Height League Table - The Ultimate Scorecard in Life & Dating - Let's end this!!!!!
This is gonna be a rant. Enough with all the height posts lately, I'm sick of all the insecure dudes that moaning about what's absolutely out of their control.
"I'm 5'x'', am I too short?" Yes you fuck you're short, if your height starts with 5, it reeks the high potential of receiving an invitation to join the legion of inceldom.
No not because you're physically short, because the fact you care so much about height exudes fragility and insecurity, jesus even if I am a man I can tell if a dude is insecure about his height and has a negative relationship with his body, for fuck sake why the hell should a woman be comfortable being around you, when you don't even want to be you?
Remove soy from our diet dickheads, have more redmeat and increase your testosterone.
You're 5'7, fine, you're 5'11, fine, you're 6'3, fine.
Like seriously what the fuck if you're short then your candidate pool will be smaller that's the fucking reality, stop wasting energy on try to figure out a grand scheme to convince the opposite sex to not discriminate you for your height. What???
Here's the scorecard, look at this shit and stop complaining, unbelievable bitch energy.
• 6'+: Alright this is good, just like having a 4.0 GPA when applying to banks. You have enough grey matter to perform highly complex cerebral tasks like switching tabs on excel model by shortcut. Summa cum laude and working as 1st yearRX, potential of top bucket monkey, this is perfect, this is how the world should be. If your face / health department is good, consider make a trip to the nearest sperm bank, on behalf of human race, I appreciate your good deeds.
• 5'10-11: This is like 3.8-3.9 GPA, these fuckers always overthink about that A- on their transcript that drags their whole GPA down by 0.1 point. Listen here you fucker, how about just acting like you're 6'? Nobody really cares except you. Also chicks are not very good measuring, so get over it, do not complain and start getting results. If your height is in this bracket and you somehow still manage to open your mouth to whine, then you're a pathetic sack of shit.
• 5'9: This screams 3.5 GPA to me, half A half B mediocre shit, however still pass computer screening when you apply online. This might pass chicks' threshold, just add 2 inches into your real height and wear lift on your first date, she wouldn't notice. The whole point is to fuck her, equivalent of squeezing your way into the investment bank, once you achieve it, 3.5 or 4.0, doesn't fucking matter. Once you get the chick to sleep with you, she's emotionally invested, and you better take a lead of the relationship like man. On first date (the interview), just make sure you nail the technicals (you know how to make love), nail the(good personality, make her laugh), then it should be smooth sailing.
• Sub 5'7: Ok this is like having less than 3.0 GPA. No you're not gonnawhat the fuck? Best you can do is ramping up your social capital, do aggressive networking and you might sneak your way into a regional boutique working on LMM pitch, now you can add "Investment Banking Analyst at Bucket shop" into your Linkedin, make a post, see the likes and go jerk off. And that's good, that's totally fine. Now translating to dating landscape, you're not gonna score chicks with 500k+ followers on instagram, unless you're coming from a position of power like that short guy ex-KGB who's running Russia. Or Tom Cruise. Make compromise, aiming for less competitive holes, then you might be able to put your dick into one. A well educated, compliant, 6.5/10 in looks, should be good enough for you. Or you can fuck off to South East Asia to get a wife (and please not come back!).
Last but not least, let me breathe a bit to lower my blood pressure, ok, here's the last words for you: Fuck you. Do not attempt to make my blood boil once again with shitty height posts, look at the scorecard above, and act accordingly. Your body is the reservoir of your soul, learn to have a positive relationship with it, a rusty reservoir will contaminate whatever it contains. You can weaponize your body by hitting the gym and do MMA, make yourself an apex predator with the capability of exerting lethal force, or at least make you Sonic to have the stamina and speed to dash away from danger. Swear to god if I could, I would send every single one of you height complainers to Afghanistan.