I've been more of an academic in my life, but was aggressive enough to get a I-banking job. I'm a bit perturbed about the frat-boy atmosphere at most of the banks, since I'm a bit more straight-laced. Any opinions on how I can fit in, rather than a dramatic personality transplant?
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I don't think you will be able to change your personality instantly. If your a geek so be it - why sell out and try to change yourself?
Don't be intimidated by anyone. The mere fact that you're asking this question indicates you're thinking about it too much.
Just be yourself and noone will step to you.
If anyone invites you to go out, say yes rather than declining due to an everquest obligation
Did you get a weggie?
What do you mean by this?
Frat guys are no different than anyone else in the world. You dont have to go out and get hammered and be the life of the party to get some respect, but if you continually turn down offers for drinks and never go out you are gonna gain a rep, and all the negative associations that go with it
wtf is everquest, its world of warcraft these days. OP just be yourself and go out from time to time.
btw putting "beeswax" on your profile already shows why your asking this lol
Just don't go to the bar or club and stand by yourself drinking a Diet Coke.
Plus I'm sure there will be plenty of other dweebs to give you company, IBanks hire a lot of international students.
Cut the crap about international students. I promise you I can hold my own plus some.
Dude Robert, don't do anything you don't wwant to. Stick to a couple of drinks, drink them slowly,you ll be fine. You won't do anything stupid, neither will you have a hangover
I think you're confusing animal house a little too much with the actual frat world. There are people like that at frats, but they usually are still at the frats until they are 30, not working at investment banks.
Relax.
First off, congrats on your offer.
A lot of people in I-Banking are outgoing, often overbearing types. One option is to try and fit in. You don't have to get drunk, but have half a beer with these guys. You are 21+, after all!
Second off, if this still makes you feel uncomfortable, I'd suggest working on an alibi. Sorry for bringing up religion in a professional forum, but IMHO, something that will give you an excuse to drink less and/or not drink at all is that you're religious. Most people will respect and understand that- as long as they don't think you disapprove of what they're doing. If you PM me, I can give you a few good churches in Manhattan that will give you a good excuse to not drink without actually brainwashing you or getting into politics, but I'm going to slink out of the whole public religion issue, now.
You have to train yourself to enjoy hanging out with people at a bar. It'll feel unnatural at first, but you'll get used to it. Again, you don't have to get drunk; you just have to hang out.
Thanks.
you need to get out more...
being academic doesn't mean you are a loser/hermit. you obviously showed enough personality to get an offer, so don't worry about a thing.
it's cool to be you, like yourself, don't judge others, and things will flow just fine
can't force a new personality right away, but you can grow into one over time. being sincere is key
did i just write that crap?
Play it all the time while recovering the copious wedgies I get.
My real concern is I don't think I'm in the same league in terms of partying AND working.
Here's an example - before sell day, went out with some of the associates and analysts. Wild night, these guys knew how to party, some of them got blasted. I don't drink heavily, which got noticed, but am not about to start drinking just for I-banking (personal reasons which I wont' discuss here). What's more impressive is that these same guys showed up to work fully functional - which is something I cannot do - I know my limits.
If you need to drink a lot you can always puke it up in the toilet LOL. I only ever did that once after downing a bottle of JD to impress some russians who gave it to me (don't ask why I was pissed by then). Surprisingly it really does work and u feel fine next day, a few mates swear by that tactic on heavy nights. On a slightly more serious note if you drink often enough your tolerance goes up. That's how those guys were fine the next day.
Find your inner frat boy RobertSon. You must find medium between butterfly and gorilla! Be self, but you must be like snake in jungle. Very dangerous, why? because snake blend in, kill small baby analysts without disturbing Associates and Managing Directors in office down hall from you...
Wax on...Wax off...
Hai, Vadremc-san. I get hope from the fact that you seem to have listened to Eye of the Tiger more than I have....
Do you look like a dweeb/dork/etc. ?
If so, change your posture, change your suit/tie/shirt, maybe a gay watch? change that too.
That would be nursing the beer. No comment.
I do notice that type of shit and I call people out on it. Seriously, if you're a guy and you can't get wasted once in a while then you need to reassess your priorities.
That said, I really enjoy the taste of a good Lager, and I don't even mind the feeling that beer gives me. I just don't like that feeling of getting so buzzed that you lose all sense of reason and risk doing stupid stuff.
Well, I guess that is a good tactic if you're chatting up drunk sorority sluts trying to get in their pants, but if you're just standing around doing nothing then you might as well get wasted I think.
But to each his own.
I've never done it, but I'm almost certain that getting drunk with business friends is a recipe for disaster for me.
My apologies. I thought you were referring to a completely social environment.
I would not get wasted with office people either. It's just tacky. But the difference is I can drink a lot without even getting a buzz.
Yeah dude, real asshole move.
If you are in banking, all the social interaction you will get is with your co-workers. So if you dont drink with them, you don't drink at all.
1.) In an online environment. 2.) Surrounded by ultra-competitive people who often appear absolutely perfect at work.
Yeah, high tolerance is kind of a problem. Im a junior now, and Ive definitely started slacking on the drinking. I never though I would be one to mellow out when I was a freshman, but things have changed I guess.
Tolerance is still a problem though. Hopefully as I start drinking less, my tolerance will go down.
is a good thing, expensive, but good
u can play beer pong all night
if you can't frat out, you won't make it up the ladder and get promoted. they'll usuallly just keep you sitting around as associate or maybe if you're lucky VP. you'll see a lot of people who can't frat out that are stuck at these ranks.
ask yourself, is it worth it not to be fratty?
Sad, But True. Very True.
Also, it depends on your group's culture and the people there. My roommate last summer was a typical frat kid (starter on an Ivy League soccer team and ultra-competitive), but wouldn't drink because he figured it was unhealthy. He was at a front-office desk in IBD. Get enough other folks in your division like him, and parties will be very boring.
Mirror, mirror on the wall Who's the frattiest of them all ?
I usually beat up people who don't drink and just stand around at parties. They're like sitting ducks to me.
One day, you'll challenge a dweeb to a drinking game, and he'll take you on and win.
The odds of a non drinker beating a regular one at a drinking game are slim to none for tolerance reasons. I would have to hope you knew that.
Anyone who can't frat out is not going to make MD, simple as that.
Just wanted to point out that MidwesternBumpkin has to be one of the biggest douchebags on this board
Just wanted top point out that insightful, interesting comments like yours are truly useless. Get back to popping your pimples, and post when you have something to contribute, not pure disparagement.
Y'all have no clue sbout the industry.
Don't underestimate the impact of social relationships in a successful career. But its never about swilling beer frat house style. If you stick around long enough, you will need to make connections with CEOs/CFOs. These are done over art, common charitable causes, golf, kids schools, etc. A successful banker will come off as smooth, mature, sensitive, responsible and distinguished, and absolutely not like an immature frat boy.
At the analyst level, from my perspective, I care a lot more that your comps are right, your shoes are shined, and you tell me whether there's a problem I need to know about than whether you go drinking with the guys.
Best advice - you are a first year analyst - just shut up and do work. Smile and DO WORK.
What about visits to certain establishments? How can one decline invitations to visit them wihout anoying people (I'm not a prude by any means but I draw the line somewhere)?
Tell them you're gay.
Now that is funny.
You draw the line at strip clubs? as above said, you really must be gay
miswesternblumpkin you must be one of the worst human beings alive. I can just tell you are terrible. If the kid sucks nobody will want to go out with him. Do your work and go home.
Just for the record- the word "frat" is not fratty. Everybody actually in (a good) one calls it a fraternity.
I am not sure which is worse: calling it a "frat", or calling guys in your fraternity your "brothers". Both should be avoided.
At my house, brothers in the house can call it a frat, but outsiders may not. If an outsider calls it a frat, you are always to use the "would you call your country a cunt" line, especially if you are a pledge.
shut up you goddamn sigep
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