Toxic Mindset or Perfect Description of Reality?

For context, I work at a firm focused on co-invest/secondaries/fund-of-fund investments, so not quite pure-play private equity. From this point, I'll just refer to the strategy as FoFs. I've seen a fair amount of discussion here about how much more "relaxed", "laid-back", "down to earth", or "nice" those who work within FoFs are (including self-proclaimed comments by those on my team) compared to those working in direct/buyout, but I'm holding my breath waiting for this point of view to become a reality.

Here is my hot take, I view this point of view as one that has been created and spread internally by those working in FoFs, and it is a defense mechanism in response to the fact that they generate less in fees and carry compared to your traditional buyout firm. "Yeah sure, we're less successful professionally, but we're simply better quality people.". Whatever the stereotype of the undesirable buyout bro is, i don't know, brash/loud/in your face, I can promise that the FoF bros are no different, but their undesirable/antagonistic qualities are simply far more covert, subtle, and low-key. I'll take a direct punch to the face vs. behind your back mean girls sh*t any day of the week. At least you know where you stand in that case. Perhaps my situation is anecdotal, but I get the feeling that FoF bros have just as big of egos, but are bitter and resentful over the fact that they couldn't "make it" at a buyout shop (look who's talking I guess).

I feel like if I had a strong connection with a prospective LP who wanted to invest, say, $100M/$500M/etc. into our latest fund, some of the more senior employees (especially mid-seniority types e.g., VP/Principal) wouldn't even be happy about it because it "wasn't them" bringing in the business. Individual recognition appears to far surpass winning and succeeding as a team (imagine a mid-seniority employee making and point and immediately therefore darting his eyes to one of the partners in a desperate attempt to be recognized/approved of). 

Anyways, perhaps this topic is far too niche, perhaps the dynamics I've described are dime a dozen and the reality of the broader investment world, and perhaps I need to get over myself. I'm more than willing to be chewed out over this, but definitely am curious as to whether anyone has thoughts on FoFs, personalities in the workplace, etc.