I hyper-fixate on what my seniors think of me / my performance and its destroying my mental health
Anyone in a similiar boat? This is literally all I think of, at work, and out of. I know it is so dumb to be so fixiated on this, it is just a job at the end of the day, and I have gotten great reviews and feedback, but I can't help but feel everyone just looks at me like I am so stupid from the outside.
If I fat finger a number at work and make a tiny typo I feel like I just hurt my career and I will no joke think of this mistake all week and into the weekend. I know how psychotic and abnormal that sounds but just really want to hear from any others that have dealt with this, etc.
These feels highly relevant to this situation that's entirely of your own making
You're ultra high conscientiousness, which can be good up to a point but bad at the levels you're experiencing it. As someone who has also had this at points in my career, I would look into the following:
Pick up a hobby that forces you to be in the moment, which is effectively forced mindfulness. I actually found martial arts like bjj are great for this, but you can probably achieve this w/most team sports
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