Comments (85)

 
Nov 10, 2018 - 10:47am

In the office kitchen: saw a guy butter his bread; wipe the knife using his bread; then proceed to use the same knife to spread his strawberry jam.

This is why I support more regulation.

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.
 
Nov 13, 2018 - 6:45am

I know the comments above are jokes, but it's funny that most people's first reaction to this post is basically locking all of their desk drawers and deleting files

Array
 
Nov 13, 2018 - 12:57pm

I saw my someone eat pizza with ketchup once. Had to report.

Cash and cash equivalents: $138,311 Financial instruments and other inventory positions owned: $448,166
 
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Nov 13, 2018 - 2:46pm

i sat next to and worked with Primary Dealer traders who colluded with traders at competing banks (but who were personal friends) exchanging confidential client bid info for US Treasury bond auctions (among other things) in an effort to game the auctions and maximize their personal trading profits (this was before all of the libor/gold/fx chat room scandals had become public knowledge).

A few years later (2016 i think) i saw a story in the WSJ about an investigation into the scandal of US traders at Primary Dealers sharing confidential info about client bids in an attempt to collude and fix US Treasury bond auctions...and crossed my fingers that i would never get a phone call from the FBI. Soon after the WSJ story, i got a call from 2 of those involved in the scandal asking to meet up for drinks...but then drinks got canceled and i never heard anything about it ever again.

just google it...you're welcome
 
Nov 13, 2018 - 5:41pm

Was at a post-superday roundtable where we had to choose 5 SA's out of a pool of like 15 that we all interviewed that day. After 4 clear winners, we're down to a debate over the 5th slot. We take a vote, and this one guy has most of the votes to take it. However, the runner-up is female and the only MD in the crowd says we're going to pick her instead because firm management has been bugging the MD's to hire more girls.

Not sure if it was illegal but definitely unethical especially with the girl not even being attractive.

 
Nov 15, 2018 - 5:09am

We were hiring 3rd year analysts and it came down to two candidates that were pretty close, the Director running the process said we are hiring the girl because we needed to increase the number of women in the team (and bank wide). Fully against the official rules (can't discriminate based upon gender, creed, minority status, etc), but what are you going to do? Side note, she was a really great hire.

 
Mar 27, 2019 - 9:53am

traderlife:

Everyone does that. It’s also why a girl can get into Harvard Stanford and tbe identical quality guys best offer might be northwestern.

Having a pussy a huge leg up at getting your foot into the door.

Women have to work twice as hard to be taken half as serious compared to men.

Array
 
Nov 13, 2018 - 7:04pm

I started my career in WM for the employees of some big institutional clients. A lot of it was protecting them from themselves. I saw a lot of scumbag FAs prey on the financially illiterate.

The worst I ever saw was when some scumbag Primerica FA convinced a school teacher six months from retirement to cash in her pension (at an 8% discount rate!) for cash so she could buy a variable annuity from him. Of course this was in late 2008, and he had her put the money in a stock fund for the six months between cashing out and when she could access the cash.

We'd tried to tell her that this might not be a good idea, but she wouldn't listen until the Sh!t hit the fan. the recording of her sobbing was heart wrenching, but she'd brought it on herself. I didn't track her file, but that decision probably pushed back her retirement by five years.

I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 
Nov 18, 2018 - 6:55pm

Ivan Boesky:

" Judo originated in Israel."

Judo originated in 19th century Japan and means ‘gentle way.’

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

 
Nov 14, 2018 - 5:21am

The bank I interned with a couple years ago had full-time Summers unpaid...needless to say it was 10 weeks of 84 hours a week on average for no pay haha. It was an awesome experience, but let's just say I stretched that $25 dinner allowance for breakfast and lunch the next day loooool.

 
Nov 15, 2018 - 11:49am

a Pharma bro that i knew took the price of daraprim from $13.50 per pill to $750 per pill. Same guy increased the price of EpiPen by 500% to $600 for a two pack. He also bought the Wu-Tang clan's album and took it private. Guy ended up going to jail for securities fraud.

thots & prayers
 
Nov 16, 2018 - 8:50am

I had an internship and I spent all 4 months eating off the one-day meal card. I complimented the nice gay dude's glasses frames and he let it slide. Didn't get a proper night's sleep all four months.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
 
Nov 17, 2018 - 1:48am

I interned in ER a couple years ago. The analyst was releasing a report on a company the next day, for which he recently changed the recommendation from strong buy to hold the previous quarter. Next thing you know the CFO of that company calls the analyst and gives him insider information. Next day, the recommendation was switched back to a strong buy.

 
Nov 24, 2018 - 11:23am

Not illegal but sketchy but we used to be told not to write anything down and if you put notes in notebook to throw it in the shredder box after you’re almost full and also after revisions put all prior drafts into the shredder. There were also plenty of times we knew things were sketchy (not illegal) and just knew not to talk about it or put it in email

 
Nov 24, 2018 - 2:00pm

I don’t know why they call it “hostile work environment” when near every place of work has varying levels of hazing that leaves employees in poor physical or emotional health... I think that is pretty unethical!

 
Nov 24, 2018 - 2:14pm

Here goes nothing hahaha:

I was interning at a BB and a couple VPs took me under their wing since I was a sophomore and they thought I had the potential to be a big shot options trader one day. They took me out for a “night on the town” and we saw some pretty wild stuff

It started off chill but we ended up at a high-class underground strip club and we all fucked this stripper but it was dark and you couldn’t really see her that well. Turns out it was one of the associates on the CMBS trading desk - she had racked up 20k credit card debt and had to pay it down somehow.

It was all good though. I saw her the following Monday and we grabbed coffee. I got her number and and now she’s one of my side pieces. She ended up coming clean with her parents and they helped her pay down the debt. Wall Street is crazy bro haha

Fuckin my way thru nyc one chick at a time
 
Nov 27, 2018 - 3:43pm

On my first consulting engagement, the sketchball firm I was working for put too many of us on a project to maximize billings but never officially told our client I had joined in an effort to conceal their overbilling. I couldn't get a building badge or parking access for 2 months because the client didn't know I existed because I wasn't in any of their systems lol

 
Nov 29, 2018 - 11:33am

on the job? not in my office but at my firm - woman advisor (who was a MD, btw) was cheating on her husband with a billionaire client (who was also married to someone else), ended up churning her account (making lots of trades over what's necessary to generate excessive commissions), taking money from him to fund her lifestyle, and kept all of this up until the client died and the kids started reading the statements and looking at historical activity. BUSTED. had all kinds of awards rescinded, lawsuits, etc., long story short she'll never be in PWM again

 
Nov 30, 2018 - 12:25am

thebrofessor:

on the job? not in my office but at my firm - woman advisor (who was a MD, btw) was cheating on her husband with a billionaire client

Dude, we have worked for the same firm. LOL :)

Way back when the trees were still green, at a different firm, a senior rates trader (call him Jim) brought a girl to the office for some old fashioned entertainment. Not sure why, my guess is for kicks. Apparently, two weeks prior security cameras were installed on the trading floor, security got involved and HR wanted fire the dude. Rumor has it that the head of FICC, after watching the VCR tape, said "that's not him - Jim made 30 million for us this year, I am sure I'd recognize him". Back then 30 million PnL was real money, you know.

I have a friend who lives in the country, and it's supposed to be an hour from 42nd Street. A lie! The only thing that's an hour from 42nd Street is 43rd Street!
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