Most people who visit this site are very ambitious overachievers, here is something to put that into perspective. Its kind of scary thinking about the things we sacrifice for a tomorrow that is never promised. This guy is a student at Cornell and was, when he was in better health, one of the top athletes in the United States. I think he's something like 22 years old, got in a car accident and came out unharmed. When they did a precautionary MRI/Cat scan they identified tumors.
Honest Truths
May 14, 2009
Published by Adam under Uncategorized
I’m pretty discouraged. My numbers go down, and they tell me its not working according to their judgement. What the hell. I went to the doctors today for a “fast appointment.” I wanted to get in, out and just whatever. My mother, who has a hard time keeping her mouth shut at times prodded question after question for two and a half hours. I swear the infernos of hell cannot be that bad. I got to sit there and get a detailed description of how I am probably going to die. It freakin sucks. It all sucks. You want me to be honest, I’ll be honest. I’m done with the positive, I have not very long to live from most professionals, and I feel ripped off, cheated, stressed, and everything else. I feel pains and most of the time, my life is a living hell. All that hard work to get screwed. I cannot even say that hard work and values work in this world, because they don’t. I busted my ass as hard as the next person, and for what? The average death row inmate lives longer than I do. Most live 15-20 years…after being sentenced. Ironic isn’t it?
I had dreams, aspirations, I wanted to be president. I wanted to be a father. Maybe even graduate college. That is slowly going to hell in a hand basket. And please, don’t tell me to fight, or be positive, or any of that stupid bull$#%&. This is something you cannot fight. You just sit there and take it and hope it works. A lot of times I wish I could be put down, just humanely euthanized like an old dog. I’m not that lucky, I get to go through organ failure, hospitals, being hooked to tubes, the whole bit. It sucks.
I asked for the big chemo guns again, they won’t give them to me. I asked to fight it. What I got was a notion of being a lab rat experiment again…if I even get in. I pray, plead and beg, yet I don’t know what his plans are. Nothing looks good. I can’t put the facade on much more. Reality is reality. It hurts, it sucks, I wish I had my life back. I probably would have had more fun instead of working for the future. My future seems destined for a box.
Its just a waste. I feel like everyone thats been there, helped me along, all my hard work, just pointless. If I was told a while ago that I was going to die so young, I would have had more fun, hung out with more friends, did so much different. I wouldn’t have worked so hard for things that will probably have no effect. I need a miracle. I believe in them, I just am beginning to doubt that they are for me.
I guess there still is hope, and I know three fourths of you will take it as such. I have hope, just also a heavy dose of reality. I doubt the three fourths of you have had people look you in the face and tell you that cancer was going to kill you, and how. Tell you matter-of-factly that some people just die form these things. Some people, healthy, never smoked, worked out regularly, smart, hardworking, just get screwed over at 23. Its a freakin blast. I get spared from a car wreck to die a miserable cancerous death…I guess that jerk who commented on how I was going to die was right. Go figure. Of course there are things that may prolong my life, and I am going to do them as they come hoping one of them will fully work. It just is a longshot, and its out of my hands. Fighting is pointless, you can’t fight something like this. You can take the drugs, stay in shape, do whatever, but fighting it, that is impossible.
Well, yeah I am sure this is not what everyone wanted to read as their daily inspiration, but to be quite honest, I am not that inspiring.
God Bless,
Adam Frey
I read a few posts on his blog as well--a very sad story. I cannot even imagine how it must feels to be in his shoes at such a young age dealing with deadly cancer.
He’s brave to face reality, instead of living in a world where everything will be alright. Not sure if I should share this, but I was diagnosed with cancer (not going to say which kind) at the age of 13. They detected it fairly early, so I was fortunate. I got away without one chemotherapy session, although I had to go through surgery. I know what it feels like to lie in the hospital, thinking about your life (I was a very introspective 13 year old), and wishing you could get it back. You can look down the hospital window ( I was in Toronto General, Downtown) at all the people, seeing them rush by with their coffee, shoving people aside. I remember thinking “wow, they’re just taking life too fast, what if they die tomorrow, they won’t have anything but that corner office, and a big paycheck.” And I still think the same way. People are too busy looking at little parts of their life, and they don’t realize how fragile it really is. Put our hand to your heart, and feel it beating. Now think: If that thing stops beating, you’re gone. There’s no graduation for you, no models and bottles, no investment banking, no nothing. Focus on what you have, instead of what you don’t have. My surgery was in December, and I spent the days leading up to Christmas in a dreary hospital. My gift to myself was a little perspective on life. Obviously, I can't speak for this guy, but I wish him all the best.
http://morningcereal.wordpress.com/ Morning Cereal.
I buried several friends in their early twenties while I was in the Marines. Had a couple of really close calls myself, too. It really gives you perspective.
I remember promising myself many times that, if I survive this, I'm just gonna tear the ass out of life. By many measures, I've been able to do that.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
Leave it all on the field, boys...
Wow. That really puts a lot into perspective. Here I am sweating about taking the L1 on Saturday... when in the grand scheme of things, my "stress" is just that... "stress," surrounded by quotation marks.
Here's to living life like every day could be your last. We really can't take a single day for granted. Call your mothers, fathers, grandparents - just let them know you love them. I'll be praying for this guy.
I like that EB.... tear the ass out of life. Well said.
This reminds me of a video I found last year that really changed my perspective of life.
man, do we really want banking. we´ll work 100 hours and when it comes time to enjoy our success it will be to late. if this would happen to me i would feel the same way. most of us in this forum worked so hard to be where we are and we whine about not having more, about not getting that stupid internship. I felt i lost my future when they revoked the offer, but the truth is that i do have a future. so do all those that get into an MM instead of a BB, or those that get any job. They breathe, they plan, they have people that love them or will have them eventually.
we only live once, and even though it sounds as such a cliché, we really do live once. if we dont do a phd because of opportunity cost, or because we wont make as much as that guy in wallstreetoasis that likes to talk about his suits, his cars and how mediocre everyone else then we wont have another opportunity later in life. i´ve been reading some books lately, nothing spiritual, and i have been thinking about "time" a lot and how I am, as well as many other overachievers are,wasting life, wasting the opportunity we've been given to breathe, procreate and love. I decided to live far from people i care of just because i care a lot about "my future". But as the OP says, what IF my present is the only future i will ever have...
This story is very sad, but it will not change my perspective.
It is true that my life right now is pretty damn miserable. Need to study extra hard to keep that 3.9, need to do part-time internship while at school, need to network, need to study WSP/GMAT/CFA L1. Unfortunately, prestigious, high-paying jobs that satisfy our ambitions and interests require a lot of sacrifices, as well as trade-offs. I think most of my fellow monkeys are in the same boat.
P.S.: my grandpa had 2 blood-strokes and 1 hear-attack, he is still alive somehow, but his son, my uncle, died because of heart-attack when he was 32. A lot of men from my mother's side of the family had problems with heart, and I know sooner or later something will happen to me too.
There is a class of people that live and move among us every day who go largely unnoticed, and they prefer it that way. They fight and they sacrifice everything, even their lives, and never ask for so much as a thank you. In fact, they often get embarrassed when someone does single them out for thanks. They don't fret over gpa's and think their lives are going to shit if they don't land a plum internship. Most of them will go on to live the sort of blue collar existence that would be viewed as abject failure by most on this board.
If you're looking for real perspective, do yourself a favor and see this movie.
“Why in an age when so many have acted only in pursuit of narrowest self-interest have the soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines of this generation volunteered all that they have on behalf of others… Why have they been willing to bear the heaviest burden?”
– President Barack Obama, Memorial Day 2009
Jesus Christ Edmundo, every day I learn something new from you. Already downloading the movie. Thanks for sharing, I love these types of movies.
A kid from my high school (same class of 2006) got in every possible target school members of this forum could dream of. He was also a hell of a good football player and had 2nd highest GPA among guys. He joined Naval Academy. He said Harvard MBA will always be there for him in case he'll change his mind.
From another post on his blog:
"One of my favorite quotes of all time is from my favorite movie of all time, V for Vendetta. "
Ehhhh...
Anyway, not sure why we should really care about this. Yes, it really sucks that young people die of cancer, but I don't see his situation as being materially worse than that of the billions of people on this planet who live in abject poverty. It blows that his dreams are likely to be cut short by cancer, which cuts millions of dreams short every year, but if this young man's troubles put things into perspective for anyone, then you really have not been paying attention during your time on this earth.
Stop being so arrogant and up yourself. People emphatise most with those who are most similar to themselves for the obvious reason that it's easier to imagine being in their shoes. For that reason the post is a good one and as the op mentioned, one that should hit home for many on the board.
I've personally been exposed to the poverty you mention due to the places I lived growing up and one thing I can tell you is that the people are in general not that much more miserable than you average suburban westerner. Yes, their lives are harder and they suffer more but they usually aren't miserable and in fact probably enjoy life's main pleasures more than the person that has everything.
Coming off my tangent and back to the thread my personal awakening came with the death of an immediate family member. Before that I was probably like the majority of people on this board who were really into making big bucks, the prestige, always living in the future to a pretty rediculous extent that I was probably like the guy in click in that had you given me an rc to skip forward a year I'd probably have pressed the button. In the period after the event however I think I've probably gained an understanding of life and what matters which would otherwise have probably taken me a decade to accumulate otherwise. I still like money and living comfortably, am unfortunately still a sucker for a bit of prestige and nice clothes every now and then though I have now come to understand the true value of time, which cheesy as it sounds, is the most valuable thing we have being young. I try to stop myself making grand plans and just live for the moment, if I have a spare moment I'll go for a stroll round the block, I'll drag myself out of bed slightly earlier on the weekend to go away or do something interesting rather than downing that last vodka redbull at 4am, well okay admittedly on that last one I don't always succeed.
Anyways my point is just don't become one of those loser workaholics for whom their job is their life, no matter how hard it is try and have some outside interests and enjoy the money you make properly.
"Stop being so arrogant and up yourself."
What?
"People emphatise most with those who are most similar to themselves for the obvious reason that it's easier to imagine being in their shoes. For that reason the post is a good one and as the op mentioned, one that should hit home for many on the board."
I guess most people on the board are smug, self-satisfied, vain and narcissistic, so your point is well taken.
"I've personally been exposed to the poverty you mention due to the places I lived growing up and one thing I can tell you is that the people are in general not that much more miserable than you average suburban westerner."
Yeah, having no food or clean water and watching your children die of tuberculosis or malari because you have no access to medicine and live in a nation whose government is either insane, incompetent or corrupt just screams "good times" to me. Or were you talking about the poverty that lines the Hana Highway? Because with such great surfing nearby I could imagine being poor and "not miserable."
"Yes, their lives are harder and they suffer more but they usually aren't miserable and in fact probably enjoy life's main pleasures more than the person that has everything."
Very philosophical. I still maintain that this post can only provide perspective to those who aren't paying attention.
Yes Juwanna Mann, you are correct. I should have listed at the top of my post, this is only intended for the ignorant masses, it is of little value to the enlightened ones.
If it didn't really strike you as anything in particular, that great. No one gives a shit how fuckin aware you are of the suffering in the world.
I'm very sorry about your siblings dying of tuberculosis, and your mother being raped by the savage foot soldiers of the current dictator.
I'm so fed up with suburban douche bags crying about how no one knows the sufferings of the world but them. What'd you grow up in a tin hut in Vietnam? Cuz I grew up in a termite mound in Malawi. So fuck off.
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