How to go back on a PE offer?
Recruited on-cycle and received an offer from a buyout shop for the SF office for summer 2023 start. Have since decided that I really don't want to move to the west coast (don't know anyone, have a new GF in NYC, etc.) I expressed some concerns re: location during the process, but ultimately just signed during the craziness. Was placed through one of the major headhunters. Am pretty concerned that I'd be miserable, that it might be bad for my mental health, etc., as the last time I was in SF was a bit of a ghost town post-COVID and I don't know anyone. Is there anyway to extricate myself and let them know I don't want to move to SF without destroying my reputation in the industry?
Reputation? At worst the firm and recruiting firm will not work with you ever again. You can try to explain that you have a family commitment and leave it at that. Personally I would never snub a job based on being with a "new gf," but that's a different question all together.
Tough situation. Any chance the firm has a NY office? I'd start with your HH and say you were excited about SF, but for personal / family reasons (don't elaborate) you need to stay in the NYC area, and would it be possible to move your offer to NY. If not, you may need to politely renege. If anyone from the firm asks, say you were really looking forward to it but you have to stay local for family reasons and understand if they cannot move the offer. Obviously can't use that HH anymore, but I don't think the other HHs or peer firms will blackball you.
I also think moving somewhere unknown and scary is a good life experience, akin to going away to college for the first time, but that's up to you if you really don't think it's a good idea
Go spend a few days in SF and have some fun, then decide next steps.
Don't start making decisions based on girlfriends. If you don't have kids yet, follow your own dreams and hope she is serious about you.
Makes a career decision based on a new GF lmao and no friends? get your head out of your ass.
If it’s CPI / Amity I wouldn’t renege. At a min you can do 6 months and lateral (few friends did this)
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