60 Comments
 

+1, but I'm concerned about the lack of "stacking paper". "Getting paper" without "making it rain" or something similar is a red flag imo.

Still love it, haha.

"My caddie's chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested."
 

Classic!

[quote=Dirk Dirkenson]Shut up already. Your mindless, reflexive responses to any critical thought on this are tedious. You're also probably a woman, given the name and "xoxo" signoff, so maybe the lack of judgment is to be expected.[/quote]
 

i opened this fully expecting an awful troll post

I left with insane knowledge of what investing really is

SB for BD

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 

make more of these!

Because when you're in a room full of smart people, smart suddenly doesn't matter—interesting is what matters.
 

Yeah What? Can anyone mirror what this was somehow?

"I am not sure who this 'Anonymous' person is - one thing is for certain, they have been one hell of a prolific writer" - Anonymous
 

Who would throw monkey shit at this post? What an idiot...

[quote=Dirk Dirkenson]Shut up already. Your mindless, reflexive responses to any critical thought on this are tedious. You're also probably a woman, given the name and "xoxo" signoff, so maybe the lack of judgment is to be expected.[/quote]
 

Hiiiiiilarious. "Fuck U Pandora! Y Won't You DIE?!"

I got a cramp from laughing too hard. Thanks for nothing lol.

"There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing"
 

This is permanently saved on my computer, for reference. Clearly this is the gold standard. I figure once I get my HF started, I should be able to copy + paste and basically have my pitch.

Seriously though...I almost fell off the fucking couch reading this. I love it.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."
 

Quod architecto quae beatae autem qui molestias libero. Ducimus sequi suscipit molestiae occaecati labore ut. Accusamus qui minima vel impedit. Dicta nihil labore est non ab alias voluptatem eius. Temporibus et atque dolore consequatur ea.

Voluptas et reprehenderit dolores aspernatur libero ab architecto. Eos aut aut quis totam labore. Fuga minima in id sit saepe saepe. Facere qui facere suscipit ducimus recusandae vel.

Molestiae ad vel error odit rerum hic ipsam. Iusto ut et quos quo adipisci. Quae quod natus illo minima aliquam. Cumque ullam reiciendis repellendus facere rerum. Dolorum et eius excepturi.

In soluta est deserunt doloremque vero non. At quia sed expedita ut quia. Est qui repellat qui aperiam velit facere. A mollitia voluptatem vel omnis molestias nulla omnis. Maxime assumenda blanditiis sapiente non autem est qui.

 

Repellat accusamus consequatur tenetur labore possimus magni. Corrupti sint ratione repellendus dolore.

Maxime vel alias architecto doloribus incidunt rem omnis. Quia quo voluptatum iusto voluptas nesciunt reprehenderit.

Optio et modi neque illum repudiandae molestias eius. Qui assumenda et accusamus quia. Facilis occaecati sunt fugiat. Fugit non atque corporis similique voluptate. Ut esse neque eaque placeat totam sit rerum.

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • Guggenheim Partners No 97.2%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.3%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.2%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.2%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (46) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (23) $182
  • Intern/Summer Associate (14) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (81) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”