Dealing with working with ex in same department

eviloctal's picture
Rank: Baboon | 104

So I have been informed that my ex will be working in the same department as me. This is a SA IB position at a BB. Since we didn't end exactly on good terms (our conversations thus far have all ended with arguments), I was wondering if anyone here has any experience on how I should approach this situation? Don't want to jeopardize my chances of a FT offer.

Comments (31)

Sep 14, 2013

Unless you're in a very large group, chances are you'll be spending a lot of time together. I've never been in this situation before, but I've been definitely seen interns who didn't get along with each other.

The formula is pretty simple.

1. Be nice, and be the better man.
2. Outperform.

Sep 14, 2013

Yea, we are in a pretty small group so nearly 100% probability of spending a lot of time with her. Should I "attempt" to treat her the same way as I treat everyone else on the team? Or inform my manager about the situation so hopefully we aren't placed on the same projects as often? The main problem I am worried about is she clearly cares alot less about the internship than me, so she doesn't really care if she doesn't get a return offer, however I really want the return offer.

Sep 14, 2013

Please do not inform anyone, especially not any of your bosses, about this trivial situation.

Ignore her unless you need to work directly with her. When you do work with her, avoid small talk. She'll probably hate you more, but that's okay in this situation.

Sep 14, 2013

Hope you are joking bud. Girls in finance are killers when they want to be, they are fighting and dealing in a male dominated world and know tit. She is going to come in straight up killing it, and now that she knows you the competition is going to try to bury your ass.

You need to focus on killing it and pretend the past never happened. Be the bigger person and hope she decides to do the same after a while too.

Sep 14, 2013

Do not tell your manager are you kidding me

Sep 14, 2013

Don't tell anyone about the relationship (it's over anyway, so no one's business and nothing to talk about). Just be nice and professional. As long as you conduct yourself correctly and people see that, you'll come away the bigger person.

Sep 14, 2013

Thanks for the comments guys, really appreciate it. The reason I know that she is not interested in IB is because she already as offers in other industries which she is more interested and capable in.

Sep 14, 2013
eviloctal:

Thanks for the comments guys, really appreciate it. The reason I know that she is not interested in IB is because she already as offers in other industries which she is more interested and capable in.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

I don't think you realize that even if this girl has zero desire to accept a full-time job from this internship, she is entering this with the mindset that she needs to prevent you from getting an offer. And that's not even factoring in the fact that you seem to have a very antagonistic relationship at this point, replete with shouting matches and all.

Sep 15, 2013

Interesting. Best of luck pal. Women have long memories and sometimes just can't let go. Let's just hope she keeps it all professional, which we hope you will too. Obviously, leave the bosses out of it.

Sep 15, 2013

Have fun when she starts banging all the associates.

You should just start buying calls on the probability of her being dp'ed by her whole group. I already put in 50 contracts. Good luck.

    • 1
Sep 16, 2013

Real talk

Sep 16, 2013

I think you can easily summarize this in a single sentence: Stay professional at all times.

Sep 16, 2013

If she really truly hates you she can and will try to make you look stupid or sabotage you. You being the owner of a penis have to tread carefully because if she starts doing this day one and does it right she'll win your bosses over,especially if she's hot.

You need to come prepared for the worst and have a plan to handle her ass. Obviously, like everyone else has said you need to outperform her but you need win your superiors over too. So make sure you have good rapport with everyone. Act professional with her and if she starts pulling some some shit in front of people multiple times, do your best to play it off the first couple times and have something to say back. When she keeps at for the third or fourth time, you need to subtly hint that you've might of banged and that you need to talk to her. It doesn't matter what you say, keep it short and let her get crazy, you stay calm. Everyone needs to see this. This will let people know that she's irrational and bitter and her reasons for calling you out or whatever she did follows her logic. She'll end up looking dumb and you will come out looking like a champ.

This plan will only work if your a likeable person if not you could sabotage her by putting exlax in her coffee and so she gets explosive diarrhea in a meeting. Boom! Return offer secured, no one likes a smelly bitch.

Sep 16, 2013
machineman13:

This plan will only work if your a likeable person if not you could sabotage her by putting exlax in her coffee and so she gets explosive diarrhea in a meeting. Boom! Return offer secured, no one likes a smelly bitch.

Haha wow, must remember to keep a lid on my coffee at all times!

Sep 16, 2013

First time I've pitied a BB SA.

Sep 16, 2013

@eviloctal

Hope you got some good pointers on this thread. For our entertainment, keep us updated on how it plays out. Could be a lesson to future SA's.

Sep 16, 2013

Who dumped who?

Sep 16, 2013

this is ridiculous. might as well just date her again.

Sep 16, 2013

is sleeping with her mom an option?

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!

Sep 16, 2013

Seriously write down any funny or messed up shit that happens and sell it as a movie script. I would definitely pay money to see that movie.

Sep 16, 2013

Make sure to be calm and enjoy how she is going to try to hook up with everyone in the office to piss you off.
It will be a great show and I hope you will get the offer at the end.

Sep 16, 2013

I am assuming this was very messy and she's a maniacal bitch otherwise you wouldn't be posting about it.

Lock your computer every time you leave your desk... I'll take the over on number of times she tries to sabotage you. Like everyone else said just bust your ass and do your work, ignore her completely and never rely on her (or any other intern for that matter) if you guys are working together, just assume she didn't do it.

Sep 16, 2013

Be professional at all times. Be the classy, confident guy. Ignore all her bullshit (if she tries to give you any), and outperform the shit out of her. Eventually, after failing to subdue you, emotionally or otherwise, she'll give in and give up. Hell if you play this right she might even be chasing after you when the stint is over.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

Sep 16, 2013

Take specific precautions to avoid any problems. People saying be professional are probably underestimating the shitstorm eviloctal is facing. If you're able to stop being a bitch and control your emotions long enough, I'd say swallow your pride, make nice, and do so in a painfully sincere way (ie., lie through your teeth, if necessary). Let her feel like she's in a position of power. Your bosses don't give a shit, I hope that's a bad joke. If she starts showing signs of still hunting you down after you've let her feel like the winner, sabotage the shit out of her at every corner.

In the office, make sure people notice how nice you are to her, if fans and feces become acquainted, a popularity contest may follow, make sure you'll win.

If you don't got it, get it and spend it.

Sep 17, 2013

The best option would be to make her jealous. That way she will work hard to compensate. If that is not an option, just treat her like everyone else, and prey that she gets over it.

Some Phil Collins music to help OP get over it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkADj0TPrJA

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"

Sep 17, 2013
Sep 17, 2013
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Sep 19, 2013
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Power and Money do not change men; they only unmask them