Work pressure broke me - cried at work
I'm a grown men and known for my relatively stoic demeanor. Never had a sick day or anything. This week I completely broke down.
I clocked consecutive 3am nights and was always told the work product is bad, not good enough, need to turn around immediately, etc.
I never felt this in my life but I was completely numb. Like I could not think anymore. I did not eat, could barely sleep and once just broke down and cried the whole day.
Took a sick leave now and probably this will look bad on my reviews, but I a can't just work like this any longer.
a lot younger than you, but hang in there man. reputations are sticky, and by the time bonus season rolls around people will have forgotten. most importantly, be kind to yourself. don’t let some retard’s opinion affect your self worth just because they have eaten shit longer than you to get promoted. You seem like a nice dude, call your parents or a friend, have a convo you’ll enjoy, remember there are people who care about you in real life (ie. outside of work). the only way to make it long term here is to be ruthlessly selfish and remember the reason you’re working in this industry is only and should only ever be YOU (or your family but that’s really the same thing), everyone negative is just noise or an obstacle in the way of YOUR progression. hope this helps, this was the only way i was able to cope during my own times of adversity, so hoping to pay it forward. hang in, you’ll make it.
adderall for a period to regain confidence and then assess next steps
not medical advice... get prescription... beware of addiction... but important to rebuild self-perception before any major decision because you probably slipped somewhere that put u on a downward spiral so jsut need to get out from this and get back on track/create some momentum
ah yes, drugs in a period where you’re at a low. what could go wrong!
no... this small brain take... u have drugs that bring u down (LSD/meth) and you have drugs that make you very efficient and increase dopamine (adderall/bromatane/dopa muca, etc... long list...)
it's like when you have a cold, you could stay miserable for a week or you could rely on some cold powders/vitamins/hot teas, etc. to get back on track
u sir... need to inform yourself before commenting...
I went to HBS so I felt pretty well prepared for a strenuous environment, maybe try again next time
Crying is just your body releasing chemicals to help make you feel better. It’s good to cry dude.
It might be your nervous system telling you it’s time to go. Maybe start looking for your exit if you haven’t already.
no... crying is gay...
I usually think you have interesting and valuable POV but OP is clearly in a difficult situation man. It's good to cry it out for a bit / a few days and start thinking about an exit to be safe. OP - if you clearly made up your mind you're ready to leave, as a last resort maybe talk to an senior (that you think could be more understanding) to explain your situation. It it helps improve things great. If it doesn't and just makes the people you work under hate you more, well you were already on the way out anyways.
What the fck is wrong with you man. This is kinda serious post and OP is reaching out to the forum and asking for advice/opinions/encouragement. Im a huge jokester and always dicking around but this feels like wrong place to make multiple brain dead comments like take Adderall and crying is gay. Fcking idiot man
Hahah wait how old are you? I refuse to believe this industry allows such idiots to survive 😂 you’ve been getting handouts bro…
Leave and do something better. No job is worth taking that crap
I’ve been in this industry for 5 years now and have been brought to tears twice it’s nothing to be ashamed of. To win in this industry is to survive
make PE crying great again
U got issues get off this site it’s sad
Just another example of PE being one of the most retarded jobs a person can work (I work in PE). The traditional associate experience is straight up abuse and it’s stupid to pretend it’s anything but. Something’s gotta give. How many people have to die of heart attacks or develop depression for something to change. Wtf are we doing here
How many people need to just quit a job and choose a different career path instead of bitching and moaning that an industry won't change to accommodate them...? I know substantially more people in PE who are fine with it than not, and it's only an even smaller subset of the latter who fall into the categories you describe. The people who are having heart attacks/developing depression over a job sound they've got other personal/health issues they should be adult enough to sort out themselves. If you can't cook then stay out of the fucking kitchen instead of demanding kitchens change their requirements.
Seriously, there's SO MANY JOBS out there. Lots of them make good money. If PE or IB or HF or AM or any fucking job makes you miserable then fucking LEAVE. DO SOMETHING ELSE. It's not that deep, it's not that complicated, if you choose to stay and suffer then shut the fuck up about it because you're doing it to yourself. For the love of god what kind of masochist are you to stay in a job that breaks you down to the point of crying in the office? What kind of man has that little self-respect that they even let it get to that point. Life is too short and working to make someone else money is not worth your dignity and mental stability unless you're getting paid many millions of dollars IMO (and even then, what's the point of having FU money if you take that sort of abuse?!).
no Sir PrivateTechquity... how u dare to even raise proposal to strip him him of title of master of universe, of big money, of big prestige... you are evil man... OP felt pervasive superiority when he joined PE job (probably even boasted on LinkedIn), to now wanting to strip him of this title... this is not ideal... listen to my proposal...
send him to Nairobi coal mine ... face black with coal and 3 loaves of bread a day.... living in barrack with bad roof so he has to sleep under bed when it rains.... no medical assistance whatsoever on a 50km radius if ebola spreads.... then after 1 year you bring him back, shower him, give him a white ironed shirt and drop him back to his PE job...
i believe that he will not just stop crying, but he will also be similing ear to ear 24/7...
Thank you for posting and I resonate hard.
I have been crying multiple times a week for around 1+ years now. Every morning is filled with absolute dread and despair. All of my life worries and stress come literally from this job alone. Just please know you are not alone at all. I
gay....
I think the only gay thing in this entire thread is you roleplaying and cosplaying as a famous investment banker LMAO
Dude you are such a sad human being. OP is clearly mentally not in a great place and you try to crap all over him?
If you keep up this attitude, one day you'll experience that type of pain but no one will be there for you
You have good advice, but evidently, you're quite ego driven and have some things to figure out in your own life as well.
You're replying to all these comments with seemingly illogical/unhelpful initial replies or a better way to put it would just be plain harsh, as per the above -- then when people call you out or ask what's wrong with you for being so insensitive, you actually provide valuable and pretty differentiated logical information, which obviously allows you to 'win' the argument. You want people to think you're wrong or the 'bad guy' initially so you can then prove them wrong.
I used to do this exact thing in like grade 10 with topics I was relatively knowledgeable about dude. I guess it probably gives you a sense of control or power in your life to say something harsh then win the argument, since it validates an initial illogical play/response -- but why don't you just leave one comment with a ton of value for OP, not trying to subconsciously or purposely inflate your ego and grasp for some small win.
I wouldn't envision anyone truly content with their life would leave such illogical and harsh initial comments, when they could instead just leave something valuable. I assume you are or have experienced similar experiences or traits to OP which is just casting that initial unprovoked harsh response.
If that's just your natural inclination, I think you're smart enough to be introspective and see that some improvements could be made.
If this is true I think you really should quit, think its too bad for mental health tbh... but if you need the cash/income I can see why you're hanging on...
is PE even worth it anymore
You could literally just say someone in your family died or something.
I’m in a somewhat similar place right now, feeling pretty burned out and worn down at work, even while admittedly working far fewer hours than you.
First, I don’t think you should feel ashamed at all. Consecutive 3am nights, not eating, not sleeping, and feeling like you can’t think anymore would break almost anyone. Sleep deprivation is recognized as a form of torture by the UN! The fact that you cried or needed sick leave does not mean you are weak.
I also think it is worth stepping back and remembering that one bad week, one review, one boss, or one job is not your whole career. In the moment it can feel existential, especially early on, but in the grand scheme of things it is not worth sacrificing your health over.
The harder question, and the one I am currently struggling with myself, is whether this is actually the right path to be on. Everyone has a different reason for doing this, and only you can decide whether the tradeoff is worth it. But I do think experiences like this are worth taking seriously. If the job requires nearly all of your waking hours, constant pressure, no real recovery, and you do not find the work meaningful enough to justify it, then it is probably worth reflecting on whether the path still makes sense.
thank you!! almost cried today at work. this is helpful
Hey man, I wouldn’t worry too much about crying on the job. It’s happened to me twice in my career. One time it was even held against me, which was pretty messed up because I was completely exhausted. I had worked late, stayed up until 4 am waiting for feedback and was so sleep deprived I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
There are probably 3 possible outcomes here: you improve your work product and this becomes a turning point, performance doesn’t improve and they see it as a sign you’re struggling and now checked out, or the person you cried to is emotionally intelligent, keeps it confidential and genuinely wants to help. That does happen, although I wouldn’t rely on it too much in this industry because people tend to be self interested and now gaf.
One thing I’d recommend is leaning harder into AI. If you become a real power user, it can dramatically improve your work product and efficiency. I became top bucket once I started using it heavily and nobody knows. I also wouldn't share your tips and tricks with people because at the end of the day it's a competition and you want to widen that gap especially if you are "behind."
Also, make sure people understand the volume of work you’re handling. You don’t need to complain, just be factual and transparent about the number of workstreams and deadlines you’re juggling.
And honestly, if the environment just isn’t the right fit, I’d focus on lateralling eventually. Once people form opinions in this industry, they can be hard to change. Sometimes it’s less about ability and more about fit. Get the reps where you are now, then use that experience to crush a fresh opportunity elsewhere.
As a FGLI student who grew up in a dysfunctional family and attended a Duke/Dartmouth/Brown type school via Questbridge, I thought I saw the dark side of life and had overcome it forever when I was able to get a MF PE SA internship.
I genuinely thought I made it, but the work pressure eventually broke me, and I did not end up getting a return offer for FT.
I spent an entire week just lying in bed, depressed, crying, and feeling beaten down.
My narcissist father taunted me, saying that he was right about me that I don't have what it takes to work on Wall Street and that I should be working at a gas station for the rest of my life.
I went no contact with him after graduation, but the office politics and my narc father's taunts definitely caused me to break under all the pressure.
Eventually, I picked myself up and had a great career, but crying and letting it out does help a lot.
OP don't sweat it -- clearly time to leave. Would line something else up before leaving if you can though
There are far bigger and better things out there for you. Once you leave and find something that's 50hrs or less in a profession with far fewer sociopaths, you'll find life to be incredible again. Friends, hobbies, family, dating, exercise, travel, real vacation time -- all of these amazing things are waiting for you on the other side
Not OP but in PE and thinking about leaving for all of the potential benefits you mentioned. Care to share what field you switched to? Actively considering various options but not sure what exactly to pursue after leaving PE
I never worked in PE. I'm just telling you the amazing things that will be in your life at a normal pressure gig. I work in LO AM but started right out of undergrad
The lack of empathy is on this site is bewildering but at the same time on brand for this industry.
Also, some people can’t just up and quit their jobs. They may have medical issues, families to support, or other factors at play. I don’t know if that’s the case here but it’s something to keep in mind when badgering people.
Obviously, people need to prioritize their mental health but it’s not always that simple.
Just leave. No job is worth that. The only question is, do you quit right away, or try to line something else up first? Normally lining something up is the way to go, but in an unusually brutal situation like yours, might be better to just plain quit and take a rest, then look for a more sane job.
I don’t really see how you would even have any time for recruiting while working your current job if you’re putting in that many hours, though
Idk which is better for you since I don’t know you; maybe ask a close friend or family member? No need to share about the crying part if that’s embarrassing, but I think anyone can grasp the enormity of stress you’re going through if you’re doing consecutive 3am workdays
Your long term career goals are a key factor too, obviously. If you’re committed to a full career in “high finance”, then obviously you need to plan out where you’re going next and what field you want to work in long term. Quitting without something lined up might not be the move in that case
Don’t worry about the crying. You need to figure out if it’s you or the job. It’s probably not you, but maybe part of it is? It’ll be hard to know and even harder to dissect in your current state. Try to get some sleep this weekend and evaluate if there’s anything you could’ve done to improve the situation: better communication, do you procrastinate?, are you stuck on too many deals / portcos at the same time?, etc.
If at the end of this the answer is no or even if it’s not no but there’s no a fix, you should start looking for a new job. Could stay in PE or try something else. But no job is worth your sanity, you only have one life. Don’t waste it making some sexless millennial 35 year old principal a few M richer (if the carry is even worth anything).
Truly don’t understand all these comments of people saying they’ve been worked to mental implosion and just saying “I know where you’re coming from, keep going and hang in there” — are you people sick?? Do you truly believe if you don’t let someone brutalize you that you’ll starve to death? You do realize there are people making big money while not being slaves worked to death right? Truly don’t understand this slave cattle mindset, you really can’t complain as you do it to yourselves
100%
Btw I'm the Duke/Dartmouth/Brown Questbridge alum who commented above, which brings me to my point below.
Look at the P72 lawsuit from the Michigan Ross kid - no matter how elite the company and job, they don't care about us at all.
At the end of the day, to them, we are but pawns of large American corporations. Do we not think that they will dispose of, replace, and forget about us once we are of no use to them? I saw it happen to many members of my family and family friends.
True success is escaping the competition entirely.
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