Weird seating arrangement changing my perception hard
Our office had a weird situation where they re-did the layout and arrangements and they could not fit all of the juniors in the bullpen in my group, they asked if someone didn't mind and could volunteer to instead sit with the admins / HR and I said sure.
I know this will seem like a super obvious take, but holy shit their lives seem 10x more enjoyable and are way happier than us in "high finance". Couple things I have noticed just sitting with them for months now:
I come into the office after a latenight with no sleep already stressed and anxious out of my mind for the next day and here they are storming in laughing, smiling and saying good morning to everyone. They sit down, eat a nice breakfast, check news, social media, etc. Just seems like a pleasant morning and not an absolute fire under my ass like I am used to.
Their weekday nights just sound awesome. They constantly talk about what movies or shows they are watching, new hobbies they picked up, food they are cooking, workout / fitness classes they are doing, rec league sports they joined
They talk all day about just human stuff. Talk about their friends, their families, their next vacation, the new hobby they are picking up, etc. Its sad to think their lives just look like HUMAN. I guess this is the product of working 100 hour weeks and a soulless environment, but it seems so sad that my life is just deadlines and sitting in a desk. When I was in the bullpen no one really chitchatted all day and seemed happy, it was more just looking over eachother and going "Is your capiq down too"?
They are so compassionate and care about eachother. At times they will turn to eachother and say stuff like you've been on a sprint of working for hours, why dont you take a break and relax a little? Or you have been busy, let me go get you some food or a snack. Also super considerate on deadlines, pushing back, etc.
Post probably seems pointless but I just am in love with sitting with these people now. They completely changed my perception that life isn't so focused around this dumb job and I love seeing how go lucky and happy they are.
I’ve found admins to be generally nice and pleasant people. A lot of the senior people ignore them / treat them poorly but I try to make it a habit to spend a couple of minutes each day I’m in the office to shoot the breeze with them. They are extremely appreciative of even simple things like that. I get them small gifts for the holidays and they’re extremely thankful (by comparison, I’ll slog for hours and hours for my bosses, and I’m lucky to get a “thanks” over email). You treat them nicely and they’ll also hook you up (ordering your favorite snacks, letting you know when your bosses aren’t coming in, etc.). There’s more to life than work, good to remind yourself that.
well said brother
This is absolutely the hack. Some of the admins have senior pull in the organization too as they’re some of the only folks that interface with the deal team that don’t turn over frequently.
Having exec admins in your corner pays huge dividends. They're also the most "normal" people in most organizations. It's sometimes worth walking over to their desks and asking for things / small talk vs. sending emails for the face time. Admins who have your back mean you're usually at the top of the list for their executive's finite time and get know when something is going down ahead of others. Admins who like you will also say nice things about you to their exec-- I've seen this in action.
“Blessed are the idiots, for they are happiest people on earth.”
There is a lot of truth to the ole saying "ignorance is bliss". No I'm not calling them idiots, but in finance we get echo chambered and pigeon holed and go years without lifting our head up out of the water. "Touch some grass" goes a long way.
If you think that your admins/non-FO folks at your institution are idiots I think you need to touch grass first
Know you said you aren't doing that but idk how else to possibly interpret your comment
The way to interpret is that it's a blessing to not care about the rat race that we care so deeply about in finance. We're in an echo chamber that is 100% about money and status. The majority of people aren't in that same echo chamber and they're better off for it, that's what I meant. Literally nothing to do with intelligence, status in an org, etc.
jesus christ the reading comprehension of people on this site
Many are married to wealthy spouses that allow them to be more laid back
“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.“
Yeah, you're a real rough man checking your Bloomie and buying the dip after you hear that a merger might blow up. What would society do without you putting the team on your back?
I mean, he’s not wrong. A lot of the people I know that are happy go lucky in te way described in the OP are well taken care of whether it is due to their own previous success, their spouse, or their family money.
🤓😳
I hit the gym 4 x/wk, watch shows, go to weeknight dinners etc. Just get promoted being an associate is indentured servitude
I don't think the point OP is making is that off as a vibe, though. Not an attack on you or anything, but exercising, date / drinks nights, and watching Netflix are sort of the most basic "extracurriculars" that finance professionals tend to have or share. Move heavy things. Move body faster. Pound alcohol with buddy. Spoil the wife. Watch the slop, etc.
Even when a lot of people in PE pursue other extracurriculars, their mindset seems to be weirdly competitive and striving: Post that ultramarathon or Strava run on Instagram, Make sure everyone knows you watch Broadway or the opera, not lowly Netflix. Buy philanthropy by being on a local nonprofit board to help underserved high school kids (and let's be honest, it's always the underserved high school kids charity until you get those Red Cross connections). Patronize the local art museum that's prestigious enough to be recognized but hipster enough to signify good taste. Be on school board of kindergarten that feeds into the right middle school that feeds into the right high school that feeds into Harvard (and if that falls through, there's always the legacy). Go on hike, but not just any hike--it has to be the one with the BEST view or the COLDEST weather or the TOUGHEST trail. Go on the most luxurious vacation (email responses slightly delayed).
But at the end of the day, I think a lot of PE professionals do sound a little automaton-y at work when they're talking to each other in the office. Very cursory "how was your weekend" one-liners before heading into deal talk, and little to no follow-up questions about personal interests or family lives. Weirdly, in nearly all-male environments, not even a ton of *sports* talk (this was wild to me coming from banking) because it's somehow perceived as a distraction even though everyone follows it. All of this seems awfully plastic and dystopian compared to idk the assistant who just talks about having dinner with his four friends from high school or who recounts her failed efforts to bake some kind of cake for her family over the weekend.
You absolutely nailed it. Right on the head.
Call me a total sweat but there is nothing wrong from wanting the best in life all the not and stopping to smell the roses like you seem to imply is important, as long you’re truly living fast for yourself.
I’m the guy that’s up at 6:30 every morning to workout, study for the GRE or otherwise do something that improves my skills before work. Then on the weekends I do the same shit but it’s skinning up trails to ski, hiking some ridiculous shit or going out to catch THE biggest fish. But I don’t talk about it like an ass- I don’t post all over for clout- that’s the key. Because I do it for me. Because I grew up watching my own dad never cease the moment and now he’s in his 70s with cancer.
Hours and workload are insane, but people also want hours of daily introspective conversation sharing hopes and dreams with the dozen people they interact with every day, making the day even longer? I don’t get it. I want work to be work - as efficient and quick as possible most days so we can all can get home to our friends and family.
Love the sentiments here. Only piece of mentorship advice (not to discount the great experience that you're having) - given that you're off on your own island, make sure you stay plugged in with the other analysts and broader group. There's a lot of learning that happens over a peer's shoulder or listening to others' conversations/questions. I'd hate for you to miss out by being so far away. Similarly, sometimes seniors find it easy to forget about resources who aren't visible when it comes to feedback, interesting staffings, etc.
Again, zero shade. Just something to be mindful as you navigate the next few years.
What a kind, considerate, and helpful comment. You make great points, and I didn't interpret it at all negatively. Thanks for being awesome!
You could have that life if you wanted to, but it’s just about priorities. Imagine you save $50k as a first year analyst and they’re spending all their paycheck in HCOL city: at 7% growth over 30 years you have ~$380k, if growth is 10% you have ~$870k.
Since you saved early in your career, you are guaranteed to be a millionaire and likely to be a multi-millionaire if you invest consistently. It is likely at age 60 that those people may still be renting and struggle to pay for college for their kids or upgrade their seats on a flight (I’ve never ridden above economy, but at 60 I’ll probably hate that).
Life is trade offs, but that doesn’t stop you from being a person that exudes positivity like them.
Be quite cog, complete your mandatory 20 hours of work, and leave. Jokes aside, unless you're a passionate autists high finance is a tad over rated
You think they’d be that nice to you if you were an admin too?
Just to look at it from the other angle so there is balance. You shouldn’t hate your life past your mid/late 20s. Find a balance that works for you and live a life, don’t just survive and save like we did from 20-25. But, don’t forget that there are reasons to be in your shoes. It’s never a good idea to not be rich.
They probably would be nice to you even if you were an admin, but you get my drift.
Good. Wealth is not the accumulation of resources; wealth is the accumulation of the ability to spend time the way you want to. Bankers are rich in the accounting sense, poor by every other measure.
Would agree for sure. At a super lean fund and often sit or chat with the mostly female middle / back office. Just a different vibe compared to the rest of the investment team and especially compared to the hardos in the bullpen during my analyst years. Don’t get me wrong, we used to have a putting mat and goof off a little but it’s a different level of relaxed vibe. They genuinely don’t give AF about their jobs and just clock in clock out like a 9-5. Helps you keep perspective honestly. And realistically why should they grind if they’re making a fraction of what an investor / banker makes?
They are free. Meanwhile most individuals pursuing careers in IB/Biglaw/PE etc…are not free. A slave to how others perceive them. Fully subscribed to living a vain life. Someone who can enjoy the small things in life, now that’s power.
People who MS'd my first reply, you should read my second reply and apologize!
The poors cope. Admin probly has a high net worth husband or some other family money to enjoy life in HCOL areas
You’re so wrong lmfao - one of my admins makes 250k😘
It's because HR/admin is mostly former attractive sorority girls who are very socially polished. Not because having a mundane poor plebeian job will magically make your life sunshine and rainbows.
This applies to...one of my four favorite admins, with the other three being a Latina grandmother who immigrated when she was like 35, one being a soccer dad, and another being idk just a regular mom who's been the PA for one of the partners forever at all his firms. There's no need to get porn-brained about the point here.
This comment actually upset me & im sure you meant nothing by it. DEPENDING on the PE firm DEPENDS on your work life balance. Executive Assistant here to the CEO & let me tell you - I HAVE NO LIFE THIS YOUNG. I get binged no matter what day or hour. To the point I’m actually doing some of associate work (that is totally not even able to be qualified under admin work) because PPL ARE LAZY - no matter the title. & who is ALWAYS there to clean it up? The Admins. Oh- and let’s not forget the huge pay cut we take
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