Hey guys,
I need some advice here. I work at a mid sized office with about 50 employees total. A girl from another team recently broke up with her boyfriend and has hinted that she is down a few times with flirty texts and being touchier than a co-worker should be at a work retreat.
She lives slightly outside of the city and told me she is coming to the city to go out tonight and invited me to come out with her and basically asked if she could crash at my place after.
She is basically the girl that everyone wants to fuck at the office. What should I do?
Thanks bros
I wouldnt risk losing a job over a hot coworker. Not worth it.
I would risk losing a job over a hot coworker. Worth it.
1.5 years after making this post, my office has officially hired a few baddies, I will report back my results.
I did it and it was worth the risk.
I did it. No regertz.
Why do you even have this chic's phone number where she can send you "flirty texts" in the first place?
I mean, 50 people is a decently small office. Plenty of work-related reasons to have somebody's phone number.
Lol right? I wouldn't think of this as atypical
For me, the question boils down to whether the awkwardness of having to work together once you stop sleeping together / seeing each other outweighs the satisfaction you would get from boning her. Worst case scenario is that the girl turns out to be a psycho and you have to see her every day or even worst, work with her everyday and you can imagine how that can turn out. So yeah, have a real think about whether its worth it or not. Personally, I see no issue with boning coworkers as long as there's a bit of distance within the organization.
Does she work for you? Does she she work in the same group? If no, then yes.
This is a stupid question, it doesn't sound like you can handle this emotionally so you might as well not do it.
is she a subordinate?
is she a superior?
do you work in the same office?
do you ever work on projects together?
how often did you see each other pre-breakup?
if she's a subordinate or a superior, just say no. only if she's the same level as you or close should you consider this. all kinds of HR issues if there's any appearance of sex for power here. if you work in the same office or on projects together, if it doesn't affect the work, then by all means, but I'd tread carefully.
from a practical standpoint, this girl is vulnerable. she just went through a breakup, and likely views you as a rebound (good for you), but I don't think you should come on too strong, because if she's looking to rebound and then gets back to your place and starts having regrets, you do NOT want that office experience. certainly feel free to flirt back, but under no circumstances should you be pushy, you have to go to work together. imagine her repeating things you're saying to other females in the office, that should be your guide on what to/not to say.
ideal situation: you go out (no reason not to), have a great time, she wants to come back to your place, you get the sense she wants it, you make a move, have a good time, smile about it the next morning. what you don't want is your little head turning you into an idiot and making you a little more aggressive than you should be in the pursuit. if she wants it, she'll make it known. be interested, but not desperate.
finally, expect that word gets around, your coworkers will find out, you can't sneak around forever. anticipate your boss asking you. just say something like "she's a really cool girl, we don't have any projects together, and when we're at work, it's strictly work. if you believe it's affecting my performance, please let me know, but right now my job is the most important thing."
godspeed
This is perfect advice. Heed this OP.
Godbless you. This is great bro advice.
She is same level as me, we dont really work on any projects together and we don't have an HR office where I work.
I think I might just go for it.
absolutely, just realize that everyone is going to find out and act accordingly. if the box is bomb, you'll be glad you did.
Fortune favors the bold. Do it.
I probably would have a few years back when I was single... My real reason for commenting was to express disbelief that someone working at a PE shop would 1) get this excited about banging an 8.5-9.0 or 2) would rather risk their job (even at a low % probability) for a sure lay rather than just manning up and hitting on some chicks.
Really? All my friends who work in PE are nerdy asian dudes. Not exactly the models and bottles type. Granted, 2) is definitely true. People working in PE are probably smart enough (generally) to not shit where they eat.
I see your point - I guess I was just thinking that, if the context is that there's no long term prospect for a relationship with the coworker, you can 100% get an 8.5 interested in you with PE money even if you're socially awkward etc. If the OP is fantasizing about the prospect of a FWB or romantic relationship, that's a different story.
1) Who would not get this excited about banging a really hot chick? Wtf man
2) I broke in out of undergrad so it wasn't as long of a grind as most to get into PE. Also, once you break in and get a few deals under your belt it becomes way less stressful to lose your job because you have a pretty solid skill set and knowledge of deals/industries that other PE firms value. This might not be accurate, but I feel like its not too hard to find another gig once you have done a PE gig, so I am not too stressed out. Also the chances of getting fired for this are pretty fucking slim imo, as per other comments in the thread.
1) Well, to state the obvious - someone who does it regularly? It's one thing to get excited / act proud in the moment or with your friends the next day, but if you have at least 2 of money / social skills / good looks, the prospect of banging an 8.5 shouldn't be anything to write home (or WSO) about.
2) If you're not worried about being unemployed or having to take a much shittier job, not sure what the point of this whole post was (other than to set yourself up to brag about getting laid, which I totally get). As it happens, I disagree with pretty much everything you said in your #2 comment, but it doesn't see worth having a debate about.
Updates OP? Keep us posted bro!!!
Done deal!
Let me guess.. you had dinner with her?
live a little
Different team. Do it
pics or GTFO !
Just keep going along with her plans but don't make any first moves yourself as far as escalation goes. Let her do all the work and move-making and pretend like you're reluctant so if it backfires it's not actually your fault. Plausible deniability - a woman's game usually but in this case the strategy can be borrowed...
Dont do just nothing. Alternate between escalation after work, but notch it down at the office.
Giving something so subjective a half point scale ("8.5-9/10") in a forum of people you don't know is like ... [insert simile here] - lolled hard
Hope you do it. Banging an intern was one of the best decisions I've made in my life.
Rising junior summer ftw
"Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"
Does she have friends? This is a classic gateway friend because hot girls have hotter friends!
Do you just want to smash one or smash everyone minus one? Do the math.
This is very rationale thinking. However, after a few gin tonics, you tend to want to smash the one right in front of you, asap.
She married?
Gents,
I have officially fucked a co-worker. It was awesome, now hopefully she doesn't make it weird when we bump into each other at the office. I think it was mutually understood that we wouldn't be speaking about this to other co-workers. No regrets, yet.
I'd post pics, but I'm pretty sure that could get me in trouble.
Thanks everyone
Get off wso and go in for round 2
So did you smack that ass and go balls deep?
Congrats on the sex
Please tell me you weren't her first. LOL. Certainly not her last!
Send her signals and take Monday off.
This. Nonchalantly ask if she's got plans tonight. Then go ahead and give the WSO advisory team/knowledge base a trifecta to brag about.
Don't forget to casually grab the ass at work when no one is looking. Bitches love that shit.
Dude.....she just broke up which means probably not on the level right now. Honestly ask yourself, how can this end good? 50 people in your group...not a lot. If it's a one time pickle tickle then you may be okay, but there is the risk that she will go off the hinges, and you're going to be kicking yourself. Be careful and realize your dick is a third base coach who is always waving you to go for home plate.
I fully believe in OP's ability to hold a leash
Don't shit where you eat.
Did you ejaculate inside of her?
Time to update your resume with a new work experience
I think you should be fine as long as you keep the working relationship professional.
There is no reason for you to lose your job even if everyone finds out as long as you maintain your professionalism at work.
Fucking it's fucking working it's working.
Update: I think you no longer require my advice, someone please fix the iOS app it shows no timestamps
Only 2 years late
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