25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s
1- You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
2- The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)
3-You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for a reason.
4- You’ll be jealous of everyone who’s more successful than you. That’s okay. Just transfer that jealousy into something productive, like working really hard so you can one day eclipse them and make them feel jealous of YOU.
5-You’ll question every decision you make and never feel completely certain that you made the right choice. It’s pointless to wonder though. You’re here now so you might as well make it be the right decision.
6-You’re going to give your heart to a few people who don’t deserve it. Then, one day you’ll come to your senses and ask them to give it back.
7-You’ll see your parents get older. You’ll come home during Christmas break and see new lines developing on their faces. One day it’ll just hit you that your parents are old and going to die. There’s nothing you can do about it, besides treat them with kindness and visit as much as your budget permits.
8-You’ll have a boss who makes you feel like you’re nothing. It doesn’t have to be in a Devil Wears Prada way. The cruelty can be much more subtle. Don’t let them get to you though. They have no idea who the hell you really are and you’re probably going to have their job someday so…
9-Doing drugs is fun until it’s not, until it starts affecting your life in negative ways and leaves you feeling guilty and wrecked. If that happens, you should stop doing them.
You’re going to puke in public. It’s fine. No one cares. Just puke.
10- You’re going to puke in public. It’s fine. No one cares. Just puke.
11- You’ll know how to make twenty dollars last an entire week because you spent almost all of your paycheck on groceries at Whole Foods and drunk cab rides. This lesson in frugality will serve you well.
12- You’re going to betray your convictions. You’re going to feel shame. You’re going to continue to put yourself in situations that aren’t good for you. And then, slowly but surely, it will become less frequent. It might not ever go away completely but it won’t be as bad. In the meantime, stop shame spiraling about it. It gets you nowhere.
Mod Note (Andy): Throwback Thursday - this was originally posted 7/11/2012
CONTINUED ...
13- Loving yourself is hard. Hating yourself is harder.
14- You’re going to hook up with someone who you would never touch in the daylight sober. Just don’t freak out too much about it. Consider it to be your good deed for the day.
15- You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic. They may say that they love you, they may say that they have your back, but they don’t. Get rid of them.
16- You’ll have moments with someone that are so intense, it’ll feel like you’ve been electrocuted back to life. You’ll hold on to these moments for a long time. They’ll give you hope when you’re going through the motions.
17- You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter.
18- You’ll enter your twenties as a fashion disaster and (hopefully) leave them looking fantastic. If you don’t know how to put yourself together by then, I really don’t know what to tell you.
19- You’ll realize that the Internet can be a cruel son of a bitch but, you know, www.whatever.com.
20 - So much of what you think matters doesn’t actually matter at all. It’s kind of rude. Like, thanks for making me believe in things that are ultimately so inconsequential, you jerk.
21- You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it to be a lover or your friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is that we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.
22- Doing “grown-up things” doesn’t make you a grown up. Shopping for housewares, buying a plant, embracing domesticity — these things don’t create maturity. If you’re still a baby who hasn’t figured things out, you’ll remain a baby, no matter how many times you pay your rent on time.
23- Don’t force yourself into loving anyone. If it’s not working in the beginning, it’s probably not going to work ever.
24- You are so lucky to have everything that you have. Stop crying about an unreturned text message and get some perspective.
25- Don’t go too long without having sex. Ever.
Enjoy the reading homies.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/25-things-ive-learned-in-my-twenties/
OUCH.
+1 btw..
I've experienced so many of the things you mentioned that I found there's genuine wisdom gained after those youthful experiences, starting from #1. Now I'm in my mid 20s and start thinking what kind of career I'm going to have. After I split up with my first love (he never returned my text) appx. three months ago, I felt such an intense heart break that I started dating random guys to fill in my emptiness. In retrospect, he's not worthy it.
Thx for your post. :) It showcases to me that most of my worries/embarrassment I had is actually universally common..I only hope I have read it earlier.
Honey,
never shed a tear for man who did not care or any one who hurt you. If they cared, they wouldn't treat you like sh!t.
7 and #16 will change your life.
And drugs will always be who I am, once the kids come I'll be singing a different tune I'm sure...
The rest... meh. They stopped applying by graduation.
I aged too quickly when I was younger. So sad.
Nail, meet head.
7 was the biggest for me, by far. It will blow your fuckin mind.
EXCELLENT post. i've experienced plenty of these and i'm mid twenties, pushing late twenties.
hey mods, front page?
solid post. +1
I did it in front of co-workers, my second week at a new company lol
LOL what was the outcome? SMH
LOL - nobody really cared. No high-ups were present, mainly just peers (and my manager, but he's more like a peer too).
7 and #16 +1
i should point out that your link has an American Appearal ad on the bottom that is a bit nsfw.
Is it bad that I didn't click on the link until after I read it contained an image that might not be safe for work? LOL.
Regards
You're not alone.
Great post. Gonna send this one around.
Great post, can relate to each and every point.
Yup agreed. But, that just means that you will have to hit the gym 100 X as hard as before. My dad and my grandpas both look like fucking beasts given that they are in their 50's and 70's respectively.
But you're from Canada....so you're inferior to Americans. Sorry Charlie
Amazing.
The first 10 or so I read are things that I can associate with recently. You're post is so accurate to reality it's almost unbelievable.
Some things that you mention that have hit home with me.. A) Seeing your parents get old.. sad and does put some 'pressure' on you as an individual to step your game up so you can take care of them/spend as much time with them as you can before they go..
B) Metabolism.. what a bitch this is. Yet some of my buddies still remain unaffected and have the metabolism of a 12 year old. What a bitch.
C) Drugs.. it's not like college anymore. Have one bad 'next day' experience in front of a client because of a drug binge the night before and you'll swear to have quit for life.. until the next time you decide 'it won't be a problem'.
D) Dressing.. I still have days where I struggle to find the right things in my closet
E) Grown up things.. you'll notice all these people around you (especially NYC) acting grown up and doing things that make them seem grownup.. yet they have no idea what it is to be a grown up. More than likely they have no responsibilities and are living on their parent's dime (again this is central to NYC.. especially women).
thx!
You are so on point. I think the hardest part in this whole process is when your parents get sick as they age.
My mom ages gracefully but she is having eyes problem because her incompetent doctor did not notice it or kept telling her that she was having eyes problem because she overworked herself and has fatigue.
Now all I keep thinking about is : will she be able to see my children?
I would love to take her on a trip spree. But how the heck will she see the beauty of the world if she is losing her sight. SMH.... things like that make me angry lol
Thank you guys. I am glad you enjoy the post.
yep #7 for sure. only 22 here, but recently after about 8 months of not seeing my parents I was shocked...this was the first time I ever noticed how much they aged. maybe in your teens and early college years you didn't care enough notice/think about this, but now it genuinely makes me sad to think about.
+1, solid post
7 For sure. Went and visited my parents last X-mas, my father looked so different in terms of greying / less hair. I couldn't believe it. Really hit home to me. Things I do now, I used to joke my parents about. Is it weird that I get excited when I get a Crate & Barrel magazine in the mailbox now instead of the latest issue of SI or Maxim? Weird huh.
Go tell your parents that you love them kiddos.
Kind of a depressing post...
Great post. A lot of these I had no appreciation for when I was in college, but really hit home now in my mid 20s.
It's definitely hard noticing your parents age each time you see them, and suddenly hearing about your old college buddy or girlfriend who's married now and living in suburbia is pretty jarring too.
What a coincidence - I was actually talking to a guy who just turned 30 today, and I think he'd add this one:
Don't believe people who tell you that college is the best four years of your life, or that your 20s will be the best decade of your life. Sure, enjoy them, but know that the best is yet to come.
false. high school, college...amazing...early/mid 20s - worked my ass off, but those times when I could get out and enjoy NYC - epic
afterwards, mostly down hill...
make the most of your earlier years when you really don't know what responsibility is. youth is wasted on the young...
It's different for everyone. My teenage years were miserable.
That really is a relief.
Great post! I can relate to most of these points...made me reflect on my life and put things back into perspective. Thanks for posting this! :)
Love this. I'd add that the quarter-life crisis DOES exist, and it's usually an amalgamation of a bunch of the stuff above.
7 is probably the most intense.
great post.. depressing (#7), but great nonetheless. 21 yrs old myself and can relate to a lot of these.
can we start a new forum for these threads?
i'm thinking: "Gay Bathhouse"
Could somebody please expand on # 22 for naive SOBs like me?
Jeez this has been all over fb\other forums for like years.
Hipster status.
Clearly, the forum appreciates his post, so I don't think it matters that it's been around elsewhere. I've personally never seen it. Guess I'm not cool enough
Very relevant post and I appreciate it.
I think one of the most fascinating things about this stage in life is that it is the first time many of us experience true independence. Sure, we convinced ourselves that college was us "going out into the world," but many of us were living on our parents' (or a banks') money.
At this stage I am 100 percent responsible for my own welfare, and I can't even describe the confidence that that brings--to be able to literally do whatever I want and not to answer to anyone if I don't want to. Feels good, man.
Great post. Very enlightening
How long is too long?
3, 5, and 7. Great post, thanks for sharing! +1 SB
Doing Laundry is bullshit, pay someone to do it.
Couple things to add.
First, as far as the metabolism point goes just remember, you can either eat how you want and workout how you need to or eat how you need to and workout how you want. Diet and exercise are an important part of a healthy life. For finance monkeys it's probably more about the diet since our calendars are so constrained.
Second, I wanted to share this "song" with everyone. I'm sure many of the older forum members have heard it because it was popular around the time we or our older siblings graduated. Some of the younger members may have never heard this, but the list posted by the OP reminded me of it.
Regards
call me a 22 yr old ignorant retard but i never heard this before...thank you so much for sharing...this made my day twice over....
Great video. I have seen it quite a while ago, but I wish someone had brought it to my attention 5 years ago.
i luv u
Thanks FlakieBear. This is a great read. Keep writing. =)
+1 Appreciate the post.
hey and did i add..great post..thanks for sharing +1
Great points. I am in my late twenties and experienced most of the things above. What I dread most is hitting 30 and I fear what is else I would have to go through after that. These lessons will definitely help with wise decision making.
I wish i was born today
Fellow ThoughtCatalog fan. I'm not crazy about them these days... Ryan is annoying.
Fellow ThoughtCatalog fan. I'm not crazy about them these days... Ryan is annoying.
"30's response to 25 things I've learned in my 20s".. comes off a tad bitchy at times but raises some points here and there
http://cutesox.blogspot.ca/2012/05/my-little-sister-kj-posted-this-list…
6, #17, #24, #25
^awesome and i completely agree. thank you for the list. it was truly encouraging :)
Thanks for the great post, gonna always remember these as someone just entering his 20's. Already relating with quite a few of them and they were not very pleasant.
7 is a sad reality of life, which is what's convincing me to have children earlier in order to be there for them even in their 20's. I realize that this may be very difficult as a prospective banker..
Great post. Many of these are all too familiar in my past and present. I'm sure the rest will be in the few years of my twenties that I have left
Awesome post. A lot to look forward to the next 9 years haha.
Once again, thank you guys for the silver bananas and the appreciation. I hope you don't just read this and move on. Always remember and use it to re-position yourself in life, whether it is in terms of your relationship with your parents, building new friendships and let go of old/draining one, or investing in your personal well-being.
am i the only one who is unimpressed by this advice? i would expect to see this kind of thing in a glossy chick magazine, not on a finance forum.
and just a heads up to all the illiterate maths geeks on here; this was obviously written by a woman (or a very feminine gay guy) for women. it's nice to see WSO so in touch with its feminine side.
Looks like I'm the only one thinking #21 is pretty accurate..
I learned #2 the hard way lmao
3, #7, and #21 are all very true. Great post.
10 sucks...Jaeger bombs get me everytime
Great post. Having just turned 30, I've definitely come to the realization that we go through all of these stages in your 20s. Call it maturation, perspective or time.
Loved number 24. Totally speaks to the "me' generation. Stop bitching and get on with your life. lol
Great post. Having just turned 30, I've definitely come to the realization that we go through all of these stages in your 20s. Call it maturation, perspective or time.
Loved number 24. Totally speaks to the "me' generation. Stop bitching and get on with your life. lol
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