Hey guys I will be applying to spring weeks soon and would appreciate any and all criticism of this draft of my Cover letter.
EDIT: New Letter- http://docdro.id/YnxEe69
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Bump
Ok I'm just going to stop reading at "Inside Job" -- don't mention something that makes the investment banking industry look terrible in your cover letter
Yeah I realized that. I have already removed it from my letter.
Giving this one final bump. Any more advice would be appreciated
I feel like it's too long, nobody really reads these so I would save your "story" for the interview itself: second and fourth paragraph smell too much like bullshit in my opinion.
Alright thanks for the insight. In the second para I think I will remove the bit about the Model UN and instead elaborate more on the deal the bank conducted that I have mentioned (or do you feel I should just delete those two sentences and not replace them with anything in order to cut the length?)
As for the fourth para my intention was to project how my previous experience working in a team aligns with the team and people-oriented culture at the bank. I will try improving the wording of that so it seems less bullshit than it is. If you have any suggestions for the same I'd appreciate it.
I think you already address the whole teamwork thing in one sentence in your last paragraph, and in your second paragraph. Generally, I would just cut the fourth paragraph entirely, and slim down the second paragraph.
In the second paragraph I would cut the book thing. I think the model UN experience is relevant. But I think you can cut the second sentence on the model UN stuff.
You could also pay https://www.thelobby.io/</a">these guys ~$60 to get your cover letter and resume into shape before you start to apply
Alright I'll look into it. Thanks for the tip.
Sure thing
If you don't mind would you be willing to review my resume? I'll PM it to you if you have the time.
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