Cover letter help! desperate

Hey everyone,

I really need some constructive feedback on this preliminary cover letter I've done. So my situation is, I am a graduate with barely any experiences and looking through a agency for 5 month pretty much intern/low pay position as a analyst, capital market risk management. I have great interest in that field and it would be a dream! if i can really land that job. So I'm trying to put as much relevant items i have related to risk management. I've taken a course which i did fairly well and was recommended to even become a TA for it, but unfortunately do to some school circumstances with hiring people who graduated i couldnt get it. I was wondering should i put emphasis of what i learn in risk, or maybe say i could've become a TA. Or exactly what to cut back etc. I know this might be one of the worst CL you'll read but i really hope when some good feedback i could change it around as i wasn't entirely sure how to approach. Really really appreciate you guys thanks!

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Best Response

Take a look at the mergers and inquisitions cover letter article(s).. I understand you are not going for IB, but the advice still applies.

And try to find a specific contact you can address the letter to. The purpose of the cover letter is not only to express interest and show a fit with the position, but also to try to establish a personal connection with the person scanning your resume. E.g. say you find a contact that is an alumni or you have a common connection. Better yet, I would scan LinkedIn for former employees of the group, have an informational interview with a couple of them (to get a sense of what the job entails and what skillset is needed), and then mention their name(s) and how you took the initiative to contact them in your letter. It will show your serious interest and make you a serious candidate.

And ditto to what macro said - couldn't agree more. Don't use any extra words; they need to catch the eye when the person scans the letter. Also, maybe mention something about you wanting to pursue the FRM (Financial Risk Manager) designation. If you don't know about the FRM, go to the GARP's website and read about it.

And lastly some tough love. Do some searches on the forum for cover letter reviews, and analyze the common mistakes (e.g. sir/madam) and the feedback that was given. You can search for articles for cover letter tips on Google works as well!! Come on!! Be hungry and do the work!

 

Wow, honestly i am so thankful for these I sightful feedbacks you guys gave. I had a staple cover letter before where I only change a few points and send it away. Concise and to the point, now I understand. I've actually also used the merger and Inquisition cover letter as a reference but I couldn't apply to any relevant experience that I have that will help me land this job. Should I mention anything about the course I took? As a research assistant? As a teacher assistant? What important content should I list out?

 

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