Recovering from Trading Career Failure

About 6-8 years ago...I lost 7mm dollars on a single trade. (while trading on a dealer desk..my official risk limit was 5mm...but i was up more than 7mm before the loss...so this put me back to about flat on the year...my avg daily PnL vol was 100-200k at the time). Was laid off shortly after that...officially for downsizing, but we all knew it was because of that loss.

Just to give some color, I was an RV rates trader and IT programmer (mostly VBA) for a couple years and had some early success on both fronts. But this time I was just long the market...the market was choppy the day before, and so I bought the dip overnight with large size (i had made more than 5mm in the previous 2 months, so I thought I'd take some risk...I realize now that I was junior in my career and didn't really know what I was doing)...and proceeded to watch the market selloff like a banshee until I got stopped out around 11am the next day for about a 7mm loss.

Was soul-crushing...my skin was pale white...heart palpitations...deer in headlights syndrome...but in hindsight also taught me the value of risk management...and the concept of a market coiling...which is followed by a large directional release. This was the painful prompt I needed to start my education in technical analysis.

I've spent the following years learning everything there was to learn about trading, price/volume action and technical analysis...learned that most of it is garbage and useless...but I've found some gems that I think can be the backbone of my trading strategy going forward. I still follow the RV stuff...and while there is less opportunity...its still there to be had from time to time (i have client account at my old BB firm, so i get access to all the market monitors and research tools).

Now that you know the short version of my story...how do I get back into the business? (i've been away for a few years). I feel I would crush it as a newbie on a desk...but those spots seem to not be for guys like me (40...yes, age-ism seems to be real).

It's strange....but I feel that as a guy with experience, I'm now ready to START my career on a BB desk...and its CRAZY to let young kids do what I did all those years ago.

Are there any others who have gone thru a similar experience?

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