For those in IBD: Dumbest things you've seen in a resume?

LB Banker's picture
Rank: Orangutan | 299

Here's one I came across this morning from a kid from an Ivy.

"GPA: 2.45 / Major GPA: 2.6".

Why he put his major GPA if it still sux my left nut is beyond me. I was thinking of drafting him the following email:

"Dear [ ],

Thank you for your interest in [ ]. Unforunately, we will not be moving forward in the process with you. Our cafeteria is hiring, though. Can you make a mean panini? If so, I will be happy to forward your resume along.

ps. I hear Jefferies is hiring.

Best regards,
[ ] "

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Comments (147)

Oct 27, 2006

Even dumber shit on cover letters! Ay vay.

(Yes, I read them)

e.g. resume shows an accounts payable position while in undergrad and the kid spins the experience on his cover letter to say he's done "transactional level" work.

Ah ja... I get it, I get it... A/P, shoving paper along, from this person to that person, yup transactional!

Oct 27, 2006

I've seen objectives where they say something like "to obtain investment banking analyst position at ________" which is lame in and of itself, but on top of that, they get the name of the bank wrong...

    • 2
Oct 27, 2006

I personally misspelled "Bear Stearns" in an old cover letter (left out the 'a' in 'Stearns'). Name of the bank is probably the first thing you should get right.

Otherwise, I've seen plenty of pompous cover letters before. Usually not the best idea, even if you may be God's gift.......

Oct 27, 2006

when people put CEO or something along those lines of some bullshit company they founded...i mean give me a break

    • 1
Oct 27, 2006

The CEO bit is played out too much...

Excerpts from letters received this week - either with generally poor writing, punctuation or just desperately stretch experience:

"I reguarly contact and interact with CEO's, CFO's, and Presidents of company's to discuss various available M&A and Exit strategies."

"I supplemented my academic work with

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Oct 27, 2006

I've seen kids lie on their resumes and to me that's the DUMBEST thing you can do.

One loser said he worked for Piper Jaffray's tech investment banking group in Seattle, WA, which was bullshit. I had interned at Piper so I knew the company. They only have muni/public finance up there.

Oct 30, 2006
opticalcharge:

I've seen kids lie on their resumes and to me that's the DUMBEST thing you can do.

One loser said he worked for Piper Jaffray's tech investment banking group in Seattle, WA, which was bullshit. I had interned at Piper so I knew the company. They only have muni/public finance up there.

lol..... thats a good one.

Oct 27, 2006

"To find a challenging position in a hungry firm that will leverage my entrepreneurial drive and experience."

Jul 2, 2009

Hahaha what an idiot!

Oct 27, 2006

Just for shits 'n giggles... let's examine that statement a bit.

Why would anyone want to seek a position in a "hungry firm"? At first pass, the expression implies firm is not bringing in any business. Would you find a challenging position joining a sinking ship?

I might be a wee bit tired this afternoon so perhaps I'm missing something else. How does entrepreneural drive match IB? Entrepreneural drive fits VC, but IB?

Oct 27, 2006

Haha, exactly. To top it off, under interests, the applicant listed high-energy physics and phantom racing...

Oct 27, 2006

What the hell is high-energy physics?

Oct 27, 2006

What the hell is low-energy physics?

Oct 27, 2006

So confusing, my brain hurts

Oct 27, 2006

I certainly have no idea...but as far as interests go, I would file it under the socially awkward category.

Best Response
Oct 27, 2006

I'm just paging through a recent book of college seniors:

"I have a real passion for Finance." Uh, really? I didn't think finance was actually passion-worthy. And what's with the Capital Letters? Are we in the seventeenth century?

"I believe that the atmosphere at [firm] will help nurture my strengths and satisfy my visceral urge to work in the financial markets." Great. Why don't you tell me all about your... um... visceral urges.

"I would love opportunity to compete for this position. I am very eager to learn and very hardworking. I wish I could apply for all the positions within [firm]. [Firm] has been a dream company of mine for the past three years and I would love to work for such an amazing company." Okay, kid. Calm down. Just breathe, okay?

One kid wrote to "Mr. Alicia Wu". Alicia Wu is clearly a woman.

One kid's last name was "Dorkman", I kid you not. Dude, I feel sorry for you, but if your last name is Dorkman, change it before you apply to investment banks. In fact, change it before you do anything anywhere. No one can possibly take you seriously no matter how hard we try.

"I am currently the Director of Finance and the Vice President of Content for a growing on-line investment service company." Great, glad to hear you and your buddies know how to build a website.

One kid attached his entire school transcript when we didn't ask for it. Dude, do you know how much space you just wasted in our book?

A few select phrases from one kid's letter: he wants to join "the world's most talented individuals," my firm is "the best, bar none," he's "the top finance major in his class", he wants "limitless learning potential." Dude, I call limitless bullshit. I was only one year ahead of you in the same school, remember? Don't say you're the best when you know your resume is going to be looked at by people who actually went to classes with you.

"I have an insatiable desire to learn." Again with the dirty talk? What is it with all these primal urges and passions and insatiable desires? Don't you guys ever get laid?

"Last summer I was exposed to Morgan Stanley's Investment Banking Division." Exposed? How kinky. Got pictures?

Take-aways: Don't be dumb. Choose your wording carefully. Don't let your cover letter sound even remotely like sex. The words "lust," "visceral," "urge," and "insatiable" probably do not belong on a cover letter. You're looking for cool confidence, not warm sweaty palms. Don't bother telling us how badly you want this. Everyone wants this badly.

Apr 2, 2013
Mis Ind:

I'm just paging through a recent book of college seniors:

"I have a real passion for Finance." Uh, really? I didn't think finance was actually passion-worthy. And what's with the Capital Letters? Are we in the seventeenth century?

"I believe that the atmosphere at [firm] will help nurture my strengths and satisfy my visceral urge to work in the financial markets." Great. Why don't you tell me all about your... um... visceral urges.

"I would love opportunity to compete for this position. I am very eager to learn and very hardworking. I wish I could apply for all the positions within [firm]. [Firm] has been a dream company of mine for the past three years and I would love to work for such an amazing company." Okay, kid. Calm down. Just breathe, okay?

One kid wrote to "Mr. Alicia Wu". Alicia Wu is clearly a woman.

One kid's last name was "Dorkman", I kid you not. Dude, I feel sorry for you, but if your last name is Dorkman, change it before you apply to investment banks. In fact, change it before you do anything anywhere. No one can possibly take you seriously no matter how hard we try.

"I am currently the Director of Finance and the Vice President of Content for a growing on-line investment service company." Great, glad to hear you and your buddies know how to build a website.

One kid attached his entire school transcript when we didn't ask for it. Dude, do you know how much space you just wasted in our book?

A few select phrases from one kid's letter: he wants to join "the world's most talented individuals," my firm is "the best, bar none," he's "the top finance major in his class", he wants "limitless learning potential." Dude, I call limitless bullshit. I was only one year ahead of you in the same school, remember? Don't say you're the best when you know your resume is going to be looked at by people who actually went to classes with you.

"I have an insatiable desire to learn." Again with the dirty talk? What is it with all these primal urges and passions and insatiable desires? Don't you guys ever get laid?

"Last summer I was exposed to Morgan Stanley's Investment Banking Division." Exposed? How kinky. Got pictures?

Take-aways: Don't be dumb. Choose your wording carefully. Don't let your cover letter sound even remotely like sex. The words "lust," "visceral," "urge," and "insatiable" probably do not belong on a cover letter. You're looking for cool confidence, not warm sweaty palms. Don't bother telling us how badly you want this. Everyone wants this badly.

lmao, letting the steam out? pretty funny though

    • 2
Jul 24, 2017

A

Jul 24, 2017
Mis Ind:

One kid attached his entire school transcript when we didn't ask for it. Dude, do you know how much space you just wasted in our book?

Shit. Do you recommend never adding additional documents besides CV/CL (including when the website prompts for an optional transcript)? Is this why I get no interviews?

Oct 27, 2006

Nicely done. Are you the anonymous pen behind Leveraged Sellout?

Oct 27, 2006

Thanks Mis Ind, loved every bit of that. Hysterical, made me laugh!!!

Also, I think I've seen a Dorkman name before.

BTW, might be just me, but on those late nights when the nutty comes out of people, I'd hate to work side by side with some guy who finds high energy physics (whatever the heck that is) interesting!!

I once worked with a guy who did stand up comedy as a way to build up his confidence while in undergrad. He was a hoot to work with!

Oct 27, 2006
aadpepsi:

BTW, might be just me, but on those late nights when the nutty comes out of people, I'd hate to work side by side with some guy who finds high energy physics (whatever the heck that is) interesting!!

He's the guy burning the hole in the back of your head, coupled with the heavy breathing...

Oct 27, 2006

Leveraged Sellout is authored by an indian male. He has a personal website he used to link to before the comments section started getting out of hand.

Hilarious, Mis Ind.

Oct 27, 2006

I just spit up my Pepsi!!!

I can hear the heavy breathing

Oct 27, 2006

A propos of Leveraged Sellout...looks like there's a new one today.

Oct 27, 2006

lol Mr Alicia Wu. it doesn't sound very attractive, whatever it is.

Oct 27, 2006

those are funny...and Mis Ind I disagree about the following(quoted on the bottom) if you enjoy something, it can indeed be passion worthy...just because you chose your job based on the money/exit ops...doesn't mean that was the reason for others. Personally I like the whole valuation process, because you get to figure out how much a company/stock is worth...and if IB was a job w/o all the bonuses, and all you got was the 60K base, I'd still want to do it, since I'd rather have a hard job that I enjoy, than an easy boring job that I hate.

"I have a real passion for Finance." Uh, really? I didn't think finance was actually passion-worthy. And what's with the Capital Letters? Are we in the seventeenth century"

P.S. can pretty much quote that whole 11 page resume for this thread heh

Oct 27, 2006

haha i bet she was looking at your cover letter... damn

Oct 27, 2006

i didn't use those exact words, but in a few of my cover letters I used that whole passion thing.

Oct 27, 2006

prospie I wonder...are you zala? Your posts seem very similiar

Oct 27, 2006

nope...

Oct 27, 2006

your post style definetly reminds me of someone...did you change your name?

Oct 27, 2006

Are applicants still calling your bank CSFB or do they at least have that right?

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Oct 29, 2006

mis Ind: LMAO, great post!

Oct 27, 2006

Yep, nobody got the name of my bank wrong this time.

Thanks, guys. Nobody laughs at my jokes at work; nice to know I'm still funny.

Oct 29, 2006

May be the kid was ignorant of the market norms.(not defending him in any case)

Anywayz if some one from the ivy has something like 2.7 / 3.5. Is it worth mentioning, may be one wants to show that he/she has the potential to score 3.5 .

Cheers
Alok

Oct 27, 2006

Just a perspective on your example of a 2.7/3.5...

I think that raises a serious red flag. It's a large difference. Don't you think? One could argue that courses in a major are supposed to be more challenging than other general coursework. Therefore such a big difference in scale of GPA is a red flag. A 2.7/3.5 shows a level of nonchalance or indifference, i.e. you tried hard in one area and disregarded the other.

In IB it's not about the potential to be at a 3.5. It's about inner drive as much as it is about being disciplined and having a commitment to excel across everything you do.

Oct 27, 2006

With IB yes 2.7 is inadequate, but other industries, putting a 2.7/3.5 isn't as bad, thats almost a 3.1, which is not that bad. And every career center will tell you to put your GPA on your resume if its 3.0 and above.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD...follow the advice at your own risk

    • 1
Oct 29, 2006

my personal favorites are when i see something like this...

GPA: 3.7
Major GPA: 3.3 (like in finance/econ)

Oct 27, 2006

Thanks mikesdaboss, that's another great example.

Consistency. Discipline. I had a good mentor years years years ago that put it something like this:

Let's say you start weight training, attempting to reshape your body yadda yadda. It's not going to be effective that you just attempt to lift greater and greater weights. You need to simultaneously have a complementary discipline to change your eating habits, balance weight training with cardio, in effect progressively increasing your strength.

How does this relate to IB, GPAs etc.? Well, the one follows the other.

Oct 27, 2006

In the spirit of full disclosure, 'cuz I know a lot of undergrads read these posts... I'll humbly admit my own undergrad GPA was far from stellar. Fortunately, I did very well in B-School :-)

Oct 27, 2006

how bad is "far from stellar"

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD...follow the advice at your own risk

Oct 27, 2006

3.2

Shocked? Well, I was a ChemE undergrad. Freakin' tough stuff and all I remember is molarity is moles/ML, "-ene" refers to a double bond and the thumb test you do for isomer compounds. Whatever!

After undergrad, I took what I thought was a scut level job in the financial markets which wound up not being as scut level as I thought in retrospect and one thing led to another...

What my point is that your undergrad GPA matters for that first job. Afterwards, no one gives a crap.

As for IB after B-School... companies will only focus on your B-School GPA. To boot, schools like Stanford among many others have a grade non-disclosure policy which in effect says "I did the hardest part, I got in. Now I can focus on learning."

A challenged GPA doesn't hang you. It definitely sets you back, for sure. Personally, the way I always thought of such matters is that the only difference between me and somebody else who's already "In" is time. A disciplined person will overcome that. What it imposes is that you have to work harder and you have to tie out other aspects of your profile so that you don't leave room for scrutiny, e.g. maturity, poise, interviewing skils, network etc. The reality is one might have to settle for a lesser position and prove your way into the ideal position etc. Is that so bad? NO. Not at all.

Aug 12, 2012

agreed. i did the same thign tho mine was lower than 3.2. didnt know anyone in finance - didnt get interviews at BB. but persistence paid off - went straight into PE!

Aug 12, 2012

agreed. i did the same thign tho mine was lower than 3.2. didnt know anyone in finance - didnt get interviews at BB. but persistence paid off - went straight into PE! in Chicago!

aadpepsi:

3.2

Shocked? Well, I was a ChemE undergrad. Freakin' tough stuff and all I remember is molarity is moles/ML, "-ene" refers to a double bond and the thumb test you do for isomer compounds. Whatever!

After undergrad, I took what I thought was a scut level job in the financial markets which wound up not being as scut level as I thought in retrospect and one thing led to another...

What my point is that your undergrad GPA matters for that first job. Afterwards, no one gives a crap.

As for IB after B-School... companies will only focus on your B-School GPA. To boot, schools like Stanford among many others have a grade non-disclosure policy which in effect says "I did the hardest part, I got in. Now I can focus on learning."

A challenged GPA doesn't hang you. It definitely sets you back, for sure. Personally, the way I always thought of such matters is that the only difference between me and somebody else who's already "In" is time. A disciplined person will overcome that. What it imposes is that you have to work harder and you have to tie out other aspects of your profile so that you don't leave room for scrutiny, e.g. maturity, poise, interviewing skils, network etc. The reality is one might have to settle for a lesser position and prove your way into the ideal position etc. Is that so bad? NO. Not at all.

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Oct 27, 2006

what was your <abbr title="Masters in Business Administration

">MBA gpa?

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD...follow the advice at your own risk

Oct 27, 2006

I was doing a steady 3.8 until the start of my second year when I kind of slacked off during the Fall quarter and somewhat into the Winter quarter on account of juggling way too many things, e.g. attending company presentations, mixers, on-campus interviews, off-campus interviews, traveling for interviews etc.

Oct 29, 2006
aadpepsi:

3.2

Shocked? Well, I was a ChemE undergrad. Freakin' tough stuff and all I remember is molarity is moles/ML, "-ene" refers to a double bond and the thumb test you do for isomer compounds. Whatever!

LOL...molarity...shudders...entropy/enthropy!? LOL...

I did A-Level Chemistry so that was the equivalent of first year Chem. Did A-Level Physics too. That totally turned me off engineering and science.

My undergrad GPA is alright at 3.51. It HAS been in an issue with interviewers at times and I know it might be an issue if it goes any lower with B-School apps.

I can understand what you mean by a GPA that trails. My fall semester has been brutalised by recruitment! LOL...

Oct 27, 2006

It's entropy! Disorder is order right?

For undergrads on the board... I got a D in Physics II and had to repeat it and when I repeated it, I got a C. Paid another $3600 bucks to get a C. Sigh. He he he

Hated physics. Haaaaated it. I had way too much personality for physics :-)

Oct 27, 2006

aadpepsi, I was engineering then switched to finance. Engineering classes (esp. physics - got thrown into an advanced course that assumed you took physics in HS which I had not) really hurt my overall GPA. So I feel your pain.

Oct 27, 2006

Hear hear!!

By the time I wanted to, it was too late for me to switch. Made my bed, lied in it. Graduated with BS in Chem. Wasn't so bad in retrospect.

I found my old chemistry goggles a few months ago. I bought a new place, moved, unpacked, needed goggles for painting and using heat gun to strip paint from the 1920's off trimwork... ta da! Also, I have a vintage condo and had to reglaze my bath tub. I used an epoxy compound and did the reglazing myself. (Impressed?) Once a chemist always a chemist?!?

At least I know I'll never be unemployed. Union painters get $30/hr. in Chicago. Not to shabby :-)

Oct 27, 2006

What's the best place to live in Chicago if you're in IB? My buddy lives close to work (1mi. from Wacker) and pays about $1,200/mo. Is that reasonable for a nice 1 bdrm? Do you recommend living close to the financial district or go for a cheaper place in Lincoln Park, etc. with a longer commute (but perhaps more access to daily conveniences)?

Oct 27, 2006

If you're in IB and inevitbly going to work long hours... you want to be able to leave your office, take a short $5-7 cab and be in bed in 15 minutes!

Listen I bought a condo this year in Lincoln Park and I'm not happy, honest. I was in Streeterville for so many years. Much more convenient for my lifestyle. Walking distance to work, theatre and groceries down the street. Life of leisure.

$1200/mo. is totally reasonable for a modern 1 BDRM.

Hey, I'm actually renting out my 2-Bedroom condo for $2,100 interested?!?!

Oct 27, 2006

Ha. A little out of my price range, sorry. Plus I don't have a need for a 2 bdrm, I'm looking for 1 bdrm or a spacious studio most likely. Are their grocery stores, deli's, etc. within walking distance of the FD? Buddy says he takes a $7 cab ride to work in the morning and gets black car home...

Oct 27, 2006

Lucky that you don't have to pay NYC rent...

Oct 27, 2006

You will be fine. Lots of food joints in FD that are open late etc. Also plenty of grocery spots throughout the area.

'Tis true, NYC rent sucks. $2100 would get you what? 400 sq. ft.?

Oct 27, 2006

950 sq ft for $3600/month in Murray Hill

Oct 27, 2006

$3,600 would get you something like this in Chicago!

http://www.coldwellbankeronline.com/CustomModules /Property/PropertyDetail.aspx?Cities=6509&IsMetroProperty=1&MaxPrice =100000&PageNumber=7&PropertyGUID=2F95DB80-0EAA-471A-B0CB-33E38550D8BE &PropertyTypes=CD%2cTW%2cLO%2cRN&SearchPage=1&SortColumn1=ListPrice&Sort Column2=Bed&StateCode=IL

Oct 27, 2006

Well, I am officially putting in a transfer request to the Chicago office...

Oct 27, 2006

Any pics?

Oct 27, 2006

That wasn't so bad, you get a fireplace! However a 1 BDRM for $3,600? No pics of kitchen, so are most kitchens simply too tragic to photograph?

At $3,600, do you guys get roommates? If one person gets the sole bedroom, does part of the living room become a 2nd bedroom for someone else?

BTW, is every Tom, Dick and Harry in NYC a "managing director" including real estate folks?

Oct 27, 2006

My place in Midtown Manhattan is $3800...huge 1 br that we converted into a 3-br. Had to put up 2 walls to do it.

Not ideal (no natural light in the living room, and the two artificially constructed bedrooms are on the small side)...but at the time I got the place, saving some money was rather important.

Oct 27, 2006

if you wanted to save money why did you get a $3800/month apartment?

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD...follow the advice at your own risk

Oct 27, 2006

Well, you guys are never home, so it doesn't really matter.

I'm quite surprised you guys can convert rental units in NYC. Curious... did you guys actually frame the two walls with bolts, drywall etc.? In Chicago you can't even paint some rental units let alone add walls!

Oct 27, 2006

As for kitchens they are extremely small, nothing like you would expect in a normal sized house. The conversion option defintely makes rent a lot cheaper for those who utilize it, although you do sacrifice the living room...so those few times when you can entertain friends it can get cramped.

Oct 27, 2006

Actually, it's a fairly institutionalized process (at least in my building). I looked at the apartment with the super knowing we'd be putting up walls. Building management has a fix-it guy who does this sort of thing all the time.

Terms were: $800 per wall ($1600 total), cash only. And don't tell the IRS.

Have to pay the $1600 again to take them down when I move out.

The travails of being a captive audience.....

Oct 27, 2006

Expensive, in my building it is $1,200 for the year and you can get half back as a sort of security deposit on the wall.

Oct 27, 2006

Yeah, sucks either way.

At least I will have lived there for 2 years by the time I leave, so amortized over the period doesn't seem as bad. That's what I tell myself anyway.

Oct 27, 2006

In NYC you just get used to inflated living expenses, you can't fight them.

Oct 27, 2006

Good god, all those costs. I guess you must do what you must to make life in NYC affordable and enjoyable.

Ok... I can't control myself... I have to ask this question 'cuz it's just too good not to ask:

What do you fella's do when you bring the ladies by for a sleep over? Given the hallow walls you put up and the small rooms? Je je je

Oct 27, 2006

Interesting how this has morphed into a discussion totally unrelated to the original topic.

Anyway, the walls are solid enough to allow sufficient privacy....to answer your question.

Oct 27, 2006

If you interpret "sufficient" as being able to hear everything...then yes the privacy is sufficient. However, I don't think anyone would let the inadequacy of the walls get in the way.

Oct 30, 2006

finace and bussiness

Oct 27, 2006

Very nice conversation gentlemen. I think we about wrapped up nicely there.

Unless anyone else out there has something to add about hallow walls in NYC?

Oct 30, 2006

When the hell did this turn into a craigslist apartment hunting thread?

Oct 30, 2006

I'm wondering the same thing, heh.

Oct 29, 2006

And I thought Toronto rent was killer...

I guess this opened my eyes quite some bit...

Oct 27, 2006

Ha. You rented an apartment from a "Managing Director". I'm laughing my ass off. Only in New York.

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Oct 31, 2006

Here's a nice place in Jo'Burg SA if you guys want to work in my country... http://www.sahometraders.co.za/property.asp?provin... ... I wouldn't recommend it though because of the really high crime rates. But yeah, we have nice houses. You see those highwalls? No one would buy a house in SA without highwalls, barb wire, ultra high security systems etc.

Oct 27, 2006
Wasting Time:

Here's a nice place in Jo'Burg SA if you guys want to work in my country... http://www.sahometraders.co.za/property .asp?province=3&area=34&suburb=399&property=SAHT0628103268 ... I wouldn't recommend it though because of the really high crime rates. But yeah, we have nice houses. You see those highwalls? No one would buy a house in SA without highwalls, barb wire, ultra high security systems etc.

nobody wants to work in ur country....thanks for wasting 10 seconds of my life and helping to derail the thread

Oct 27, 2006

We've covered NYC, Chicago, Jo'Burg SA... how about Argentina??

Anyone on the board from that neck of the woods?

Nov 2, 2006

what is the cheapest, smallest place you can get in NYC near the firms?

Oct 27, 2006

its <abbr title="New York City

">NYC, even for a 4 square foot apartment, you'll be paying 2 grand. The absolute cheapest alternative is getting a roommate or two. Unless you want to commute an hour each way from Brooklyn/Bronx

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD, and has not had an interview yet...

Oct 27, 2006

Get a roommate and a 2-br in #2 Gold Street (if you work downtown). 99% of the first years around Wall Street live there. Nice building, doorman, etc.

Sucks living downtown (I live in midtown, thank God), but it is still cheaper than many alternatives.

And please don't mention the boroughs or NJ on the forum. I mean, c'mon.

Aug 11, 2012
TireKicker:

And please don't mention the boroughs or NJ on the forum. I mean, c'mon.

Pff. Why? I watch all you idiots talk about how much you pay for shitty places in mid-town while I pay 2/3 of what you do for 1/3 more space in Brooklyn Heights. One stop away from downtown, numbnuts.

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.

Oct 27, 2006

yeah I mentioned it more like sarcasm...I mean spending an extra 2 hours commuting when you have so little free time is retarded

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD, and has not had an interview yet...

Nov 6, 2006

los angeles is crazy on rent too..not just NYC

Oct 27, 2006
zosi:

los angeles is crazy on rent too..not just NYC

yeah but LA is in Cali where the prices are nuts to begin with. Not as true for tristate area.

Nov 6, 2006

lol u guys suck:) Go easy on us, we are just trying to make an impression and get the job. I'm sure u know perfectly well that we are just regular kids with fancy words on the resume and love for money and fame. IB industry provides both of those. So just set aside all the crap that we write and look through the lines. No need to make fun about it. U were pretty much the same way

Oct 27, 2006

dub, the kids who got into IB, all have elitist attitudes. Think about it, they went to top schools, or had a 3.9x at a 2nd tier school. Pretty much book worms with no social life.

So don't be suprised that they make fun of any school thats not a top 10.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD, and has not had an interview yet...

Nov 6, 2006

Kids with no social lives wont prosper in this industry

Nov 6, 2006

I totally agree; you need social skills to sell. And that's what this industry is about-selling. Don't ever let the client say no. No matter how smart you were in ur top school if u can't sell u won't make it here.

Oct 27, 2006
dubrdm:

I totally agree; you need social skills to sell. And that's what this industry is about-selling. Don't ever let the client say no. No matter how smart you were in ur top school if u can't sell u won't make it here.

that is NOT what he meant. WOW people are so dumb on here....u think as an analysts u'll be persuading big-shot clients to do this or that? after two years, you are out the door and you will probably will never come back to that firm [this is about analysts, btw]. do not go thinking that you are hired with some sort of implicit hope/expectation that you may one day be witht he firm long enough to take clients out to dinner.

wat he DID mean, tho, is this: analysts, associate, etc are stuck in the same shitty office together for long periods of time. the stress is high to boot, and people get grouchy when they don't get enough sleep. when you're in that situation, you want to be hanging out with someone who's very tolerable and cool and likeable

Has nothing ot do with "sales"

Aug 11, 2012
dubrdm:

I totally agree; you need social skills to sell. And that's what this industry is about-selling. Don't ever let the client say no. No matter how smart you were in ur top school if u can't sell u won't make it here.

not disagreeing with your sell point, but fuck making it in ib.

ib is for losers that couldnt make it on the buyside and work 100 hours for peanuts.

I personally dont mind the whole bullshit cover letter, hr loves that shit.

what personally pisses me off the most is the ceo of random shitty startup. I dont give a fuck what website you did or did not start

Nov 6, 2006

that's crap; ua not there to socialize. You are there to work. Everyone who goes into this industry knows that u'll have to work long hours. If u care so much about who ua surrounded with I doubt u'll be as productive as u would've been when u cared only about how good ur coworkers are in what they are doing. As far as sales, that's what u eventually will be doing after analysts/associates. U'll be SELLING. And u can't sell without a big smile and persuasive language. If u can't get that far, then maybe u should be stuck with no sleep and nonexistant social life as an analyst/associate for the rest of ur life.

Oct 27, 2006
dubrdm:

that's crap; ua not there to socialize. You are there to work. Everyone who goes into this industry knows that u'll have to work long hours. If u care so much about who ua surrounded with I doubt u'll be as productive as u would've been when u cared only about how good ur coworkers are in what they are doing. As far as sales, that's what u eventually will be doing after analysts/associates. U'll be SELLING. And u can't sell without a big smile and persuasive language. If u can't get that far, then maybe u should be stuck with no sleep and nonexistant social life as an analyst/associate for the rest of ur life.

sorry guy, but u already admitted in another thread that you have no idea what i-bankers are looking for when they interview you. so please just stfu

Nov 6, 2006

lol wow, u guys are all so grumpy. Is that cause of lack of sleep and hard work? And ua right, I don't know what i-bankers are looking for, but I'm here to learn, so why don't u please help me?

Oct 27, 2006
dubrdm:

lol wow, u guys are all so grumpy. Is that cause of lack of sleep and hard work? And ua right, I don't know what i-bankers are looking for, but I'm here to learn, so why don't u please help me?

because ur arguing w someone who knows what they're talking bout instead of asking for help, you little buttfucker

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Oct 27, 2006

don't let prospie get to you, he likes to bust balls.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: The post above has been made by someone who is not currently employed in IBD, and has not had an interview yet...

Nov 8, 2006

haha stick to the original subject guys. btw rent here in SF is ridiculously expensive like NYC.

Feb 19, 2012
topgunner:

haha stick to the original subject guys. btw rent here in SF is ridiculously expensive like NYC.

LOL

Oct 27, 2006

What is the quality of life like in SF, I've heard it is very similar to Boston.

Dec 13, 2006

well SF is not cheap either, 2nd only to NYC in cost......but QoL is higher

Patrick Bateman:

What is the quality of life like in SF, I've heard it is very similar to Boston.

Nov 13, 2006

i guess nyc is way too expensive.
come to think of it, if u stay close to work, u wud end up working more and more and staying at home less and less, and eventually ur social life wud be zilch. on the other hand, if u travel from say nj, u wud enjoy the one hr travel to enjoy the cute babe sitting right across u!

Nov 15, 2006

i also heard alot of analysts live in new jersey and commute. is that true?

Oct 27, 2006
kxjiang:

i also heard alot of analysts live in new jersey and commute. is that true?

I know someone who had an internship in IB, and he did just that, commuted to NYC from NJ...its really not the best idea

Nov 15, 2006

I heard you always put the company you are applying for in your objective, this is not the case?

Nov 17, 2006

Ever seen a resume that blows you away to where you feel like shit and wonder if you even deserve your job?

I know it might be unfair to bring in foreign rents, but now I look at Citihabitats and dream of NYC. I live in Hong Kong and pay $5000 a month for 1300 square feet. Not nice conditions either... window unit AC and concrete walls that require wiring to be on the outside of the wall (hidden poorly, though).

Nov 15, 2006

ya if i knew how important GPA was (HR people are retards for taking such stock in that IMO), I wouldn't have taken graduate physics courses.

Nov 17, 2006

I managed to write Citygroup on the top of my resume. I still got the interview, but guess what their first question was...

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Dec 1, 2006

you pay $1800 for 1br, 2600 for 2br

Oct 27, 2006

Kidno1, that doesn't sound right. I pay 2575 for my studio in the financial district. I can't imagine finding a nice 2br on the island for the same amount. You must be talking about Jersey City. Either that or a real rathole.

Dec 4, 2006

i have a 1BR in midtown for $1900. 2 decent sized rooms (about 12X14.5 each), big walkin closet, doorman / Elevator...8 min walk to work.

but OLD OLD building, shitty appliances / kitchen is basically non-existent or part of one wall in my living room w 1970 like appliances (which is fine for me since i don't cook), banging heater at night, an occasional leak in the corner of my bedroom, etc...was paying $1700/mo last year but they jacked it WAY up on me. still a great deal for manhattan though -- great space, great convenience. Luxury 1BRs in financial districts can go for approx $2900 up to sround $4k i think. $2575 for a studio just prob. means that it is a big, luxury studio with a kickass view.

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Oct 27, 2006

Eh, true.

And that is a great deal for Manhattan, you're right. Even with the downsides.

Aug 21, 2007

guys, u are screwing up such a nice thread here, cut offtopic, open another one for GPA and rent issues

MisInd, total respect!

yelllaaa-hoo-hoooooo

yelllaaa-hoo-hoooooo

Sep 27, 2007

haven't gotten all the resumes yet, but here was from the summer. A target kid put his cumulative GPA sans 2004 with an asterisk and a paragraph under the resume explaining his circumstances. I felt for the kid, but he had a 3.4 without that year...im wonderin how much lower it would be.

Nov 18, 2007

alright...you guys are freaking me out...im in the process of applying to all these firms but my cover letter is apparently pretty good.....would you guys mind if i posted my objective here to see if its good or what changes i should consider making? thanks for all the help....

To become a successful investment banker and work for a firm that plays a major role in todayaEU(tm)s financial markets. I seek to be employed for a summer internship where I will have the opportunity to interact with various financial intellectuals.

Nov 19, 2007

Do not put an objective on your resume. End of story.

Nov 19, 2007
Krakauer:

Do not put an objective on your resume. End of story.

no objective needed.

Nov 18, 2007

thanks a lot guys...well apparently the people here are teaching me the wrong thing....but i will erase my objective...it would also give me more space to include other work experience...and also a resume should be limited to one page right, since i am a college junior?? if its longer than one...will recruiters discard it??

Nov 19, 2007

resume should absolutely be no longer than a page. Feel free to squeeze the margins to the hilt, but the moment you break that page mark as a college junior you lose most of your credibility. Agree as above about the "objective" - your objective, provided you didn't hit the wrong button, is to apply for the job for which your resume is being reviewed. There's no point in wasting any space to squeeze in another hackneyed bit of corp-speak

Jul 18, 2008

$4500/ a month
1500 square foot Loft in SoHo

Jul 19, 2008
untitled123:

$4500/ a month
1500 square foot Loft in SoHo

do you share this with anyone..?
if yes, how many roommates do you have?

Aug 22, 2008

Someone wrote on a resume worked 60 hours a week while attending undergrad full time. Is that even possible?

Aug 24, 2008

Are you guys serious about all of this? Some of the stuff seems funny, but it seemed like some people were just being picky in some of these posts. I take it that, in general, "fluff" and whatnot on resumes/cover letters is pointless?

Also, would listing something like "high-energy physics" as an interest be that terrible? I am an electrical & computer engineering major and will be looking for a trading spot next summer at mostly BBs / a few prop shops and smaller places that recruit at my school (SIG, Jane Street, DE Shaw, etc), so I have "computer hardware/software" and "GNU/Linux" under my interests (along with more normal shit like live music, snowboarding, and golf)...should I remove this stuff when applying for the vanilla S&T (not quant) jobs?

One more question: what is your guys take on leaving experience on there from high school/summer after freshman year (I'll be a rising senior next summer)? lol, my boss at my internship last summer (a financial software company you've all heard of) told me to take it off unless I was interested in working in retail or a restaurant, but I thought it showed (1) that I actually worked hard to make money in high school and wasn't just some douche bag who spent all my time taking SAT classes or some shit to try and get into a top school and (2) that I have basic social skills (ended up managing ~15 people at a golf/country club).

If anyone read all that and responds, thanks a bunch in advance!

Aug 24, 2008

take GNU/Linux off (or put it in skills or something, not interests) and anything from college is fair game, leave HS off imo.

Aug 24, 2008
iambateman:

take GNU/Linux off (or put it in skills or something, not interests) and anything from college is fair game, leave HS off imo.

OK, thanks.

Aug 11, 2012
Frank Slaughtery:

take GNU/Linux off (or put it in skills or something, not interests) and anything from college is fair game, leave HS off imo.

You shouldn't comment on things you don't undersand. It makes sense to have it as an interest more than a skill.

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.

    • 1
Sep 28, 2008

I actually addressed a cover letter to the wrong gender, though the person's first name was one of those that could be either a guy or girl. I still got the interview though.

Feb 19, 2012
cunninglinguists:

I actually addressed a cover letter to the wrong gender, though the person's first name was one of those that could be either a guy or girl. I still got the interview though.

Actually that (unless the company did not explicitly address whether the person is Mr. or Ms. and you can't find out easily via google) is an understandable mistake, I think. I suppose you could call and try and get ahold of HR to confirm... but assuming that you don't get a response there, I think people will disregard it.

Nov 16, 2008

i've seen the company's name spelled wrong, person's gender addressed incorrectly, sent to wrong bank (obvious cut and paste that wasn't edited properly) and multiple typos -- how hard is it to run a spell-check and do you really think we'll consider someone whose attention to detail is so blatantly lacking?

the objective section of a resume is the biggest space waster and just looks bad -- obviously you're trying to get a job at our firm no matter how stupid your syntax is in trying to explain that purpose.

also, some of the crap kids try to pass off as relevant experience is just laughable. no offense, but don't mention managing a theoretical portfolio in an IBD resume/interview -- completely irrelevant and illuminates your lack of understanding of what the group does (even if you try to spin it as developing a skill set transferable to ib)

    • 1
Feb 24, 2009

I once heard a friend of a friend put clip art on the cover letter of a guy at his computer.

Feb 25, 2009
GeneralThade:

I once heard a friend of a friend put clip art on the cover letter of a guy at his computer.

A resume I saw last week had, instead of the companies' names typed out, the logo of each company on his resume.

Apr 3, 2009

.

Feb 19, 2012

i was thinking of putting a logo of the firm on my resume kinda like how pitches are formatted (with the client logo on the Master Slide of the ppt)

Feb 19, 2012
Tennis Champ:

i was thinking of putting a logo of the firm on my resume kinda like how pitches are formatted (with the client logo on the Master Slide of the ppt)

Um. No.

Feb 19, 2012

Got an applicant's email forwarded to me by my old boss that was titled "is this guy serious?"

Resume was fine but then saw that the applicant sent it from his personal email account: [email protected]______.com.

Aug 14, 2012
IBeinhopeful:

Got an applicant's email forwarded to me by my old boss that was titled "is this guy serious?"

Resume was fine but then saw that the applicant sent it from his personal email account: [email protected]______.com.

I would make him recite the song from the south park movie at the end of the interview.

Feb 19, 2012
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Feb 19, 2012
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Currently: future psychiatrist (med school =P)
Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)

Aug 11, 2012
Aug 11, 2012
Aug 13, 2012
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Aug 14, 2012
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"When a defining momnet comes alone, you either define the moment or the moment defines you..." - Tin Cup

Talent is hitting a target no one can hit.
Genius is hitting a target no one can see.

Dec 10, 2012
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Memory since 1999.