Exclusivity and being a member of the "Club"
I recently had a chance to attend a networking mixer here in NYC for alums of "top" business schools. It was hosted by a startup incubator in silicon alley. The only reason I got to go was because a friend who works there invited me.
Free beer and nachos are always great; nonetheless it was still a bit awkward being there. The people were friendly enough, but when they asked me "so what b-school did you go to?" and my response was "oh i didn't go to b-school. i did my undergrad at X, and my friend invited me," their demeanor went from being polite to a state of disinterest. I went to a pretty damm good college myself, but i got the sense that to them, i was not someone who could add value to their professional/social networks. Simply put, I was not part of the "club."
This is one reason why I normally don't go to these sort of events. At the same time though, I recognize their value for what they are. More importantly, this just reinforces one reason why going to an elite school is important-mainly that it serves as a type of social/professional proof whereby those who attended are implicitly accepted to the "club." Observing the mixer, the b-school alums sort of had their own secret language of sorts, as if they were all in on a big inside joke while everyone else is an outsider. In this sense it is not at all dissimilar from membership in an exclusive undergrad frat.
We all know that you live in Chicago.
Sup brady!
I heard that alums of top business schools ooze swagger.
Fixed that for you.
context...
the reason you go the dirty look was because they assumed you were pretending to be part of their "club", or wanted to network with them without being useful to them.
take one of these mba types and put them at an event for alums of top medical schools and you will have the same result. They'll assume they're there to try to sell them something, or mooch off of them in some manner.
these same mba types will fawn over you if you were their client at a corporate, a financial institution, or a fund.
another non-work example, if you were at a restaurant/lounge with two beautiful women i bet the same guy who gave you a dirty look would say hello and remind you that you had met at this event.
context matters. if you have the attitude that someone is better than you, then they are so. if you place yourself in situations where you seem inferior, you will feel that way.
The reason you got dirty looks is that you didn't given them the right context about who you were. You were just a friend of an employee. They don't know if you're there for the free drinks, or if you are in a relationship with the guy, or because you're looking for a job. You should have answered differently, in a way that frames you in a more relevant manner.
The guy probably didn't care what business school you went to and just wanted an opener for conversation. You didn't show him that you were worth having a conversation with. You should have said...
... "oh i didn't go to b-school. i did my undergrad at X, I'm XYZ's guest, I (insert what it is you do, what you are interested in, something that makes you useful for someone at the event...)"
Examples would be...
... I work for ABC fund, we invest in ... ... I've helped XYZ with raising financing for DealCo... ... etc... even if it's not related to the incubator event.
and then followed up with asking him what he does, or how he knows the incubator guys.
If you're not in finance at all, or never have been, at the very least you could have said that you are considering which business schools to apply to and asked him about his, or that you are interested in starting your own tech company, or whatever...
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