Curious if anyone has made a big change in their life or career that has led to a substantial increase in their happiness (i.e., full-blown career change, lifestyle change, moving to a new city, working from home, finding a new hobby, spending more time with friends / family, starting a side hustle, etc.). Feel like I’ve been seeing quite a bit of negativity / unhappiness on the platform recently – people feeling stuck, not enjoying the work they do or their coworkers, maybe quiet quitting or actually quitting. Would love to hear stories of anyone who has made it through the lows and how they reached a place in their life now where they are genuinely content.
I can start by saying I hit rock bottom during my traditional 2-year IB stint. Extremely long hours, terrible bosses, never seeing the sun, never getting enough sleep, the whole 9 yards. Completely lost my sense of self and purpose in the midst of it and ended up quitting early to travel for a few months before the next gig. People would say in college something like “if you can sweat it out 2 years in IB, you’ll be happy on the flipside where the grass is greener in private equity”. And to some extent, this is true. When I eventually came back to working full-time and entered a new private credit job, the benefits were clear – less hours (usually), you get to use some intelligence / do work that seems to matter more than pushing logos around, and for the most part nicer people overall. However, the excitement of the new job and the thrill of making a little bit better salary + a signing bonus quickly faded over the next few months. I was back in the wheel of showing up to an office full of people I didn’t want to talk to and doing work all day every day which I didn’t want to do. Today, a year and a half later, I’m in the midst of leaving the industry altogether to start a business. Figure I’ll take my chances and control my own destiny while I have the opportunity to do so, and while I’m not golden handcuffed to my current job. Wouldn’t say I’m anywhere close to a point where I can say I’m fully content with where I’m at, probably more nervous to try something new and different more than anything, but I know deep down I’m headed in the right direction.
If anyone has a success story or has found a way to their own happiness out there, I’d love to hear it and I’m hoping it will help others on the platform in similar situations as well. Also, feel free to private message me to bounce stories, thoughts, advice, etc. anytime. Hope everyone’s staying strong out there!
Based on the most helpful WSO content, it's clear that many individuals have found happiness and fulfillment by making significant changes in their lives or careers. Here are a few success stories and insights that align with the experiences shared by users on the platform:
Transitioning to a Less Demanding Job: Similar to your experience, a user shared how moving from an 80-hour workweek in a high-stress environment to a more manageable 50-hour week with better control over their time and autonomy significantly improved their happiness. This change allowed them to invest in real estate, start side hustles, and become more creative and enthusiastic about new projects.
Pursuing Personal Passions: Another user found happiness by quitting their job to pursue hobbies and interests that they were passionate about. This bold move led to a more fulfilling and liberating life, despite the initial fear and uncertainty of leaving a secure job and moving to a new city.
Finding Work-Life Balance: One user emphasized the importance of maintaining a simple life, focusing on work during the weekdays, and dedicating weekends to spending time with friends and family. This approach helped them manage stress and find happiness despite long workdays.
Starting a Business: Like you, another user decided to leave the industry to start their own business. While the journey was nerve-wracking, they felt that taking control of their destiny and pursuing something they were passionate about was the right direction for them.
Embracing New Challenges: A user shared their experience of leaving a high-paying job that they hated for a role that offered new learning opportunities and challenges. This change not only improved their happiness but also led to a more satisfying career path.
These stories highlight that happiness and fulfillment often come from making significant changes, whether it's transitioning to a less demanding job, pursuing personal passions, finding work-life balance, starting a business, or embracing new challenges. It's about finding what works for you and taking the leap to pursue it.
Sources: How Many of You Are Actually Happy?, Who is happy & satisfied with their current role?, Are you guys happy with life? Help me please., Female 27, 2nd thoughts during MBA, Recruiting successfully does not mean happiness
Go to therapy. Dealing with any underlying mental health problems / traumas is the most direct way to improving your well being. Even if you don’t have anything specifically to talk about, say you work a high stress job and need to find some healthy anxiety management techniques and let things go from there. You can find a therapist on ZocDoc or GrowTherapy and do a telemedicine appointment before or after work.
Separately, read “I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression” by Terrence Real (incredible book on male psychology), “Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself” by Nedra Glover Tawwab (actionable book on how to appropriately and unapologetically set boundaries), and “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Alan Singer (more philosophical than anything but makes a case for how insecurity and trauma dictates our life). The Terry Real book absolutely changed my understanding of myself, my dad, and my grandfather. It’s useful to read if only for the context it gives you into male emotional psychology.
I’ll leave you with the below quote:
- C.G. Jung
Going to therapy is that stupid thing you can do..
Movement is basically novocaine Whether it’s for a wounded heart or a wounded leg U keep going it doesn’t hurt as bad No coincidence modern therapy and medicine is trash “Sit still while we talk” “Rest so u can take this drug” I’ll just keep moving thnx tho
Sounds like you’ve decided its not a great fit for you and that’s okay.
For me and a lot of people I know, therapy did a tremendous amount of good personally and professionally. But at the end of the day, it’s up to the individual to decide if it’s worthwhile for them or not.
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I worked in the special sits arm of a MF until about 6 months ago. Work was going great and consistently got great reviews, got promoted to VP ahead of schedule and was told I’d get Principal at what would have been the end 2024. The place was seriously fucking with my happiness and mental health though, the office politics were extremely toxic and direction from senior management was incoherent and very confusing. It was very stressful (I cried one night after a lot of drinks…) and I realised I just didn’t care anymore, the place had taken away my drive which had never happened before in other tough jobs.
Moved to an RE role (I had some RE exposure from previous transactions). I’ve taken a sizeable paycut and my long term compensation will be considerably lower (I might get a few promote cheques here and there over my career, but I won’t have multiple $M DAW carry), but the lifestyle and people are a lot better. Sleep is much better, working out and exercising 5+ times a week, and I’m back pursuing interests outside of work. Realising I didn’t care anymore made me realise I’m happy at a comfortable level of earnings, and my focus after that is a job with a healthy office culture and good WLB so that I can pursue interests outside of work. For anyone who’s debating leaving the industry, I think the reality is you subconsciously know you’re not cut out for it, there’s no shame in that.
I still don't get the phrasing of "not being cut out for it". Why do we seem to phrase it as if it's a negative or a failure?
Yes I don't want to be that MD who's so immersed in work that they don't have time to spend with their kids - even though I find the work interesting and fulfilling. Oh I'm so weak and not determined!
Like wth?
I will bite. I reconnected with a girl, who I am now getting married to this June, right before I began my investment banking stint. I really enjoyed spending time with her. Subsequently, the opportunity cost of working long hours in banking rose significantly as I began to value my free time a lot more. I know, great timing right...
I lasted a little over a year in banking and made the transition to a corporate strategy and development role at a startup. My career earnings projections definitely took a dip and I wouldn't say I love my job (actually looking to leave soon), but I do love my life. I have strong friendships, time to learn on the side, really fun hobbies, I take great care of my health (exercising frequently and getting enough sleep), am able to look after my family and little brother and spend time with them, and have an incredible relationship with my fiancé. She is the best and makes all of this feel seamless and easy though; finding a great partner really helps.
My expectations for what my adult life would look like has shifted significantly since college. I now want and need less than I thought I would, and I care about money a LOT less. Life is what you make of it and happiness is really expectations - reality. This solution of wanting less doesn't work for everyone, but I am very fulfilled. I am young, and thus likely naïve still, but my advice is to pursue what makes you fulfilled and gives you purpose - however you define that - with the time that we have here.
Had to get up and close my office door after reading this, didn’t want someone to walk in while my eyes were sweating
If you don't mind me asking, what was the vision you had for your life before taking the transition?
I was building my network in New York and now I am on the west coast, so where I had imagined I would be living is different. I had strong connections at a couple of smaller, but successful hedge funds and wanted to be a HF analyst. I had been in a club that managed a small portion of my school's endowment fund and had a great experience there. I grew up in a household where we lived paycheck to paycheck and money was a constant stressor. I wanted to be so successful, professionally, that I would never have to worry about any payment or purchase.
About every other month or so I will think the cliché thought - "What if..." But is really easy to romanticize unexplored paths. Every afternoon I get to spend with my fiancé, without worrying about getting called into work suddenly, is a good reminder that I made the right choice, for me.
Lmao the lack of comments in this thread is concerning. Rip
I'll bite. 5-6 years ago was attending a non-target school in a major I didn't like with a general lack of direction in what I wanted to do career-wise. This led to a heavy focus on career planning and spinning my tires which took away from my social life and general happiness during that time in college. Almost switched majors during my junior year (planned out the schedule and all). Eventually landed a consulting internship at a specialized firm which translated into a FT offer close to family + friends, which helped me escape a potentially boring or otherwise lower-paying industry job (my major is known for leading to jobs in pretty remote / generally undesirable places with very mid pay). Eventually some months in I realized while I escaped industry, I ended up at a firm that did alot of staff aug and found the work pretty boring. Got lucky during the COVID boom and switched to a strategy firm and didn't look back. Got promoted, have decent WLB for strategy consulting, and making more than I ever could've dreamed of for my yoe compared to peers in industry and my previous firm. Overall pretty happy right now and surrounded by a community / family I care about and love but could use better WLB. Also, I've noticed these online resources are great for transparency and sharing insights but exacerbate the tendency of folks to compare their outcomes to others. I would always encourage focusing on where you are now vs. where you were before - make it a you vs you instead of a you vs others comparison.
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