38 Comments
 

Be my guest if you want to waste your time trying to find the application portal (spoiler alert: theres none) or pestering their people on LinkedIn. For this one you need to go through the HH they've hired for the job. If they have outsourced to a HH it's because they don't see value in managing the hiring internally. If the HH hasn't reached out to you yet, it's probably for a good reason... You're such a smart ass, aren't ya ?

 

Be my guest if you want to waste your time trying to find the application portal (spoiler alert: theres none) or pestering their people on LinkedIn. For this one you need to go through the HH they've hired for the job. If they have outsourced to a HH it's because they don't see value in managing the hiring internally. If the HH hasn't reached out to you yet, it's probably for a good reason... You're such a smart ass, aren't ya ?

Great thing about real estate, and London is that it's such a small market that many people will have done deals with the principals in their previous guises such that an opening email gets you far.

I sense I touched a nerve 

 

They've no principals, it's basically 2 partners, 3 analysts and ops people. You crack me up 🤣

 

Sure, pestering the partners with your "introductory" email will get you the job, see you at Tokoro pal, enjoy the ride 🤣. Wonder if people would like to work with you again with this poor attitude you have. What value do you get shitposting on this forum aside of sounding like a total ass ? 

 

Sure, pestering the partners with your "introductory" email will get you the job, see you at Tokoro pal, enjoy the ride 🤣. Wonder if people would like to work with you again with this poor attitude you have. What value do you get shitposting on this forum aside of sounding like a total ass ? 

You sound unhinged. Is this how you behave under a high pressure environment? 

 

Calling a forum where everyone is anonymous a high pressure environment ? Please, keep your jokes coming 🤣🤣 what a 🤡

 

Calling a forum where everyone is anonymous a high pressure environment ? Please, keep your jokes coming 🤣🤣 what a 🤡

I mean, if you're using a freaking clown emoji, you obviously have never actually worked a full time job, let alone a high pressure one.

As a rule of thumb, the only people who use those things are teenagers.

 

What have you smoked ? Believing that there's a correlation between the use of emojis on a forum and having experience working full-time and under high pressure. You and the other bozo should have your own clown duo 🤡🤡

Just saw that you've got >30,000 bananas >3,000 shits...clearly your full-time job is this forum. Sorry if I decide to have some fun at your workplace but not all of us come here to be under-pressure hoarding bananas like you.

 

What have you smoked ? Believing that there's a correlation between the use of emojis on a forum and having experience working full-time and under high pressure. You and the other bozo should have your own clown duo 🤡🤡

Just saw that you've got >30,000 bananas >3,000 shits...clearly your full-time job is this forum. Sorry if I decide to have some fun at your workplace but not all of us come here to be under-pressure hoarding bananas like you.

Who hurt you? 

 

Definitely not his pathetic comeback phrase.

Your creativity seems to be at the level of your despair to recruit. Going around the forum trying to find potential firms for your "introductory" emails. Which is not a bad idea, desperate but not bad. But what's really pathetic is that you were trying to brag about it and now you find yourself your wasting time responding to my trolling. 

This dead market is definitely bringing the best out of human beings.

 
Most Helpful

Definitely not his pathetic comeback phrase.

Your creativity seems to be at the level of your despair to recruit. Going around the forum trying to find potential firms for your "introductory" emails. Which is not a bad idea, desperate but not bad. But what's really pathetic is that you were trying to brag about it and now you find yourself your wasting time responding to my trolling. 

This dead market is definitely bringing the best out of human beings.

Jokes on you, look what just landed in my inbox.

Dear Associate 1 - Comm

Thank you for your introductory email, it's great to hear from you. Your email couldn't have come at a more opportune moment as we are hiring. Even though we don't have an application portal (good luck to the fools who look for it) and have a recruiter acting as our impenetrable gatekeeper, we would be prepared to make an exception and deviate from our highly rigid, non-negotiable recruitment policy and would gladly accept your application. 

Can you come in for an interview next week? Make sure you do your research on culture, comp, AUM and performance to impress the partners, 3 analysts and ops people. 

Kind regards

Partner (aka Principal) 

 

What have you smoked ?

A few things in my time, why do you ask?

Believing that there's a correlation between the use of emojis on a forum and having experience working full-time and under high pressure. You and the other bozo should have your own clown duo 🤡🤡

I know that there is a high correlation between use of emojis and professionalism.  I guess your local Burger King is high pressure and full time, but I thought it would be obvious from context that wasn't what I meant.

If you want a job in one of the industries represented on these forums, I strongly recommend not emailing your boss and including a clown emoji at the end.

Just saw that you've got >30,000 bananas >3,000 shits...clearly your full-time job is this forum. Sorry if I decide to have some fun at your workplace but not all of us come here to be under-pressure hoarding bananas like you.

How could you have fun at my workplace?  That doesn't even make sense.

And one cannot "hoard" bananas, to my knowledge?  Not really sure how that's supposed to be a burn...

 

Ea dicta id necessitatibus dolorem. Est hic quis beatae odio. Asperiores assumenda deleniti repellat.

Esse nihil perferendis placeat suscipit aut officiis. Aut impedit ut excepturi enim in repellendus. Vitae optio neque totam consectetur nam recusandae.

Et velit temporibus sapiente occaecati ipsam ipsum et explicabo. Quidem hic sit autem adipisci. Porro eos in vero quas adipisci illo tempore.

 

Magnam sed voluptas quis. Culpa provident quia laborum voluptas commodi voluptatem aut.

Ut eius est molestiae voluptatum commodi. Ea beatae quas mollitia accusantium veniam sunt. Et veniam quasi non et occaecati voluptatibus repellat.

Ducimus rerum labore quidem reprehenderit qui et sunt. Sunt aut reiciendis exercitationem magnam eaque suscipit. Quia explicabo facilis deleniti harum. Eos necessitatibus maiores et et porro deserunt. Quis modi dolores non est.

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.2%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.3%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (44) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (78) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (72) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
10
Mimbs's picture
Mimbs
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”