Anyone else struggling a lot during internships???

I’m an intern at a BB in sales & trading and so far my experiences has been horrible. I’m a junior and I interned at the same bank in s&t as a sophomore and ah great experience. This year it seems like none of the desks actually like me and I’m not a great fit. It feels like all my mentors and other desks have given up on me. From last year I knew I wanted something fast paced but everyone feels I would be better suited to a slow project based seat. I just don’t understand why people who don’t even know me feel like they can predict my whole career. It seems like desks just dismiss after a conversation or two. I don’t think I’ll get a job and I spent everyday struggling with depression. All I want to do is lay in bed and not see anyone or do anything. This weekend I’m think of ending it all because of how badly my life is going. I don’t want to show up for work on Monday let alone finish this internship knowing how badly it’ll end. I just don’t want to see the end of it because I know how badly it will all end.

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Bro most people can barely remember what they did last week.  Finish it out. You can put sales and trading internship on your resume which is legit(most Americans can't even graduate from college let alone land a wallstreet internship).  If you don't get an offer in a few months this will be in the rear mirror.  The people that "gave up" on you wont even remember you.   You can recruit and you will get interviews later once this boils over.  

 

I wrote this in bathroom at work I was sober maybe if less people like you worked in this industry people would actually enjoy their job

 

Hang in there

These internships are structured in a stupid way imo. It's a 10 week interview, but people forget that interviews are tiring and stressful as fuck. 10 weeks of that and in the end you hate everything.

I'd focus on the job. Try to picture if you would like to do what those people are doing, If you find it interesting and fun. If yes and you think it's worth pursuing it, don't let other people tell you what you can or cannot do. No one knows shit - not about the markets, themselves and let alone other people.

If you don't like it, fuck it. Enjoy your paid summer and then find something else to do later in life. You don't need to be in S&T to be happy - money and career success are overrated honestly. Stick with family, friends and good experiences.

Btw, are you in fixed income?

 

Don't stress it either way. If you don't get a ft offer you will get a bunch of interviews just by having a top BB internship on your resume. Also, it's shitty to think about life this way but you can't count on others to believe in you... it's not their job either. Ultimately, you need to focus on what you can control. Just go in every day with a good attitude and do a good job. A buddy of mine (who thought he was screwed) secured an offer with a solid desk literally the 2nd to last day of his S&T internship so just keep grinding away. The internships are dumb and everyone has ups and downs. 

 

Dude, this is a short term problem. You'll be be done with it soon and, offer or not, you'll have a great name on your resume.

Regarding interviewing other places, just have a good attitude, don't shit-talk your old firm/the people and just say it ultimately didn't seem like a great fit.

Also, you got return offer after sophomore year -- you tell people that, it implies you're competent.

Don't sweat it -- because you're there every day, it seems like it's your entire world, but when job's over, you'll realize that it's not.

Last thing, and this is the most practical advice: ask one of your mentors (or former mentors) if they've got 5 minutes to talk after work one day... and tell them, in a nice way, what you just said to us: things seemed good last year, you were in a rhythm, you think you were well-liked... but they seem different this year. Ask what areas he/she thinks you can work on, and then spend the last 2-3 weeks... this can't be anything but a good thing because (a) maybe you'll improve, and (b) even if you don't, they'll respect you for approaching them and trying to improve.

Lastly, stop putting so pressure on yourself. This job isn't the end of the world... fun fact:  the current CEO of Goldman couldn't get a job there when he applied there for an internship (or maybe it was FT position). This job is the first step in a looooong career that's going to have a lot of ups and downs. You'll learn from this experience and be better because of it. 

 

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