PE………
Has anyone ever felt rlly guilty for quitting? This probably sounds extremely stupid (it’s just business)…but I joined a PE fund half a year ago after a yr in banking. While my team is really invested in my growth and generally understanding, I just can’t do the hours anymore (I thought PE would be better - it’s not). I haven’t seen my family in a year, shit I don’t even see the sun five days of the week. The only thing keeping me is the guilt of leaving early (they took a chance on me and had high hopes I’d one day become VP or hell even director), but my health has taken a toll. Not to be dramatic but I lost every part of me. I am a shell of a person and I think enough is enough. Obviously this is still finance and nobody gives a shit about mental health or any health (let’s all be honest) but my team is small and very tight-knit so they would definitely be shocked. Also they would have to hire and train another analyst which would take months and make my associate’s life even worse than it already is..just don’t want to disappoint anyone. Am I overthinking or just need to grow some balls?
Haha my man why are you even thinking about what's good for the company. Just quit if you want to. It's even easier to be true friends with your old colleagues once you no longer work there because you no longer need to think of it as professional
Don't worry about disappointing anyone, you need to do what is best for you. It's not your responsibility to make up for their lack of consideration / organization / poor staffing model. This job simply doesn't need to be 80-90+ hrs per week all the time and it's not unreasonable to expect a bit of reprieve, time off to see family / friends, and get some sleep. The problem is everyone will keep leaning on you until you either break or push back... it's unfortunately how most people in this industry operate.
If you haven't already, I would suggest having a conversation with the right people about your first half year at the firm (you should probably have a check in with people anyway at this stage)... if you enjoy the work / people and could see yourself working there assuming a more reasonable WLB try to communicate that and see if they are willing to work with you to chart a path forward. If not, it should make your departure even easier IMO.
Of course if you don't want to be there regardless of the outcome of that conversation just leave. I think by default most places will work you like a dog (either deliberately or inadvertently because people are disorganized or don't have the full view of what's on your plate) but over time as you build goodwill and establish yourself as a valued member of the team (especially in a smaller team environment you are describing) you are generally able to set some boundaries, within reason. Good luck either way and hope you feel better!
Fuck that man do what’s best for you. Companies (whether BBs or small boutique funds) will terminate you for whatever reason w/o hesitation. You need to have the same mentality
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