Please Destroy My resume, I'm begging you.

Guys, I am trying as hard as I can to break into I-Banking or a hedge fund and I am having much difficulty. If anyone can look at my resume and give me suggestions I would be very grateful. I am so close to giving up but I am not going to stop until I get hired.

My experience at the investment bank was as a stockbroker trainee. It was a boutique investment bank that specialized in bio-tech companies. I tried to spin it as best as I could. If you guys could spin it better for me I would be indebted forever.

P.S. The personal portfolio manager is my own portfolio that I manage. I'm not sure what to put for the company name on the resume, should it just be self

Thanks for all the help, I really appreciate it.

Attachment Size
my resume.pdf 91.81 KB 91.81 KB
 
BanditPandit:
crucifix.:

you have no shot haha aim for ops or sth like that LOL!

why did he get shit on? he's speaking the truth...which apparently hurts too much

Because it wasn't constructive in any way, and the poster came across as a condescending jerk. He has no way of knowing what this kid will be able to do in the future. His resume needs some improvement, but instead of belittling his dreams, encouragement should have been offered. It's not like the kid being condescending is God's gift to finance...
 

You should be more detailed about what you did in your ibanking experience. What kind of due diligence did you do? What was the result of your value creation?

Also, how do you justify interning in ibanking in 09 but become an office assistant in 10, then no more internships up until now other than "personal portfolio manager"? Shouldn't you try to intern at ibanks from 2010-now (or at least related) if that's your end goal?

 

Investment banking or hedge fund, hmmm? You do realize that those are two completely different things, right? With that said, however, the GPA is unfortunately a little too low for most investment banking firms (at least bulge brackets and top boutiques), so your best bet would be to target regional/middle market boutiques. Good luck.

If you are not 100% set on investment banking, I could get you in touch with an alum (Binghamton) I know pretty well at a decent firm (they are ranked very high globally, but on Wall Street their presence is much smaller), however, that would probably be more of a credit-related position.

 
Deo et Patriae:

Investment banking or hedge fund, hmmm? You do realize that those are two completely different things, right? With that said, however, the GPA is unfortunately a little too low for most investment banking firms (at least bulge brackets and top boutiques), so your best bet would be to target regional/middle market boutiques. Good luck.

If you are not 100% set on investment banking, I could get you in touch with an alum (Binghamton) I know pretty well at a decent firm (they are ranked very high globally, but on Wall Street their presence is much smaller), however, that would probably be more of a credit-related position.

Hey, Thank you for the kind words. I would private message you but I don't have enough banana points yet. I would very much appreciate if you could get me in touch with some Binghamton alumni, I would be very grateful.

 
FutureBanker09:

Wow, it's gonna be super, super tough. I'd advise you to sign up for CFA Level 1 in December, and then start applying for a F500 FLDP such as GE or Cap One. Be a rockstar here, crush the GMAT, then get into a T14 B school, and then move to Banking. I honestly think that's your best shot. Best of luck!

Thanks for the advice. I will take that into consideration. If you have any advice for my resume that would also be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

Use your Russian language skills! Specialize in Russian/Eastern European small caps for example. I wouldn't give a flying fuck about your shitty school/shitty GPA, as long as you come out as a smart guy willing to bust some balls.

 
Eurodealer:

Use your Russian language skills! Specialize in Russian/Eastern European small caps for example. I wouldn't give a flying fuck about your shitty school/shitty GPA, as long as you come out as a smart guy willing to bust some balls.

Thanks for the great advice. I looked up some jobs with they keyword russian, and I did find some decent positions. Could you maybe elaborate a little more on what would be some good firms or specialties, or if you have any advice for my resume I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much man.

 

Sorry to break it to you but I've found that being real and truthful really works. You have next to 0 chances of breaking in, unless you target the randomest of boutiques around your neighborhood and work for free.

[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 
animalz:

why do people use these thread titles?

am i the only one who see something sexual in it?

There's some seriously weird kids on here looking to get "help" on their "resumes." For christ's sake, if the difference between your thread title and a porno is the word "resume" instead of XYZ bodily orific, you're doing it wrong.

I keep expecting to see resume threads with titles like: "pound my filthy CV," "Cover my resume with a load of advice," etc.

All we need to do is show a little class, a little sophistication, and we’re in like a dirty shirt.
 
Best Response

OP some constructive feedback would be to eliminate everything you currently have under your Skills section as none of those should really be there.

Under interests you could keep more or less what you have but I would remove the part about being "Greek God" or whatever as it isn't going to win you any points. Chess and poker are fine to have on there, as is your interest in travel.

GPA is what it is but unfortunately it isn't going to help you at all. If you have a higher major GPA, list that as well. Your SAT score isn't phenomenal so I would remove it.

Your position as a Portfolio Manager is unfortunately all hypothetical as anyone could cite returns for stocks that had a positive run during the times you held them.

Your Office Assistant position is not relevant experience so you should remove it.

At the boutique investment bank did you really interview clients to determine investment objectives and product suitability? It's a bit misleading to say that you gave advice on investment objectives and the suitability of products if you aren't licensed. Even if it isn't unlawful, it's a bit of a stretch for you to present that as if it was a focal component of your job given that you likely do not have series licenses.

You provided leads using social media? Anyone reading this (myself included) is going to assume that you pulled lists of clients off of Facebook for financial advisors to cold call. The last two bullet points on under this position are the only ones that are mildly relevant and they are ones for which very little detail is provided. You need to have more quantitative explanation to your tasks and try to gear your resume towards front office type roles.

You should sign up for the CFA, try to find some type of internship where you are at least using excel and dealing with numbers, and try to think about a MSF type program in order to rebrand you.

Realistically, it is going to be very difficult for you to be competitive for back office type positions with your resume in its current state. The good news is that these items are fairly actionable. Right now, things look bleak, but if you are motivated and really want to do this, you can focus your efforts on studying hard for the GRE / GMAT, and if you do well, then you should be in a position where some decent MSF programs are feasible. From there, you need to get a 3.7+ GPA to alleviate concerns around your undergrad GPA, plus if your GMAT score is above 700 you can put that on there.

This isn't a complete lost cause, you are just going to have to work very hard and it might be more like a 3-5 year goal of getting to a front office type role as opposed to moving over right away. It's really going to come down to your attitude and how hard you are willing to work. These people just like to be negative because it makes them feel better about themselves, but you can get to where you want to be if you are willing to work your ass off and if you ignore what they say. It just won't be easy.

Hope that helps.

 
rufiolove:

OP some constructive feedback would be to eliminate everything you currently have under your Skills section as none of those should really be there.

Under interests you could keep more or less what you have but I would remove the part about being "Greek God" or whatever as it isn't going to win you any points. Chess and poker are fine to have on there, as is your interest in travel.

GPA is what it is but unfortunately it isn't going to help you at all. If you have a higher major GPA, list that as well. Your SAT score isn't phenomenal so I would remove it.

Your position as a Portfolio Manager is unfortunately all hypothetical as anyone could cite returns for stocks that had a positive run during the times you held them.

Your Office Assistant position is not relevant experience so you should remove it.

At the boutique investment bank did you really interview clients to determine investment objectives and product suitability? It's a bit misleading to say that you gave advice on investment objectives and the suitability of products if you aren't licensed. Even if it isn't unlawful, it's a bit of a stretch for you to present that as if it was a focal component of your job given that you likely do not have series licenses.

You provided leads using social media? Anyone reading this (myself included) is going to assume that you pulled lists of clients off of Facebook for financial advisors to cold call. The last two bullet points on under this position are the only ones that are mildly relevant and they are ones for which very little detail is provided. You need to have more quantitative explanation to your tasks and try to gear your resume towards front office type roles.

You should sign up for the CFA, try to find some type of internship where you are at least using excel and dealing with numbers, and try to think about a MSF type program in order to rebrand you.

Realistically, it is going to be very difficult for you to be competitive for back office type positions with your resume in its current state. The good news is that these items are fairly actionable. Right now, things look bleak, but if you are motivated and really want to do this, you can focus your efforts on studying hard for the GRE / GMAT, and if you do well, then you should be in a position where some decent MSF programs are feasible. From there, you need to get a 3.7+ GPA to alleviate concerns around your undergrad GPA, plus if your GMAT score is above 700 you can put that on there.

This isn't a complete lost cause, you are just going to have to work very hard and it might be more like a 3-5 year goal of getting to a front office type role as opposed to moving over right away. It's really going to come down to your attitude and how hard you are willing to work. These people just like to be negative because it makes them feel better about themselves, but you can get to where you want to be if you are willing to work your ass off and if you ignore what they say. It just won't be easy.

Hope that helps.

Thank you Rufio, you obviously get it, so I am going to listen to you. Just a couple of questions if you don't mind.

The reason I have greek god under interests is that it is a good topic for me to talk about at interviews. I had to micro manage my whole fraternity to get shit done for me, so I talk about it as a good leadership experience. If you still think I should remove it I will.

My personal portfolio account is a legitimate (virtual) account that I can back up with proof. But if you say to remove it I will.

If I delete both my personal portfolio and office assistant, I will only have one work experience listed, what can I put instead?

At the investment bank I was doing a couple of things. My job was to qualify leads. I would cold call people, see how much money they have in the market, how many brokers they have, what they are looking for, etc. Also it was my job to go through lists of names and leads and find more contact information about them. Also to find leads on my own using any means necessary. I didn't use facebook, more like going through listings of people selling boats and houses. Just unconventional methods of finding rich people to pitch to. The leads I pulled were really good and led to a really high closing rate, I just don't know how to word that.

I want to take the GMAT but I always thought you need to have work experience to get into a good business school. I'm ready to work as hard as it takes. I know that is what will separate me from the rest. Thank you for all the help. You are the man.

 

A legitimate virtual portfolio. That shit sounds alpha as fuck. You should definitely discuss this at your virtual interview for that virtual IBD role.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
 

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[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 

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