Animal Lovers Help me Please

My Rottweiler usually sleeps in the garage so I let him in there a few minutes ago forgetting that I had placed a few mouse traps in there. The dog is still relatively young and has testicles the size of tennis balls. Apparently he was dragging those monsters too close to a trap and it snapped right on his nuts. He’s really angry right now and won’t let me get close enough to help, he already bit me really hard and I’m bleeding pretty bad.. I tried shooting him with a horse tranquilizer dart but I missed and it blue out one of the tires on my car so I can’t drive to the vet or anything. My plan right now is to have my 4 year old cousin approach it from the front to distract the dog while I sneak up behind him and club him with a tire iron. Does anybody have a better idea?

8 Comments
 

OH MY GOD......I'm almost crying right now that is so hilarious. I am sorry, it's just such a funny story. Oh man.

Seriously though, call the vet. He can probably have one of his off duty aids come by with a tranq gun or some really yummy puppy chow loaded with sleepy fun time pills.

Good times.

 

CALL ANIMAL CONTROL DUDE. Pay them to help you. That's totally inhumane to club your dog even considering the circumstances.

People tend to think life is a race with other people. They don't realize that every moment they spend sprinting towards the finish line is a moment they lose permanently, and a moment closer to their death.
 

hahahaha! 9.5 squirtz, you crack me up.

People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can't trust people Jeremy
 

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