Clubbing was such a terrible idea. Don't recommend. Solitude rocks

I'm out of outlets to say this so excuse my cringe woe is me post

Last night I went down to this club, pretty fancy and famous in NYC. I've never been to one before, so it was after peer pressure from my friends (2 girls who had also brought another girl with them). I'll never understand the appeal tbh. This place reactivated my autism and made me 100% certain I belong to my bedroom, which is actually fine by me lmao

Out of nowhere there's always a guy approaching those girls trying to touch or grab or rub, and I'm sitting thinking like...uhh excuse me bruh this is like sexual harassment? Nope. This is standard behavior. Basically Friday nights are reserved for the club veterans who pretty much know every single detail about each other. There's always jargon about someone cheating or someone having a 3some or someone marrying a prostitute. For a moment I thought I was coming from the stone age lol, and toward the end of the night my friends felt bad for me.

Idk what it is but this hedonistic way of life... I simply can't enjoy it. It's unfortunately a peculiarity in 2021. I never touched alcohol in my life, believe it or not, even though my family are alcohol elites. Thankfully I have high self-esteem, so it didn't bother me that everyone is looking at me and smacking their lips. But yeah this was my experience. I'm chilling today with my only true love - my PS5

Those who enjoy clubbing. How the fuck?

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Comments (75)

Oct 4, 2021 - 6:14pm

Yeah 50% Aussie, mate.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • Associate 1 in ER
Oct 2, 2021 - 12:52pm

They know everything about wine and all alcohol beverages, basically ( extrapolated from the term music elite ig)

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Oct 3, 2021 - 7:14pm

Yes, therefore I think I am an alcohol elite. I know White Claw very well. At an elite level.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 4
  • PM in HF - Other
Oct 2, 2021 - 1:05pm

Aint 2021, 2010 was the same fist pump all day. Actually Thursday nights are for true club vets, Friday is just a follow up. Saturday is the normal folk who have a bday to celebrate. Sunday/Mondays is for industry nights and few finance folks who never sleep.

Jokes aside knew many people like you. Nowadays there is bars who do like trivia night and even video game bars. More your scene.

Oct 2, 2021 - 1:06pm

If you have never had any alcohol, a club is not the right place for you.  My buds and I use to get a little sloshed before going into clubs.  Good times but it is not for everyone.  

Funniest
Oct 2, 2021 - 2:39pm

How would people smacking their lips at you hurt your self esteem? It should help it unless you have a condescending mindset.

And sexual harrasment? These women only go there to get touched and feel sexy and adore the attention they are given. Why else would they be there? Miss me with that PC BS and skip the club if u gonna be one of those.

The answer to your question is that you don't drink alcohol. No one else would enjoy it and most would probably also act socially autistic if they weren't all drunk.

Most Helpful
Oct 2, 2021 - 4:44pm

What the fuck are you talking about? Women only go the club to get touched by some disgusting ugly creeps? Are you actually insane? How about they go there to have fun, mingle and flirt, not having to worry about assholes like you rubbing them and touching without consent? Adoring attention is different than 'going to the club to get touched' you fucking imbecile. 

You are either a troll or an absolute douchebag, I really hope it's the former. 

Oct 3, 2021 - 3:52am

Maybe I should clarify haha. There are def cases of sexual harrasment, but based on OP language, I bet the stuff they were referring to was normal club stuff that the girls actually like (such as guy putting his hand on her back or waste while getting her insta or something).

Ppl seem to have misunderstood what I meant but I get why they did 😂

  • Broker in IA
Oct 2, 2021 - 3:19pm

Younger generation changing. Picking up chicks was a thrill in the christian USA, 2000s, 1990s, etc. With all the sex available out there, no one really cares for it. 

Even if you want sex, why would you want a 50/50 shot at picking up becky in a club when you can call lisa std free through a high end escort agency? 

Broadly speaking, people are seeking more emotional connections nowadays. 

  • Associate 1 in ER
Oct 2, 2021 - 3:33pm

I swear to god these online contradictions will make me lose my sanity. Tons of guys online rant about not getting laid enough, while you for example are making sex so easy lol.

Nevertheless. I don't think prostitutes solve the problem. I'm still on teen mode: binging video games and music all day would be just great. I just returned from an international trip to Europe and my bet is that no sex will ever feel as good.

  • Broker in IA
Oct 2, 2021 - 3:37pm

being sub 15% body fat, keeping good hygiene, having a positive attitude, and a good job, will place you better than 95% of men. I guarantee you won't have issues finding women if you follow this. 

Oct 2, 2021 - 5:19pm

People on here love to hate on meeting people online but in my opinion it crushes the alternatives.

Bars and clubs play crazy loud music and are full of thirsty drunk guys

Most girls abhor catcalls/pickups and some will even reject attractive guys doing it because they hate the practice

Meeting girls through hobbies or friends doesn't put you in contact with enough people and if you guys don't click it or have bad chemistry it makes everything awkward cause you see them again.

  • Associate 1 in ER
Oct 2, 2021 - 9:46pm

Online is the best!

I met a girl online 5 years ago when I had just started college. We had literally everything in common. We'd stream music and movies for hours, play video games together, and talk about literally everything, for 5 years we bonded so close (we kept adjusting our time differences but it worked). She's from Lebanon unfortunately, so we couldn't meet. Last April she made it to Toronto to study a master's degree and I immediately drove to her. It was such a surreal experience. I was grinning like a cretin all the time lol. She didn't feel like a stranger at all

We booked some concerts for 2022 and I can't wait to spend more time with her.

Oct 2, 2021 - 6:25pm

Nothing wrong with not liking clubbing. I don't care for it either, would much rather go to a chill bar & play some pool / darts / shuffleboaord with the boys. Or even just the grab food at a great restaurant & have a great conversation / watch a movie / stay in / etc 

  • Analyst 3+ in RE - Comm
Oct 2, 2021 - 10:21pm

had an absolute blast at a popular NYC club last night lol. definitely not something I would want to do every weekend but it is a great way to blow off steam if you have a good group. I am more introverted myself and will be a hermit for the next 2 weekends, but it's fun to let loose every now and then and have a big night. i never go to a club expecting to meet my wife...not where I would go to meet chicks tbh. NYC has been unreal lately, things feel quite normal

I get where you are coming from though, OP. It's saturday and i crushed a pint of ice cream alone on the couch and reorganized by closet. i do think there is a balance to everything though, and like I said blowing off steam every now and then at a club, bar, or whatever is pretty fun for me. making memories with the boys is hard to beat 

Oct 3, 2021 - 12:08am

Definitely see where you're coming from. I'm in my 30s and would much rather be at the gym, reading a book, or watching tv. Which is sad because I'm really into techno/house/trance, but the very thought of staying out til 8 am at a rave gives me anxiety and a hangover. Passed up on seeing a big name tonight for that reason.

Oct 3, 2021 - 11:08am

If you have a great squad (chicks that can play wingwoman and/or at the end of the night if you've struck out then you can go to them for your weekend release plus your boys) then you're gonna have a great time. If you don't like drinking, dancing, fistpumping and getting sweaty then ya the club probably won't be too fun. I personally love it but I'm also young and have always been attracted to the club scene. I also enjoy my solitude time but have never been into video games. I can see why that would appeal to some people but that's just not my thing. I'd rather get obliterated at the bar and grind on a snooki lookalike. To each their own.

Oct 3, 2021 - 1:59pm

Sometimes the bars are just like the clubs.  When I was younger, I use to go to this pub on LI that was technically a bar but we viewed it as a club. They had a dance floor but not like the typically club dance floor.  I never liked the local bars because I was not a local and it would be more difficult to fit in without looking like a total idiot.  Whether it is a club or a popular bar, people are going to these places for the same reason, which is to meet someone.  A few of my friends did not like the club/popular bar scene but we would usually ask them join us anyway.  They usually did not want to go.  

I do wonder how COVID has changed all of this...

  • 3
  • Intern in AM - Equities
Oct 3, 2021 - 3:35pm

I go to clubs alone and get approached by girls but never happens in a bar. I fw clubs fuck bars lol, I'm trying to dance and makeout with hot girls not talk about football. That being said going to clubs is a once every couple weeks type of thing for me, going every weekend or any more is degen as fuck and sad quite frankly.

Oct 3, 2021 - 6:56pm

U should hit up bars, wine clubs, etc. Most of these folks are just looking to get laid. Have high stressful jobs and want their ONS by boasting about being in finance.

Have a close group of friends that you like, and respect and hang out with them.

Oct 4, 2021 - 2:46am

I had this exact revelation over the weekend. I love to hang out with friends, meet new people, drink, and even dance a little but going out just does not seem that enjoyable to me at all. I would 1000% prefer meeting up with people in more relaxed scenarios - going out for dinner, playing board/video/drinking games, seeing shows, etc. For whatever reason it seems to not be the common opinion for folks in their 20s but it's refreshing to see people in NYC who are also looking for something more than the club/bar scene.

Oct 4, 2021 - 3:37am

Those who enjoy clubbing. How the fuck? -> Let me tell you something pretty crazy OP, people enjoy different things. Some people enjoy playing video games, some going clubbing, some hiking, etc. You do you.

Oct 4, 2021 - 7:24am

You bury something in your post that was more important than you're not so eventful night out.You mentioned that you have autism, which I think is amazing in light of where you ended up in life. Where I come from 99% of the kids who have autism are stuck in a room full of special ed kids and given big crayons to draw. My son is on the spectrum (high functioning), incredibly intelligent and can remember things from when he was a toddler with 100% accuracy. He suffers from social awkwardness but it's getting better as we take him out. You might want to consider writing a book because I'm pretty sure there are millions of parents out there who don't get there autistic children a chance of making it to a "average life"let alone IB or PE.

  • Associate 1 in ER
Oct 4, 2021 - 8:34am

Hey man, I hope you and your son are okay. I know how tough it might be, but trust me he will make it.

I was also high-functioning but things slowly improved by time. My mom attended child psychiatry classes when I first started showing symptoms so she handled me very well, I'd say. If your son is relatively old, do everything you can to avoid ABA.

The solution for me was improving the quality of repetitiveness in my activities. I mentioned this somewhere else but I listened to more than 10 thousand albums. At the beginning I loved making up an entire "solitary kingdom" through the songs I liked. But then my behavior started improving as the repetitiveness turned into something neat. Rather than sticking to the same kind of music and films, my new thing was exploration. This was critical. The abstract experience of change was a turning point. Of course, going to concerts and meeting new people followed this, and with it my behavior changed radically.

You should consult with a psychiatrist about this, but you're welcome to try at least. Get him to listen to something calm and soothing, maybe solo pianists (not jazz) or ambient.

Wish you the best :)

  • Associate 1 in ER
Oct 4, 2021 - 8:42am

I know the word gets thrown in pernicious humour on sites like this one, but I am. Had serious behavior changes over time but it's never fully eliminated

Oct 4, 2021 - 9:18am

Hey man, just wanted to say: same here lol.

If I can recommend one thing (idk if you are into that): NYC has some nice Jazz Clubs. You go there, sip your drink of choice and you can let your thoughts wander around. The best part: since everybody is (rightfully) listening to the music (and talking is not really "allowed"), people will leave you alone^^

Oct 4, 2021 - 10:12am

have been dragged to a couple of clubs with single friends since getting married, you're right, they suck. I love dancing but all of the music played is top 40, heavily autotuned or electronic, etc to match their target audience (of which I'm not). I've stopped going to clubs, just dive bars and live music for me. occasionally I'll enjoy myself at somewhere higher end, but I've noticed the quality of random conversations is inversely correlated with the average price per drink

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Oct 4, 2021 - 12:58pm

I love clubbing. Sounds like you just need better guy friends to go to clubs with. The crowd you go out with will make or break your experience

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Oct 4, 2021 - 4:24pm

There's no answer to this, but people that you truly vibe with or are super chill. OP mentioned he only went with girls, might be great as a one off thing but unless you're truly good friends with them you're not gonna enjoy your time. You could meet them through roommates, mutual friends, joining a sports club, hobbies, other chill co-workers who also love to have a good time etc.

Oct 4, 2021 - 5:34pm

I'm a fan of clubs, but they're generally too expensive for most my friends so I don't go often. Packed bars are a great middle ground for all of us. I think who's at the bar is more important than the bar itself. Anyways, if I go to clubs, then generally it's with a large group of friends. Like 20 of us and at that point it's a blast and you get blasted.

I think I did this right

  • Analyst 2 in PE - LBOs
Oct 4, 2021 - 6:17pm

I love clubbing tbh and while I respect everyone´s tastes, I am frightened to see that like +90% of the comments are from ppl saying that they hate clubbing. This doesn´t correspond to what I have seen in real life (both from my hometown friends and from colleagues), so either this sample is heavily biased or ppl hides the fact that they hate clubbing in real life

  • Associate 1 in ER
Oct 4, 2021 - 6:24pm

The sample lacks variation, obviously. In NYC club queues on Fridays are literally endless. Folks here are mostly in finance, working long hours is a barrier to nightlife.

  • Analyst 2 in PE - LBOs
Oct 4, 2021 - 6:34pm

Agree, but while it is not that easy to actually party while working in finance, most of the people seem to be eager to do it if possible or at least they say that they like it. In my case, I party way less since I started working in finance, as now I want to rest during the weekend rather than lose sleep and be hungover, but I still love clubbing and partying hard

Oct 4, 2021 - 8:00pm

Not a fan of clubs because I can only have fun in them if I get blackout drunk, and it's usually not a good thing to be blackout drunk in a rowdy club.

I prefer to just go to bars where I can sit down and put away 15 beers in peace.

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

Oct 5, 2021 - 1:51pm

As we've gotten older, my friends and I have found ourselves going much more frequently to mega resort/casino/nightlife properties (Vegas style places like Mohegan Sun, Baha Mar, Encore Boston Harbor, etc). They have options that appeal to the entire spectrum of nightlife/dining preferences, and there's never a dull moment or lack of activity. Going to these kinds of places with a group is always a blast. If you already plan to spend a lot of money, I definitely would recommend as an alternative to the traditional big city megaclubs…there's much more variety and you can make an entire weekend (or more) out of it.

Oct 12, 2021 - 4:12pm

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Oct 12, 2021 - 4:12pm

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  • Intern in IB-M&A
Oct 18, 2021 - 3:40am

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