Guy at the office keeps telling me to “be quiet”
Bit of a funny situation but there is this guy at the office who always tells me to be quiet. It happens often, I’m talking to someone and he’ll just stand up from his cubicle and be like, “Hey, can you be quiet” I’m not even talking loudly. I’m just having a normal conversation with the person next to me.
He doesn’t do it to anyone else, even if their being far louder than I am. Every time I open I say something, he’ll stand up, look me in the eye and tell me to be quiet. I have no idea why he does this. It makes me very uncomfortable and I get so anxious and stressed about going to work because it’s going to happen. He doesn’t even sound annoyed or angry with me. He just calmly stands up and tells me to be quiet. I’m a first year and he is a second year analyst.
I don’t want to speak to him about it because it’s far too awkward and I don’t like confrontation. Why is this happening?
No hate but some girls on my floor are particularly loud, high pitch hurts my eardrums
Leave a package of ear plugs on his desk?
Deleted
I’m a guy
How much soy is incorporated into your daily diet? Something ot think about
Ask why. Either you're louder than you think you are or he's an asshole picking on you, you wont find out which until you ask him why he's bringing it up with you and not others. You'll need to do plenty of confrontation in your career, starting with a 2nd year analyst is a pretty easy first step even though it may seem daunting.
If you haven't already, genuinely ask yourself is the amount of talking you do comparable to others and do you talk at the same volume. Plenty of people aren't self-aware of how loud they are and how much crap they talk, and will get defensive about this when it's brought up as it's their basis for "normal".
Perhaps. But I’ve been here for 6 months and there have been times where I was told to speak up a little during Zoom meetings or if we were in the office. I might just man up and talk to him. It’s so weird how he does it, I’ve never dealt with a weirdo like this. I remember I was talking to my VP, I asked him a question and this clown walks by my desk, stops and tells me to be quiet. A few seconds of staring and awkward silence and he goes back to his desk. I think he is just weird and people don’t call him out. VP looked a bit annoyed but didn’t say anything either.
It sounds like he could be on the spectrum and may be more sensitive to sound than most people... based on how he is asking you "in a weird way" with no emotion. either that or he's just messing with you.
This really isn't that big of a confrontation, if anything it's a clarification and I wouldn't worry about it. Let's say this guy's name is John, you're not going into a room and saying "Hey John you asshole why the fuck are you always telling me to shut up?", it's a simple "John, I've noticed you have asked me a few times to stop talking but haven't asked other members of the team, just want to check am I speaking to loudly or frequently? I want to make sure I'm not annoying you or other members of the team". Then sense check this by asking the VP "John has asked me several times to stop talking, I just want to make sure I'm not annoying you or other members of the team by talking too much or too loudly?".
Are you the only person that's an analyst in the office?
No, there are 4 of us.
Break the ice by showing him this clip. If he’s receptive, let him know you’re as frustrated af as Ryohei here:
wtf is this
To be honest, it sounds like he's a bully that thinks you're an easy target.
Would straight up ask him why he only tells you to be quiet. Unless he has a great reason, would retaliate as far as you can without getting fired.
E.g., If he has a s/o, would send him a bunch of late night sketchy texts/pictures in a way that the girl thinks it's another girl (have female friends do this as well) and spread rumors that he's cheating on them.
This is vile. I love it.
Use your elbow to bash his fucking nose in. When he falls to ground, grab him by his hair and tilt his head back, so the blood flowing out of his nose backs up into his throat. Make sure at least one other employee sees this. You will never be told to "be quiet" again, mark my words.
I could do this. However, this douchebag is an amputee. He only has one arm and is half-blind. Is it not frowned upon in professional environments to assault people with missing body parts?
in that case I wouldn't confront him. he has it bad already. just maybe really talk less and work more.
haha, this has to dox you to your group, right? How many amputees are out here telling people to be quiet?
Or go to the office
What area of the country are you located in? In LA, where I am based, I have pulled off this maneuver 2x and received a standing ovation both times.
For added effect, poke him in his one good eye, and punch him in his stump afterwards,
Lol I’m somewhere in Arkansas. I think he’s a product of insest. He is from Appalachia originally and has that inbred look.
Take a steamy one on his desk to show dominance.
I wouldnt overthink this. Just call firmly call him out on it. Really question him as to why he does it and why specifically does he single you out. I understand you don't like confrontation, but most don't so you can use this to your advantage. When you directly/assertively call people out on their shit, they're much less likely to give you problems afterwards.
You ever considered you’re just an annoying person?
Just be objective. Speak at a lower tone and less than everyone else and if you are sure you are not disturbing more than the rest, just grab him one day in private and tell him: "what the fuck is wrong with you, asshole. Next time you tell me to shut up I will shut you up with my fist in your face"
He seems like a weirdo though... lol I love to pick on all these beta weenie babies
He doesn't even sound annoyed or angry with me. He just calmly stands up and tells me to be quiet. I'm a first year and he is a second year analyst.
Just be quieter. HTH
If you are a first year analyst you shouldn't be talking in the office anyway - "when you are swimming through a river of shit, don't open your mouth."
I bet you are the least liked VP in your office.
Your powers of sarcasm detection are ... lacking
Sounds like this guy is a sigma and you're just a beta tbh
Ask one of the associates or maybe even younger VPs if you think your talking is too distracting expressing that you've only received feedback from that analyst.
This helps in a couple ways. Firstly you may be loud and by asking you're signaling that you're trying to improve as a coworker. Secondly the analyst may be a complete asshat which most associates or VPs wouldn't mind hinting at if they tell you not to worry.
The analyst doesn't determine your bonus. Associates and up do. So focus on getting them to like you.
Do you guys not know how to speak up for yourselves nowadays?
As someone whose been a bitch about this (not at work)- simply move your desk somewhere else and explain to your manager what’s happening
When I was an intern in a lower MM, had this wax dummy on my table. Then MD one day just randomly took it. At first thought he was joking but turns out he just wanted to take it. I literally told him to "fuck off".
I know this guy who worked in the same bank, different group. This guy is a classic example of perfunctory background checks run by banks as he was in jail for 2 years. Let's call him Doe.
Doe was doing this boutique bank internship and his Associate thought driving from Cali to Arizona and leave him there without answering his call or telling him wtf happened was funny. Ended up beating the shit out of said Associate. He didn't go to jail this time.
I was expecting him to be some 45 year old bald dude in the accounting department. If he's a fellow analyst I'd tell him to sit down and shut his mouth. Actually, I'd probably still tell him to do that if he was on an accounting team.
Honestly, I'd get a feel of the room and find out if the other analyst find me talking irritating. I'd tell the guy to invest in a pair of noise cancelling headphone or deal with it. Welcome to the open office designed to encourage collaboration and save space.
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