Long-time crush going to prom w/ another guy. Both are going to my college...please help

I'm going to a target, I've always been a top tier student, and relationships have never been a priority in my life. But there has always been this one girl that I've had a big thing for, and for some reason I just never asked her out. Like I'm talking north of 4 years. She was typical crush material + smart, and that's something I have always valued for it's pure scarcity. Not sure why I never asked her out, it never felt right, and I was waiting for the right time. She's a bright kid, and she legitimately got into the same school as me. I was planning on shooting my shot in the Fall. Turns out that ship has sailed, and I was too late. Then I find out that this other guy is going out with her, and is going to prom with her. Total nutjob kid who got into the same school as me because of some legacies. 

I'm sure a lot of you can imagine how I feel. Anger, being upset, disappointed, and everything in between. Deep down, I know that nutjob kid has nothing on me, and this alone only adds fuel to the fire to dominate in undergrad and recruiting. Just looking for some advice and words of wisdom. Appreciate it. My first job starts on Monday, and it's in MM PE, and I'm praying this is out of my head by then. Thanks guys. 

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Comments (74)

Most Helpful
Jun 14, 2021 - 11:18pm

Man I wish I could still give a shit about girls the way I did in high school. Once you go to college you'll realize how many attractive women there are out there. You're gonna look back and realize just how truly mediocre your past crushes have been. Or you can shoot your shot and stop living with regrets. Just bc there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. 

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

  • 39
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  • Intern in PE - Growth
Jun 14, 2021 - 11:35pm

Goya Beans

Just bc there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. 

Wow, thanks. That is an incredibly powerful line, really stuck with me. It genuinely put a smile on my face dude. Thanks again!

  • Analyst 2 in IB - Ind
Jun 15, 2021 - 10:28am

EX's from High School and College (All female)

- HR

- HR Recruiter 

- Supply Chain Management 

- Freelance Marketer 

- Nurse

Crush's That Didn't convert (All female)

- HR

-Social work

-Med School  (only one I wish I shot more shots)

Long story short most girls/guys you date will end up doing boring things and just be run of the mill everyday people. You'll be fine there will be plenty of more interesting people out there.  Believe it or not, if you work hard and do well for yourself alot of people will find that highly attractive.  

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Jun 15, 2021 - 12:10am

In addition to the great advice given above, just remember that things will progressively get less significant over your life. 
 

I'll share some of my story- I had the same GF from late 8th grade through mid senior year. It was a long time, we broke up (ironically right before prom- I never went to senior year prom). I was pretty devastated at the time. Cried a bunch, mope around campus, grades slipped a bunch. We ended up going to the same college actually. 
 

Fast forward.. damn 7 years already since I graduated HS (I'm 25). I found an amazing woman in college, we're happily married for over a year now (I know I got married young, no ragrets). My HS ex girlfriend ended up dropping out, I think she ran into trouble running with the wrong crowd. She was very bright, could've done a lot more. My wife is very ambitious, she's a full stack software engineer at a Series C YCombinator backed startup, absolutely gorgeous, funny as hell, truly one of my best friends. Couldn't have pictured my life being this way. 
 

If I time traveled to my 18 year old self I'd never believe it. I could never love again, life stopped, all that jazz. Time goes on and things get better. Does that mean don't shoot your shot? Fuck no. You need to shoot your shot. What do you have to lose? You'll never catch a fish with no fishing rod. If you don't score, okay. You'll find someone else. Don't settle, but don't be closed minded. You'll be alright either way. 

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
  • 5
Jun 15, 2021 - 1:48pm

Olefins

Hold up since when do high schoolers work at MM PE??

Yeah this story is very conflicted - he says he's at a target (college), but also talks about prom (HS) and also is going to MM PE (college graduate).

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Jun 15, 2021 - 12:50am

This makes me feel better about going to a non-target (but I broke into BB so all good). My high school crush agreed to go to prom with me and then backed out last second. I asked her again my senior year, and then she agreed and then backed out. It was rough at the time, but I've fucked like ~25 girls in the past three years, the majority of which have been way hotter. She is now engaged to a truck driver in Arkansas who probably makes $40-50k a year. Girls in high school and crushes don't mean shit, I do not think about her at all unless her instagram pic shows up in my feed for some reason. Never settle, especially as a younger guy. You're going to a target school, hopefully you'll crush it career wise, your value is going up, her value is going down. It's going to be 2033 and you'll see a picture of her on Instagram and you're going to think to herself, damn, what an ugly hag, how did she put on 45 pounds and age like milk, and be glad things worked out they way that they did. 

Jun 15, 2021 - 9:22am

It was rough at the time, but I've fucked like ~25 girls in the past three years

Save some for the rest of us bud!!!

  • 1
  • Intern in PE - Growth
Jun 15, 2021 - 3:58pm

I'm on the investment team/side, not HR/operational. Demonstrate you know your stuff like the back of your hand and reach out to people who would actually give you a shot

Jun 15, 2021 - 7:36am

living well is the best revenge. become the best version of yourself and a couple things could happen: she wants you or a better girl wants you.

but one thing is for certain, you will have enough self confidence that you won't give one iota of a fuck.

we've all been there, my high school batting average was exactly .000, keep your head up, you're gonna go far kid

Jun 15, 2021 - 8:51am

throwawayaccounttookbigL

I'm going to a target, I've always been a top tier student, and relationships have never been a priority in my life. But there has always been this one girl that I've had a big thing for, and for some reason I just never asked her out. Like I'm talking north of 4 years. She was typical crush material + smart, and that's something I have always valued for it's pure scarcity. Not sure why I never asked her out, it never felt right, and I was waiting for the right time. She's a bright kid, and she legitimately got into the same school as me. I was planning on shooting my shot in the Fall. Turns out that ship has sailed, and I was too late. Then I find out that this other guy is going out with her, and is going to prom with her. Total nutjob kid who got into the same school as me because of some legacies. 

I'm sure a lot of you can imagine how I feel. Anger, being upset, disappointed, and everything in between. Deep down, I know that nutjob kid has nothing on me, and this alone only adds fuel to the fire to dominate in undergrad and recruiting. Just looking for some advice and words of wisdom. Appreciate it. My first job starts on Monday, and it's in MM PE, and I'm praying this is out of my head by then. Thanks guys. 

Never Happened.

Array

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jun 16, 2021 - 10:17pm

I'm a incoming freshman at a target and someone my class has already had 2 IB/PE internships and another started his own hedge fund. Everything is earlier now lol

  • Intern in IB - Restr
Jun 17, 2021 - 12:06pm

i promise you that is not necessary lol what the fuck are these kids doing

Jun 15, 2021 - 3:05pm

Take it as a lesson. Next time you like a girl, don't wait for someone else to take her. Ask her out, at least you have no regrets.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 15, 2021 - 4:24pm

Everything about this post just screams fiction lmao. Whatever you are--student, already employed, or HS as you say you are--you would do well writing billionaire romance fanfics. Look into it

Jun 15, 2021 - 5:58pm

Don't date a girl from your HS in undergrad, that's boring as fuck.

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  • 1
Jun 15, 2021 - 6:57pm

I think so too. But for some, it works. I know a couple that has been together since 7th grade (went long distance for three years) and they are planning to get married when we graduate next year. I could never do it but on the other hand, why ruin a good thing? 

Jun 15, 2021 - 6:02pm

Didn't read through the thread, I'm sure you got some decent advice. But college will be so much better for you. Much like you, I had a crush on only one girl in HS, she was neither all that attractive (she was at the time lol) nor that smart but I still had a big thing for her. Never asked her out and because it didn't feel right. Anyway, she goes through a couple of boys while I'm still waiting to shoot my shot and she ends up going out with one of my good friends. They go to the same school as me and are still together almost 4 years later. At the time I was pretty upset and heartbroken but I'm happy for them now and realize me and her probably weren't a match. Next time don't wait so long.

Jun 15, 2021 - 7:43pm

Maintain a friendship with her and explore other options in the meantime. If this guy is as mediocre as you say and she is as smart as you claim, she'll figure it out on her own. If you're still interested in her at that point, shoot your shot. Otherwise count it as a blessing in disguise that you were never meant to be. Good luck:)

Jun 16, 2021 - 10:53am

Assuming this is real...

Dude.  Stop.  Now.

Life is much more than a piece of tail.  Life is much more than worrying about two people who you will not give two craps about in 10 years.

Grab a beer.  Breathe.  Get off the internet  and go for walk.

Stop stressing over things that do not matter.  Stop worrying about Proms.  Stop being THAT guy who worries about every last thing.

Life is too short to worry about this inane crap.

Namaste.

D.O.U.G.

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jun 16, 2021 - 12:18pm

Had the same experience in HS but as a girl. 4 years later the dude had a major glow down. What I'm saying is stop worrying about others, focus on yourself and be the best that you can be. Better things will come along the way.

Jun 16, 2021 - 8:46pm

switch to a non-target so you can fuck some actual hot girls who don't just lay there like every other girl from Connecticut (my experience with target school girls isn't the best).

non target girls are definitely not the wife type either so you'll learn how to not catch feelings and build yourself a roster at your disposal. its supply and demand baby, not only will you stop simping you'll make the girls put in the work for you. plus the chip on your shoulder/networking grind will teach you how to go after what you want (Rather than have it given to you).

so go transfer to Syracuse or something and you'll basically just become an alpha in every aspect of life.

Jun 17, 2021 - 10:20am

There is a 90%+ chance you, her, and the other guy will all meet new people you like more once you get to college.  You will probably not even think about her much after a couple weeks into freshman year.  Just stay try to stay friends with her (without being clingy) and maybe it will still work out eventually, but like I said you'll probably meet new people you'd rather pursue anyway.

Array
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 17, 2021 - 5:36pm

posts about struggling w women, has to mention target school and MMPE

I'm glad I wasn't smart enough to get into a target school Bc some of you are too much sometimes hahaha

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