advise on cover letter for prop trading application

attached a sample cover letter for prop trading. Would be really helpful if anyone could give feedback and comments in general. Not a lot of advice out there on writing cover letter for such jobs.

 
Best Response

Way too long, and hard on the eyes. You seriously need paragraph breaks, and 3/4 paragraphs max. I would also look at putting in bullet points if I were you (my personal preference). All in all this reads pretty poorly, English isn't your first language (I hope) right? Your use of a thesaurus kills me, yes it's good to use smart words but you went overboard. You seriously need to start again from the beginning. I'll breakdown a couple parts for you to give you an idea of what's wrong with this cover letter:

"I'm interested in applying for the role of a Junior Trader at Flow Traders as I see it as an opportunity to explore and build up on my interest in trading and gain experience in financial markets at one of the best trading firms globally which provides an excellent platform and a positively competitive environment consisting of ambitious and achievement oriented peers"

  • First of all this is a run on sentence

  • Are you interested in applying or are you applying? Poor wording choice here.

  • What is a positively competitive environment?

  • My personal preference is that you should leave talking about the firm to a minimum. Does flow trades offer an excellent platform? Would you even know? I read a decent amount of resumes every year for my bank and it always makes me laugh at the shit people come up with for my firm... a lot of "I didn't know we were the best bank in the world with incredible people who will go out of the way to make you succeed"

  • Really it should be something like:

"I'm applying for the role of Junior Trader at Flow Traders as I believe it would be a great fit given my interest in trading, my desire to gain experience within the world of financial markets, and my ambition of working in a competitive environment surrounded by successful and like-minded peers.

Also you use way to many buzz-word. The real skill of business writing is not writing fancy bullshit, it's about bearing clear and concise, this is somethign so many people struggle with. The following sentence is complete BS:

"In addition to that experience, by using my inquisitive nature and preplanned working methodology, I strengthened my ability to conduct in-depth analyses and solving and ambiguous problems through excellent performances in academic courses in an extremely rigorous academic environment at . "

  • Ignoring the grammatical errors, this part is literally 1 sentence of very simple information, it's a complete fluff piece. It should read "I performed well in University due to hard work and an innate interest in learning."
 

Hi! Were you finally able to draft your cover letter successfully? And, does Flow Trader shortlist candidates on basis of cover letter or whosoever submits the application(CV+cover letter) gets the chance to appear for numerical ability test?

 

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