Jealous Family Members
Sometimes at family get togethers, I can’t help but notice the comments some make towards me and my siblings. They seem jealous and overall don’t get a good vibe from some of them. I’m not even working full time yet, and who gets jealous of a CRE intern, all it means is I couldn’t break into banking lmao. Seriously though, none of my cousins have gone to college, work 2 or 3 jobs to support their families. It’s not like I look down on them, or rub my “success” in their face, neither do my siblings (who are in med school). Kinda venting a bit here, but it sucks when your “family” talks shit about you and your parents behind your back. How does one deal with this?
Well what exactly are they saying?
Don't care too much about if other likes you. Most people don't even like themselves lmfao. fuk that get money
Backhanded comments about what I do/want to do. They tell me I’m not happy with who I am and where I come from and that’s why I want to leave. Make jabs at my parents for wanting us (my brothers and I) to succeed.
You’re right, I often ignore them. Frankly, they are right, I do want more out of my life. It just gets on my nerves, you know what I mean?
All projections lol. For people, espcially fam, to say that to you just means they don't like where they're at themselves. Or they just had a really bad day.... or you're projecting your success on them, which if you are you should stop too.
IMO, people have that tendency to prevent others climbing up the socio economic ladder (especially those who came from the same level). I assume your parents and the parents of your cousins is in this case ? Think about it, when youre poor it feels easier to just blame your condition to society, but when another poor people get rich, they cant blame their condition to society anymore (because look, someone poor CAN be rich by working hard). How to deal with them effectively depends on your situation. If i were you i would try to bring it out in the open, tell them what i feel antagonized for wanting a better life. If that doesnt work cutting them out of your life is always an option.
Might want to enjoy this a little bit — will take a long time to feel like a BSD anywhere else
Good way of looking at it haha.
I personally think you have to love immediate family and be there for them regardless of what happens to you or them in life (within reason, obviously; if one of them kills someone, I'm not going to have their back). With that being said, if I had a member of my extended family treating me similarly, I wouldn't take any action or say anything to them, but I definitely would cross them off the list of people I'll always support.
Not sure about your family, but I see my extended family probably once every 1 to 1.5 months (pre COVID). If the odd time I saw them they decided to spend that time taking jabs at me/trying to tear me down, then I wouldn't really bother/care to put much effort into a relationship with them, regardless of how long I've known them or any blood relations we may share.
I do plan on helping my immediate family out. Planning on helping my parents out when I can. If I get to a point where I can afford to help out my extended family, I will. Maybe not giving them monthly stipends but helping out with weddings, nice gifts during the holidays, etc...
I have family like this. We don't really see each other anymore and the holidays feel a lot better now.
I've experienced the same thing with families who are "poorer" than mine (I'm not even rich by high finance standards, just upper middle class). They project their insecurity and end up lashing out. It's really annoying because you don't have to show off or anything for them to get offended and start to try to tear you down. I really don't know if there's any solution to this other than ignoring them and associating with people who aren't insecure. People like what you're describing with your cousins are toxic and I'd recommend distancing yourself if possible even though they're family.
Been in this exact situation. Distance yourself. Misery loves company, if they're resentful of you, they will try and sabotage you so that you return back to their level.
"How dare Leo have it better than me? He's forgot where he's came from. I'll show him!"
Literally cut them off if they provide no value to your life. Some people are investments, others are bills. Treat them accordingly.
Appreciate the response. It sucks they are like this, everything was fine before we moved out of our little town. I don’t think I’m going to cut them off completely, but will distance myself.
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