Can I succeed as a really socially awkward person on Wall Street/Big Law?

In the long run, it will be more of a problem than in the short run as many of these jobs are sales jobs at the higher level. A lot of it depends on whether you are socially awkward because you’re young and you will grow out of it or if you are just inherently socially awkward and it’s not fixable.

I think there’s a big line here and without meeting you it’s tough to figure out where you fall. Are you just socially awkward or do you lack social skills? Are you able to converse with people in general you just sometimes slip and say the wrong thing or get uncomfortable? If you’re just a little socially awkward you’ll do fine in banking I found that the larger majority of people were socially awkward but if there’s some more to it then you should try to break the habit. Try joining a toastmasters or something like that, you’ll be able to give yourself confidence with speaking in public and to people.

I would say it more depends on what you go into rather than a broad spectrum of finance. If you became a quant, for example, you would probably do better than a job which requires more social skills. At a junior level it probably won't matter that much as although you won't be able to network and shoot shit / enjoy time with colleagues essentially as long as you do the work well all is good. At a higher level interpersonal skills become a lot more important in job progression and if people buy side / sell-side / seniors don't want to talk/work with you then your career will stumble.

If you are interested in finance-related careers but just don't know which segment then there is definitely something for you.

The massive caveat in my analysis above is that if you are an absolute rockstar demon demi-god who will just make money for people then it will not matter at all.

It sounds to me like you will struggle with the interview part. Interviews are about showing competence and then your sociability to get along with the team and for them to want to work with you. You can be passable on the skills part, but great in the sociability part and get the position. It is much harder to kill the technical part, but be barely passable sociable and get the position; at least anecdotally from what I've seen.

Luckily enough, both are improvable! Network, network, network! Get comfortable with those kinds of people that you'll be around. Go on more dates. Learn to talk to different people of different backgrounds and learn failure.

Best of luck!

In my opinion, there are two main routes you could go:

1) Become less socially awkward. This means getting out of your comfort zone, talking to strangers, networking, etc. I think you should consider taking classes on public speaking, social anxiety, and relationship building, as these can be very beneficial (this is what Warren Buffett did to become a more sociable person).

2) Work in a field/career that does not require sociability. Go into jobs where you are not required to network, close deals, and constantly speak with others. This would mean a more quantitative route, and likely would keep you from ever becoming CEO/top-brass, but if you are not naturally inclined towards social interaction then maybe this is best.

Everyone has different strengths, and it is my opinion that you should focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses. It is much more efficient this way, so don't feel that you have to become a complete extrovert to be successful. However, I think you should consider taking some classes and working on relationship building to some degree, as a certain level of being "socially-comfortable" will enrich your life in many ways.

Join a professional or social fraternity.

As others have said, you're awkwardness will be caught in the interviews and if not there, the internship. I would join clubs or a business / social fraternity to become more comfortable around people, but that would take a significant effort since you can't come off as too awkward when meeting members of the business or social fraternity. Toastmasters would be a great experience for you

I actually would suggest if you are able to, enroll in a Public Speaking or Interpersonal Communications class.

I used to be like you, it took years for me to get over that hurdle to where I am now. There should be various social clubs (and frats) you can be part of.

Is it worth it to go into a field where social skills matter a lot? As a stats/cs guy you could probably go into a field where your strengths can shine more. As a less social guy, a lot of times I felt fake during dinners cuz i would have to behave in a way that wasn't me. I changed my mind cuz I don't want to work with people who are all different from who I am.

Over the long run, IB is a pretty extroverted career. At a junior level, the job itself is pretty introverted, but the importance of networking, interviewing well, and effective communication is apparent even at the junior level. It's not like IB is off the table for you since you have a MM internship. I think you should really give IB a fair shot before you decide it's not for you. With that said, you definitely want to play to your strengths in terms of your career in the long run so if you give it a try and it's just obvious that it's not for you, pivot to something else. My understanding is that some realms of Finance like AM are a bit better suited for introverts, so you could always try IB and pivot into that after some IB experience. It sounds like you have solid quantitative and programming/coding skills. With a background like yours, I would think you'd be perfect for Data Science, which is a legit career. Software Engineering is great also. I'm not too familiar with it, but you could also look at becoming more of a Quant than a Banker. Also, you don't have to go to Silicon Valley. There's plenty of tech jobs in New York, Chicago, Boston, Washington, D.C., Austin, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Salt Lake City, Boise, and all over really.

Also, while I do think you should play to your strengths when it comes to your career. It would benefit you a lot to try to overcome this social awkwardness. Even if you end up in the most introverted role on the planet, you're gonna have to sell yourself to get the job. Not to mention, the benefits in your personal/social life.

Short answer: NO.

Get some fucking confidence.

Do you like interacting with others? You've made it clear that you lack social skills but that is fixable with effort and genuine desire (see people's recommendations above).

However, if you actually dislike talking to people as a rule, I'd avoid banking. Datapoints to consider here:

1) How often are you irritated (not intimidated or scared) at the prospect of listening to / talking to someone new? 2) Do you frequently describe purely social interactions as 'a waste of time'? 3) Does networking (or even just the thought of it) exhaust you?

Almost everyone becomes less awkward as they age (experience breeds confidence over time); however, if you have disdain for social interaction, you're in trouble.

Best advice I can give as someone who fits a similar mold as me although not sure to what degree we are talking about here, is to start lifting weights, it will build your confidence. From there, start doing your best to meet new people organically. I am guessing you are an introvert, so meeting people under the circumstances that work for you is important. I would say that being involved in the clubs you are in is a good first step, from there going out to lunch/meeting people on a 1 on 1 basis is another good way to build confidence with people. I think sleeping well and working out are two super understated factors for building confidence though.

I was about to pen an extensive comment about my experience dealing with similar issues but I realised this might not be useful since people tend to lump together shyness, social awkwardness, social anxiety disorder, introversion and Asperger's/high-functioning autism. Are you able to specify the main issue you have with social interactions, such as stress, worries or anxiety, lack of understanding of social cues or rules, lack of interest in people? The strategies you will need to employ to be successful will differ depending on the issues/conditions you have.

As an example, I generally prefer to avoid social interactions because a) I don't understand people and their behaviours and b) I'm only happy when I can let my mind run free (people interrupt that). To be successful anyway I do the following things: - I always try to smile at people because in my experience that stops them from asking why I don't talk - I always wear elegant clothing because I want to avoid falling into the stereotype of a nerd (tailor-made is best) - I try to deliver superior results in my work because as long as my work is good no one really cares about my behaviour

But whatever you answer to my question, you really need to work on your interviewing skills. That should be your first priority.

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I suspect you're not all that awkward. Most socially awkward people would never describe themselves as such. They're usually people who think they're cooler than they are, which causes them to overconfidently say and do embarrassing things. Someone self-aware enough to call himself socially awkward at least ineligible for the top tier of social awkwardness. You're 2nd tier at most.

Also, biglaw is mostly awkward people, you'd fit right in if you were actually awkward. Which you may not be.

If you remain self-aware and basically just trust that you'll get smoother with time, you're fine.

I only came in here to point out "sophomore at an top 10 undergrad".

Should be "...at a top 10 undergrad".

For what it's worth, I didn't read anything about the story. Get some confidence just knowing you're at a top 10 undergrad.

Thx

If you're aiming for the front office/client-facing, answer is no. Top firms, investors, MBA programs look for extroverts, logic being that their social confidence and ease will easily garner a network of followers of any sex, age, or background. Extroverts make natural leaders and deal makers. Here in Silicon Valley, contrary to common belief, VCs don't give a dime unless the management team has soft skills. I've had it from guys that Elon Musk could easily sell a spent tissue with enough passion and conviction to make investors think they're getting a great deal. Socially-awkward guys are great, but are hidden from the limelight.

Here's my opinion, I am beyond socially awkward. It used to be "he'll grow out of it", but here we are.

Can a guy with such traits succeed on the Street/BigLaw? The answer is, No. The only people who have succeed with such characteristics have been able to do so because they have had powerful people backing them (note: they were exceptionally smart as well). Think, Michael Burry.

A socially awkward Lawyer? I'll pass.

You can always fake it for a while, during interviews and stuff, but in the long-term you need to be able to socialize effectively if you want to have a career beyond 2nd year analysts.

Tech is nicer, I'm actually in the process of moving over to tech. The social aspect of IB is draining for someone like me.

Become a quant.