My company is thinking about coming back into the office in June/July and honestly I’d rather quit than come back. I’m the youngest in the office and because of that, I have to act professional all the time. Is this normal to have to put on a facade all the time or is my work culture just not a fit for me?
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yeah think the majority of people do. office politics. I cant stand it and definitely struggle with it.
can't stand brown noser's either.
thats part of the reason I will start my own business in a few years.
It’s not a crime to have a personality but you have to remain professional in the work environment. Feel free to crack an appropriate joke or two, or to talk about your favorite sports team.
Save the crazy stories from your weekend for your friends out of work.
Re: Sycophants — they exist in every workplace. Who knows, your boss might hate them as much as you do. The thing is, everyone has to remain professional and cordial even if they think their colleague is a humungous douche canoe.
Agreed. I try and see the edgiest joke someone’s made, then take a few large steps back when I decide if something is safe for work.
Sports/travel/weather are good water cooler chat, which often lets you buddy up with people and then you can start opening up more.
Just my 2 cents
Not unless you’re woke.
no, I'm not able to be my true unfiltered self. I can't get philosophical with idiots, can't talk about recreational drug use with clients (may or may not be in the past), racial issues with anyone (because I don't toe the line), or talk about how foolish most financial data actually is with anyone.
that said, I don't go to work for that, I have friends, family, and a wife for that. work is work, I love what I do, and it gives me most everything I want (except fuggin compliance and insurance training GUH). as you get more confident, the facade will wear off. you will always have to be professional, polite, tactful, and appropriate, but the "facade" will become less and less of an issue the further you advance.
disclaimer: I've never done office politics as I've always been a revenue generator so you're kinda separate from that. I probably wouldn't be employed if I had to navigate that, so your experience may be different from mine
I'd say it's pretty normal to have a professional facade at work that isn't my true self. As I've gotten older and built more of my life outside of work, it's gotten better.
Though it’s been some time since I’ve last been in an office, I thought overall I was able to be myself
stfu broo....
lol
When I worked in construction I could barely hold a casual conversation with my colleagues because the cultural differences were so great. I'm pretty sure for the first project I was on (which lasted 18 months), the only thing me and the rest of the team had in common was we were men. The next team wasn't as bad, but I was always much closer with the architects than my colleagues, one of the big reasons I left the industry. I'm not 100% of where my current colleagues are at since I started virtually and haven't had too much time for small talk, but from what I've seen so far it'll be better. I definitely don't shy away from being who I am, I will freely discuss my thoughts on a variety of topics even if people disagree with them, the sole exception being politics. It just isn't worth it.
I had a similar experience with construction. I enjoyed holding conversations with the architects quite a lot. The guys on the job site- never really connected. I could not hold a single conversation about literally anything with them.
They’d rotate between which “golf chick” they’d all bang, Trump/ QAnon bs, and how much they hated their wives. It was weird.
based
I feel the opposite. Anyone with a pinch of relationship management skills can find things to talk about with people of vastly different socio-economic and educational strata. You don't have to be an expert in modern stock car racing or be able to list the members of World Championship Wrestling's nWo stable during the summer of 1998, but if you can't find at least some common ground between you and the blue collar or working poor--at least enough to have a single conversation about something (sports, food, movies, etc.)--you might just be socially awkward and/or a snob.
Not really as my group isn't very ethnically diverse... all white men
Tbh would recommend making sure you’re pretty much always remaining professional in the office at your/our level. MDs and EDs can do what they want and it’s fine (within societal limits) because they’re your boss.
Am having to work with a cocky as hell analyst a year below me atm, who is not only absolutely awful at his work but has basically no manners or sense of humility.
I run my own business and I can't be myself either to varying degrees. There's one me for dealing with tenants, another me for dealing with contractors, another me for dealing with clients, and so on. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I just say a lot less than I think. So it's that form of repression. But it's farrrrr less stifling than when I had to sit in a corporate environment where neither my real self nor any of my fake selves could ever be accepted.
I think it is true though that we tend to have more in common with any given person than we think. So if you focus on that instead of your differences, it's a lot easier to build rapport and win people's trust.
Now I'm thinking - am I even fully myself with my wife? I'm not even fully myself here. Am I even fully honest with myself? Nah no way. Nobody can know how crazy I truly am. I'm doing a fantastic job of holding it together. You people don't even understand the half of it.
haha nice
don't take this the wrong way, one of my closest friends is also Ukrainian, I know exactly what you mean. he'll give glimpses of what's in there sometimes, and it's always interesting, but I can tell he keeps a lot bottled up
There is a baseline standard of acceptable behavior in an office environment. You are allowed to have personality, but it is probably not a cultural fit for you if you are the youngest by a wide margin. Personally, I need to be around at least 1-2 people near my age to make a place tolerable but I know others who could care less.
I'm a face behind many masks, save your unfiltered self online (anonymously) or with close friends and family
No, and don't even try. With hate speech constantly being redefined you never know what can come back and hit you (some video of you making a joke goes viral a social media). Anything you say can be interpreted the wrong way, and HR is there to protect the company, not you, never forget that. Also know, these days, your behavior away from the office can impact your employment status (which is why you should consider deleting your Facebook account).
I've never sought to hide my personality in interviews or from teammates, I'm very much a "hate him or love him" type. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what got me dinged in my interviews at more left-leaning firms up until I came across my current role and just jived with the GP and MD perfectly. To be fair though, it helps that it's a smaller team with high AUM per head and 0 HR people to put up with.
Did you do IB prior?
No, hybrid M&A/investment role covering similar sectors
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