I hyper-fixate on what my seniors think of me / my performance and its destroying my mental health

Anyone in a similiar boat? This is literally all I think of, at work, and out of. I know it is so dumb to be so fixiated on this, it is just a job at the end of the day, and I have gotten great reviews and feedback, but I can't help but feel everyone just looks at me like I am so stupid from the outside. 

If I fat finger a number at work and make a tiny typo I feel like I just hurt my career and I will no joke think of this mistake all week and into the weekend. I know how psychotic and abnormal that sounds but just really want to hear from any others that have dealt with this, etc. 

3 Comments
 

These feels highly relevant to this situation that's entirely of your own making

 
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You're ultra high conscientiousness, which can be good up to a point but bad at the levels you're experiencing it.  As someone who has also had this at points in my career, I would look into the following: 

  • Therapy, especially from professionals that work w/ individuals in high performing careers
  • Books that help reframe mindset. Personally would recommend Man's Search for Meaning and The Courage to be Disliked but there's a ton of other great ones
  • Pick up a hobby that forces you to be in the moment, which is effectively forced mindfulness. I actually found martial arts like bjj are great for this, but you can probably achieve this w/most team sports

 

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