I've been paying close attention recently to what the people who advance quickly in their career have in common, and what the people who are stuck in the same role for years have in common.
One insight I had was that the people who are stuck in the same role for years and decades are no different than guys who get friendzoned by a girl.
Committing to the Friendzone Forever
Every guy, no matter how confident, wealthy, attractive, successful, or smooth, has been rejected by a girl. The biggest difference is that the real studs don't let themselves get friendzoned. They stop wasting time on the girl and start looking for a different one. They know to cut their losses and not be pathetic. In business, those are the guys who, when they are finally eligible for a promotion, stop at nothing to find that promotion. They don't stay in the same role for years, dreaming about getting promoted in-place. They move on and look anywhere and everywhere for that next role.
The "friendzoned" employee thinks that loyalty will eventually get him that promotion. That someday the company will wake up and realize the manager of their dreams was there the whole time, waiting for years as a loyal analyst. They resent "that douche Chad" who came in, got the sweet signing bonus, got some quick experience and moved on to a director role somewhere else. No, they've been loyal through thick and thin, and eventually the company will reward them.
Looks vs. Brains
Guys forever stuck in the friendzone seem to think that if they are nice and smart and spend enough time, that hot girl they've been crushing on will eventually fall for them. They are constantly upset when the girl goes for the good-looking, smooth talking guy. They think girls are shallow for basing everything on looks. In the business world, we see guys who are good at their job but have no sense of dressing professionally and no skill at public speaking and managing. In relationships almost everything is up to your confidence and how interesting you are, but none of that matters if you don't pass a certain level of grooming and presentability. In business, you might be amazing at your job, but if you aren't someone who "looks the part" and can make a good representation of your team in front of senior management, you are not getting promoted.
And sure, just as there are ugly/unconfident girls who go for the unconfident/unkempt guys, there will be some company that promotes an experienced buffoon. But if you want to bag the real 10, you have to look the part.
Constant Bitching and Complaining
We've all seen those impassioned posts on social media where someone talks about their woes of being forever alone, of being that shoulder to cry on, and of always getting ignored and friendzoned. How they are a nice guy and apparently "nice guys finish last". How do you spot a guy in the friendzone? He'll tell you. The "nice guys" are, interestingly enough, the most vehement and vocal about how shallow they think women are.
In business, you can tell very quickly who the disgruntled, 20-year senior analyst is. They like to make it known how experienced they are, and how this company doesn't value experience and is always promoting a select group of high-potential employees. Just as guys don't realize that their constant bitching about the friendzone makes them toxic to women, employees seem to have no clue that their complaining about the company only removes their last, tiny chances of getting promoted.
What are your thoughts, monkeys? Any other correlations between friendzoned guys and friendzoned employees? Or about how Chad always gets the ladies and also lands that sweet new job?
Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #37 (based on # of silver bananas)