Female Bullying in Prop Firm
Thanks Everyone for the responses! I will update with any notable progress.
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are these females also traders? are you taking risk with your own P&L yet?
since trading is all about that one number....your P&L...i would suggest whenever you feel something negative, ask the girl "whats your P&L yesterday/today? SCOREBOARD!!!"
Just always bring it back to being professional...and honestly...you need to grow a thicker skin...trading is a tough business. The guys won't have much sympathy because guys bust each other's balls...but its a friendly sort of thing...just like the way guys talk smack when they play video games....its a way to let off some steam. You could call out the girls on the girl stuff
"hey stacy, when's the last time you washed your hair?"
or when a girl makes a comment about your weight "hey stacy, you really gonna eat that donut?" (regardless of what she's eating/doing...this is a subtle dig...disguised as a concern over her health and well being). Of course she is probably not eating a donut...doesn't matter...cuz in your mind you can think "you fat fuck" (don't say that out loud....let it be inferred).
and if a girl asks "what do you mean?" you could respond with "oh, i'm just curious" Guys would probably laugh (i think i would). You got to keep your comments/questions in the realm of deniability of course.
The only way to fight fire is with fire. You say they don't trade their own money? Use that to your advantage....ask them "so, what are you trading today?" Just always being it back to trading...
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Don't feed this troll, dude.
This is the worst advice I have ever heard. These women are obviously insecure and jealous of you. If you ask them if they are "really going to eat that donut" or "what's your P/L" they will lash out even more. Just talk to them like human beings, ask them about their day/weekend/life and maybe have a genuine conversation with them. Stop being so petty and think for a second why they would be acting that way (which you've answered in your post).
As a guy, you should know better than to stoop down to where women are. That's a very very bad recipe unless you want to set your own house on fire.
Totally agree with faceslappingcompilation .
It's no different on the physical trading floor - it's part of the game. Bitches will be bitches, time to eat some concrete and harden up. The reality is not everyone is going to like you.
And if the only group of girls at your office dislike you, then you're either doing something wrong or something bloody right. I prefer the latter more.
snigger? Do you mean snicker?
Im in the UK
Snigger: give a half-suppressed, typically scornful laugh Snicker: chocolate bar Chocolate bar: Candy =)
You'd be risking your life saying snigger in certain cities of the US.
Aren't you the same person who asked back in February on why CFA holders can't trade their own account because it will be an unfair advantage? You have no experience at all, trading anything for any firm or bank and you've been trying to land a trading job at a hedge fund lol... Now you're telling us you've been trading your own book for a prop firm for 18 months? Don't you have better things to do?
I took it to add some real work experience to my cv, having successfully traded my own book for 18 months-ish.
Can you read? I trade my own self funded book, because of this I got a junior position at a prop firm. You definitely sound like you'd have a lot in common with the women at my work
edit: Aren't you the one who was asking for advice on losing money on trades with your senior trader? I can handle my own trades but thanks for your input. lol
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1) how long have you been at the prop firm 2) whats your total P&L since joining 3) what are your risk parameters?
(i'm not asking to be an ass...depending on the answers will change how i would act)
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ahh.ok....so you are REALLY new.
are you at least paper trading? if not, i would suggest starting to do this ASAP (don't reset every day...start with an imaginary 100k or whatever and aggressively trade it and see how you do over the next month). I would strongly suggest looking at ZN or ZB (note/bond futures). They are slower than crude oil futures, but have enough volatility to catch decent intraday moves (these are my best instrument to trade) and you can see how they respond to economic data / geopolitics, etc...
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i had assumed you were more profitable...my PA is up 40% YTD, and i expect that to hit 100% by year end, but then again, i've been trading for years and i've got my process down (trading US bond futures) with reasonable risk params.
i agree with the poster below...act like the guys who smack talk playing video games...take nothing personally...make $$
"These girls are just dogs"
Damn homie thats quite the fuckin burn. Tbh they sound miserable. If they ask you how you stay in good shape or whatever, you should tell them but like indicate that its something they probably wouldn't be able to handle. Patronize the fuck outta them. Thats what I'd do. Also, as they traders? Pretty much every woman I know with a front office job is in great shape. They'd be an outlier at my firm.
I feel like this is one of those life lessons you should have learned by now ...
The more the bullying bothers you, the more you're gonna get .. Just ignore it .. or just matter of factly answer any of their inquiries.
Them: "Do you have an eating disorder or something?"
You: "Nope, not today"
Them: "do you have hair extensions"
You: "Only on the weekends"
That pretty much buries the conversation into the groud.
I feel like this is one of those life lessons you should have learned by now ...
I hear what you're saying and fully agree with it. I am wasting my own time and energy
*Them: "Do you have an eating disorder or something?"
You: "Nope, not today*
Good comeback xD I am bookmarking it in my brain for future interrogations.
if you're feeling tired and don't want to put forth any effort, just go with the quick 'agree and amplify'.
*Them: "Do you have an eating disorder or something?"
You: "Yeah, I haven't eaten since july '09"
Them: "do you have hair extensions"
You: "yes, I have to wrap them around my waist or they'll drag on the floor"
WTF kind of prop shop has 4 women? How many of them are assistants?
IKR. I thought anywhere involving traders is a pure sausage fest.
i traded on a desk at a BB and there were 2-3 female traders (out of 12 traders)...in addition to the 2-3 female researchers (out of 6), almost half the salesforce was female, etc...
YEAH BUT WERE THEY CUTE?
"The only way to fight fire is with fire. " Noooo... don't do that. Not if you need the job anyway.
They are being incredibly rude. Call it out politely, firmly and lather, rinse and repeat. This is the usual advice on Ask A Manager anyway, and that site has a wealth of workplace advice and lots of advice about horrible coworkers.
How can you eat like that and stay slim? "Gee, good genes I guess. How about that TPS report?
Are you wearing extensions? (touches hair) "Wow, that was rude. It's considered very impolite to touch people's hair."
Do you have an eating disorder, is that why you're so skinny? "Wow, that's a rude thing to ask someone. Not sure why you're so concerned about other's eating habits? I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone did that to you." Change subject.
Basically, shut down these conversations quickly without making a huge fuss. Repeat until it becomes boring that you won't rise to the baiting.
InfoDominatrix the only active woman on here should provide some good advice
Either kill them with kindness/playfulness or reply in a way that takes all the oxygen out of the potential fire they're trying to light under you.
"Do you have an eating disorder?" "No, but my tapeworm does."
"Do you wear hair extensions?" "Oh my god... do you think my hair's too thin?!?"
Answers like that after a little while will make them realize that they aren't going to get a "proper" rise out of you nor will they receive the sorts of responses they want out of you that they can continue to play with - they'll soon enough get bored and/or think you're weird... either way, they'll leave you alone.
Try to maintain your temper, don't lash out or they'll surely try to flip it on you and try to involve H.R.
Avoid letting them see you upset or crying, those reactions from you will only further feed the mean girls.
EDIT: If they're as cunty as all that, beware if you feel that you are getting baited, especially when one of them has a phone in her hand and/or if there's a pair of them chatting you up... video and witnesses can fuck you.
Good luck!
"Do you have an eating disorder?" "No, but my tapeworm does."
I am LOVING some of these comebacks. Thanks!
Lol. A girl spread a rumor that I was anorexic so I'd be suspended for counseling and mental health checks on the golf team. Don't bother. Women get hella jealous hella easily. You're probably the hot new girl that turns all the heads. I know it's hard to let it get past you, as stuff like that pisses me off a lottttt, but remember you got hired at the end of the day because you deserve the job and have the diligence to do it. They can go f themselves. Master the soft smile and silence is golden baby, or possibly a sarcastic thanks and move on---pisses ladies off.
i'm sympathetic but you don't sound very pleasant to be around either.
unless you're [xenia tchoumitcheva](https://news.efinancialcareers.com/8839/life-lessons-from-the-strikingl…) hot then that can be excused
=) I take your point - I was fuming when I wrote the post. xenia tchoumitcheva is gorgeous, I am definitely not in her league.
I'd give you advice but WSO deletes my posts if I say anything remotely "inflammatory" towards the female gender.
edit: if OP is trolling, i guess i'm not shocked but i'll admit i fell for it
curious how things have been going???
Hi! I am fighting back as much as I can given that I am pond scum at the moment in the firm hierarchy, but also working on a thicker skin - I had a success last week. I had gone on holiday and bought back the obligatory chocolates for the office. One of the girls muttered that I had bought them in because I 'probably wouldn't eat them myself', seeing that I 'didn't look like I ate chocolates' and I just muttered straight back 'yeh and you look like you're going to eat the.entire.box'
Even Head of trading himself had a bit of 'snigger' at that =)
Thanks for all the help everyone!
this was great...would love to hear more!!
this kind of thing will only help your career...it makes the senior traders root for you
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