Broke up with gf can’t function
Hello, I'm just looking for some advice and to vent.
I broke up with my girlfriend of two years about two months ago due to some issues that I was going through. Our relationship was very happy and loving but she never put too much effort into it and made me feel unloved.
About a month ago we reconnected after she begged me to try again and decided to give it a chance but things went south quick. During the first week of trying again she was seeing other guys and not having any availability for me as she was going on dates (going to Netflix and chill even though she says they just watched a movie) I found about this during the second week when I checked her phone as she was being extremely cold and disconnected which was very rare for us. During the second week she came over the day after going to Netflix and chill at some guys house and told me she didn't want to try again anymore.
I stuck around two weeks after that since we kept talking and hanging since I still have a lot of feelings for her but at this point I just think she sees me as a backup choice. She kept always giving me mixed signals that she still loves me in some ways or that she really loves spending time with me but that she also doesn't want to hang out much with me and wants to be alone. She keeps asking for some time till she figures out what she wants telling me that maybe in the winter she will want to date again….
Anyways all of this has broken me like never before and I can't function. I laid in bed for weeks just crying and having no energy to even workout or do anything. She seems very happy going out clubbing and partying which are things she would never do with me even when I begged her to have fun with me.
I just feel very heart broken and gutted and I can't stop thinking about her and other guys. I truly love her I just needed a break due to some internal issues I was having, I never figured that she would just move on after a month and be this fucked up. It's been a week since I talked to her but I still can't function. I have missed almost all of my training and I have no desire to do much. I'm trying to work on myself again and started slowly working on regaining my routine (managed to workout this week).
I'm just so lost on how to move on and heal, my self confidence which is normally high has been destroyed especially since we had a lot of sex issues in our relationship (had sex one every two months) but here she is happy to hump guys from tinder. It's not like I'm a bad looking guy and I'm probably even in better shape than when we first started dating. At this point I just felt like she ever truly loved me and I wasted two years and fell in love for someone who could give 0 fucks about me. She shows no remorse for what she has done and just treats me like pure shit since hence why I had to block her out of my life.
Sorry for the long rant this is just probably my first real serious relationship and I'm just shattered. I spent every minute with her and I just don't know how to be alone nor get over what she has done. I tried fucking other girls but at the end of the day that just makes me feel worse same with dating other girls. I know i need alone time to heal and move on but idk how.