they work collaboratively.

We just had a freshman intern depart.
He was awesome - and I would contrast him to the 3rd year analyst we have who is not doing well.

I recently gave them both a PPT to do, with the analyst in charge, and the intern to support.

Intern: proactively took time overnight to draw out draft slides on paper before doing work
Analyst; did "research" online for a week, didn't provide a draft paper outline or mock slides even when requested, and only turned in her attempt at finished slides which missed the mark entirely

Intern: built out aesthetic slides, and showed progress report
Analyst: built slides with inconsistent format, wordy and not punchy

Intern: continuous progress update on the work, and ownership of the final product
Analyst: no ownership of final product, only does those specific slides when requested, and then says "I've saved the slide to the shared drive." Me: "you're responsible to turn in a finished deck. Take ownership."

Finally -why I suck as a manager.
I'm having trouble communicating my thoughts, and in motivating my analyst.
I'm trying not to micromanage, but at the same time, the work I'm getting back is crap.
So since ownership of the department's performance is mine,
I need to own up to that and find a way to improve this problem.
Hope my sharing the above helps though.

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