What's been your experience with HingeX (the premium subscription) ?
Honestly I could go to reddit for this, but I feel that site is overwhelmed with weirdos.
I recently signed up for the second time on HingeX, and I am getting a bit mad at my experience. TLDR; not getting enough matches, and I wonder if my experience is an outlier.
By way of background, I am a 33 year old south asian 5'8 guy. I would consider my looks and pictures to be at least a solid 6, as I have in the past (during undergrad / bschool, and while working full-time) gone on dates with good looking women. I am also very selective in terms of who I swipe "right" on, and so while I do get a match every now and then with a well-to-do lady, they are very rare. Plus, most of the times when I match, I don't get a response, but I am not complaining about that.
I recently signed up for the second time for a weekly HingeX subscription (the one that starts at C$35 / week or ~C$70 / month), and what I have noticed is on the first day of my subscription, I get a match, but then my matches for the entirety of my subscription just magically dry up. Doesn't make a lot of sense TBH. I understand the motive of these apps is to keep you hooked, but I was feeling slightly frustrated at this app, and I thought I'd come to WSO to learn how other ppl's experience with HingeX has been.
PS - I am not an incoming analyst in IB, as you can probably tell from my age. If this persists, I might resort to more bolder actions like asking women, whom I run into in passing during my trips to park / coffee shop, out on a date lol
I think you somewhat answered your own question by acknowledging how the apps are designed to work. It probably happens to most guys.
Years ago I used Match premium service. The user goes from a small # of matches and views using the free service to a good number of views and a bit more matches. Then, the user will decide, "meh, this is still not giving good enough results to justify the premium cost" so the user goes back to the free edition, at which point the algorithm eliminates all of your views, making it a pointless experience unless you sign up again for premium. The WORST thing you can do on the apps is pay for the premium service and then go back to the free service--you'll be purposely put into dating app purgatory by the algorithm.
Dating apps are horrible for men. Get off them and get out into the real world, unless you are a 9/10 in the looks department and over 6'.
You said you understood how apps work, to keep you paying.
You also said you’re 5’8’’ and a 6/10 in looks.
I mean most women filter out anyone below 5’10’’ so you’re going to be fighting an uphill battle online. If you’re south Asian, just bite the bullet, call up Sima Auntie and send her your bio data!
I feel like paying for dating apps is a scam. If what you want is an actual LTR, data shows you're much better off trying to meet someone IRL in most cases (don't know where/how you live, maybe that's not a common opportunity for you). To be frank, your profile by way of the stats (asian, 5'8) is according to these companies on avg. going to have the lowest match ratio of all men when organized in terms of race & height. So if we want to analyze this from the % chance of a successful outcome (defined as just getting matches in the first place), you would be paying for what the company readily admits would be the lowest quantity range of outcomes their product is known to produce over the XXX million/billion data points they've collected. Sure keep shooting your shot on the free version, but paying just seems dumb just knowing what these online dating companies readily publicize in terms of their effectiveness. Probably better off spending a bit more and trying to find new hobbies where you get to interact with other people over a common interest.
Edit: To the people msing and messaging this is Asian hate, it's not. It's supported by both quantitative data from the app providers themselves and self-reported data from surveyors, making this objectively the worst range of potential ROIs available to the OP. Sources: NPR, UChicago, WaPo, CBC
Recently, I saw I think a YouTube video explaining the obsession with height (specifically 6') on dating apps in the U.S. The video was explaining that 6' is a totally arbitrary # because it's nice and clean. In much of Europe, there is no height obsession around 6' because in cm it's a totally random number (182.88 cm). 181 or 180 (can't remember which one) is your "golden number" to success, so around 5'10 or 5'11". In other words, America's obsession with being 6 feet is a function of our use of imperial units. In reality, it's not a magic # to attraction.
Girls want to be with a guy in the 666 club: 6 feet, 6in, 6 figures.
I always hear Asian dudes have trouble on dating apps, but honestly from my / other friends' experiences it's been alright? Most of us are not particularly good looking (I'd give myself a 7/10 on my best day), and it's probably 50/50 6+ feet vs less (I'm in the latter category). Unless you have a dogshit profile, are in an absolute dating desert, or are shooting for women way out of your league (looks, finances, age, or something else) it should be possible to pick up some matches.
Before I started dating my SO (who I met on Hinge, funnily enough) I was matching + talking enough to get to do 3-4 dates a week, if I wanted it. I had to make a spreadsheet to keep track of the dates. My buddy who was on the apps around the time and is a handsome fuck was up to morning, afternoon, and dinner/evening dates, and just saving the last slot for the chick he wanted to sleep with.
Yeah I play badminton. I am pretty good at it, but no hot woman playing it. lol Tennis seems to be pretty popular, but I ain't going to start from 0 to meet women.
Thinking about taking painting and / or cooking classes.
You just like to brag to the women (or guys if that’s what you’re into) that you’re really good with a shuttlecock.
The apps are hard, especially if you're not a really good looking guy. If you're in a medium to big sized city and not getting matches, it doesn't really matter how many you can see because you're not getting many swipes to begin with. I would recommend keeping them and using from time to time, as I know tons of people that have met on them (I think almost all were Hinge) but you do need to have other avenues.
If you want some stats. I have a friend who met his spouse on hinge and they live in a medium sized city, but she was like his 50th date from the apps and it was probably a 2 year process, so he went on a first date just about every other week.
Explore all avenues, even different apps. I've found apps to be helpful and I'm not much taller than OP. Think peoples experience differ based on which app, location, the individual and photos you use etc. Real life interactions may help as well as others have mentioned.
I'd pro forma adjust that height a little (5'10). I've never seen a girl pull out a measuring tape and measure someone's height. Once they see you in person, they know you as "taller," "shorter," or "roughly same height"
Lol I thought about that, but my conscious didn’t permit. I have myself as 5’9 actually on the app. But there is a clear difference between a 5’8 and 5’10.
I would imagine that most ppl do lie about their heights. As you said, nobody is coming there with a measuring tape.
as an anecdote, I saw this hot Turkish girl on the app, whom Funnily enough I’d also seen in passing at the club, where I play racquet sports. B***tch can barely hold a squash racquet but wrote confidently on the app that she’d brag to her friends if you (the guy) can beat her in squash. Even a total retard in squash would have this woman running like a monkey all across the court
she likely knows. the inches from 5'6 to 6 ft in height are basically as noticeable as the inches down south.
Dating apps were great. Just download them all. I met my now wife through tinder right as I was about to uninstall it because all of my awesome dates had been coming in via Bumble.
To answer the question at hand - I recently moved to a Tier I city from NYC and signed up for HingeX after about a week, mostly to meet new people. I used Hinge pretty frequently in NYC, have been on probably ~a dozen dates and would get matches fairly consistently.
As soon as I got HingeX I noticed the woman I was being shown - and matching with / being liked by - were consistently hotter, including some I honestly thought were close to out of my league. I definitely felt a difference in both velocity and quality. Been on ~1 date per week since I moved to the new city but could've been a lot more if I was better about responding etc. Unlimited likes is a pretty nice feature as well.
I'm pretty sure the way it works is that HingeX gives you a higher "elo" / rating so you are shown to more and higher-rated women. Additionally, I think it moves you up in the match queue so you show up in their likes sooner. Hence the higher velocity and quality.
Stats: 6'4, fairly fit, 7/10 looks-wise on a good day
What does 7/10 even mean, Name drop some celebrity you look like
Your problem is that on apps especially in major cities is that there are hundreds, if not thousands of people just like you (high paid white collar professional). To girls who get hundreds of likes, you are just one of many. I'll be honest, the height doesn't help. So unless you are 10/10 looks with that background, it's going to be rough. So you need something that will differentiate you from others if you are going to stick with the apps, ideally with your first picture.
You're Canadian and South Asian. Use Dil Mil bro. Hottest girls on there are almost always from Canada or the UK rather than in the States. If you live in Toronto / Vancouver and into brown chicks, you're arguably in the best dating locations in N.A. by sheer numbers.
I’m not in brown chicks lol nor am I into Asian. No offence to anyone. I’m into girls from middle earth or just Caucasian
God this kind of attitude is annoying. If you don’t find people of your own race attractive why should you expect anyone to be into you? You got the same features.
my guy is into hobbits
My guy, I know the struggle of having problems on using dating apps. I tried the apps for ~2 years with no luck, probably went on 25ish first dates in that time period of which 1/3 of those went to 2-3 dates. Eventually they all fizzled out, a lot of girls would ghost. I'd probably say I'm a 6/10, 7/10 if I'm in good shape and have been consistent with gym / running for 2+ months.
After 2 years of going nowhere, I started getting more serious about wanting to get married. I got pretty involved in church and was able to meet a lot of people where I met my now wife. Meeting organically helped me in a lot of ways that we had mutual friends that could vouch for us. Before we started dating I also organized hangouts and parties that I'd invite her and other friends to which allowed us to become friends before dating. It's also a big alpha move to organize parties to invite friends to, girls like a guy that organizes these types of things.
My wife had never used dating apps and said she only wanted to meet her husband organically. I know plenty of other women that are not interested in using dating apps either. These are the ones you'll have the best luck with cause you don't have to compete with thousands of guys for their attention. Research shows that men are much more likely to use dating apps. My point here is there's a lot of guys you're competing with for a very small market share in terms of compatible women.
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-who-where-and-why-o…).
On Hinge specifically, apparently only ~1/3 of hinge users are women. That's a pretty tough market to compete in.
https://thematchartist.com/hinge/what-is-male-female-ratio-hinge/#What-…
I know it's time consuming but I'd recommend trying to join a club or organization that interest you where you can meet new people organically. It's going to take time and you'll have to be patient in making friends and meeting people but will definitely be worth it. These things don't happen overnight. Good luck, stay strong, and be patient.
I did apps for a while too, and social media in general. Most women are after that 6-6-6/lifestyle of the luxury type. I had more luck and more smiles from women meeting in person and organically.
Church is obviously a fantastic way to do it -- what are the best orgs / clubs you'd recommend for meeting quality girls? When I say quality I'm not even talking in terms of attractiveness (i.e. 9 out of 10), just a solid 7/10 with a good personality & good values
"You are invited to join the NEW Young Adult Group here at St. Patrick's Cathedral! All young adults in their 20s, 30s and *40s* are welcome, yes 40’s welcome! We will attend the 5:30 p.m. Mass, followed by a wine reception on the patio, or a bar hop to Connolly’s nearby. This event will happen every 1st and 3rd Sunday of the month!"
https://saintpatrickscathedral.org/youngadult
So, to add to OP -
1. Meet organically if you can.
2. Dress nicer/workout/stay in shape/eat healthy. Women will notice this.
3. Join clubs/socials where people meet or an activity you enjoy. I had met someone before when we were at a fundraiser.
I get a lot of matches, but the women are batshit crazy, so you end up wasting a lot of time & money. Tbh OP, it’s better to just try to meet women in person. 90% of the women on that app only go after the top 20% of Men on there.
Don’t know why I’m getting MS, I’m trying to be empathetic. Lmfao 😂 some of you are really down bad on this app.
Always love reading losers online talking about how unfair the apps are to men, and how the only way to date is in-person. Dont get me wrong, its nice to have a social life healthy enough where there are inperson options, but to act like online is a no win zone is flat out wrong.
Im far from a model, but can get 1k+ hinge matches in a month. Key is yes you have to hit a certain looks threshold, but you also have to know how to build a profile and sell yourself. Most men are losers in that regard, double so for a lot of guys here who think career compensates for everything else. Also dont pay for premium on these apps talk about a scam.
Send me pics of your profile OP and I can help you out. Feel free to blur your face out if you want to.
Have some compassion brother, these fellas are just looking for some advice and direction, no need to be so harsh
1K matches per month means you have extremely low standards or swipe on everyone - not something worth bragging about.
Nah not at all. Actually very high standards. Probably 1 in a dozen or so were a right swipe. Would definitely have to have all of the above:
- thin/fit
- college educated
- real career
- attractive enough face
Haha if you’re swiping right on 1k people on a dating app in a month, you’re for sure the loser
what can I say, the self esteem boost from hundreds of chicks messaging you at once is something that is difficult to replicate
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