Stay in banking or quit banking?
Prison or freedom?
Career or family?
Disquiet or peace?
Not being me or being me?
The problem is NOT finding the right answers to these questions.
The problem is that you’re constantly asking these questions.
You are at war with yourself.
To be more precise, one expression of yourself is fighting another expression of yourself.
Because, by proof of contradiction, if you’re asking these questions it means that you have two selves.
The banking self and the non-banking self.
Otherwise, choosing between the two wouldn’t be a constant struggle, would it?
It’s not about being you or not being you—you are both banking and not banking!
To be more precise, the question is not [Banking VS Not Banking].
The question is [What your Banking Self wants VS What your Non-Banking Self wants].
You’re struggling because you haven’t transformed the problem to a different space where you can see the intersection of the two selves more clearly.
But you must give voice and honour both selves.
A neurolinguistic programming exercise I often do with people:
- Sit comfortably in your chair and embody your IB self. What does your IB self really want? Let him/her speak to the non-IB self. Once you're done, shake that self out, stretch, move around, and take a couple of deep breaths.
- Move your chair to a different place and embody your non-IB self. What does your non-IB self really want? Let him/her speak to the IB self. Once you're done shake that self out again.
- Go into what I call a meta position, ie. an observer position. Is there something that both selves agree on? What do both want for you? Explore both selves from that neutral and unattached position.
- What is an agreement that would make both selves happy?
- Continue the conversation between the two selves until an agreement is reached.
In the end, you'll find that...
You may quit banking and feel fulfilled.
Life has so much to offer.
Having made it in IB shows that you have all it takes to have success in any other profession.
You are a go-getter. You don't lack motivation. You are goal-oriented.
You can build your own business, you can break into a totally different industry, God, you can do ANYTHING. If not you, who???
Or ... you may stay in banking and still feel fulfilled.
Maybe all you need is:
- a change in your lifestyle
- more time for recreation
- a relationship
- the ability to set boundaries and say no
- to build a new skill
- to become a more effective communicator
- more empowering beliefs
- a new role
- a new team
- a mentor
- to have a conversation with your boss
In any case, the deepest and most enlightening insights will emerge once you've embraced both your IB and the non-IB self and invited them to a conversation with curiosity and wonder.
Loving you, Angelos
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Unorthodox for sure, but I don’t think it’s terrible advice. Makes sense to me tbh.
Good post but you’re asking the wrong question. Bull or bear? That is the question. Namaste.
Lol Good one!! I'm not into that any more. I used to... and it's certainly fun! I'm now focused more on adding value to the world while Vanguard and time are doing the work for me. At the same time, I have a deep respect for the active folks who give things the right price so I can reap the long-term passive rewards. :)
.
You have completely missed the joke so hard. Sorry pal.
BEARS SHOULD FUCKING DIE
DIAMOND HANDS - TO THE MOON!
Dammit beat me to it🤣🥴 Don’t forget your yoga mat 🧘♀️
This is one of the best and most useful posts I’ve seen on WSO...
Glad you found it useful. 👍
Great post and I actually found myself doing a similar exercise a few days ago when I was thinking about my future in banking. I've definitely been struggling with the hours and WFH is making it a lot harder to learn everything I need to know. That being said, I've searched for other job opportunities and honestly think grinding out my two years is the best option for me right now. I know for a fact that if I stay in my group, I definitely won't be able to last two years as everyone is too busy to provide guidance or even pretend like they're there to help you grow. I've decided to try lateralling into a different group at the same bank, and hopefully that team will be more supportive and encouraging than the one I'm currently in.
Exactly! It's crazy but in the same bank you can find a team that looks like the coolest Silicon Valley start-up and you can also find the most dysfunctional team in the world. It may be that you're in the wrong spot. Look around. Connect. Connect. Connect. Reach out to people, schedule 5 or 10min chats with people in other teams. Find a mentor. And most importantly, don't take things personally. Some of the people you mentioned want to help but they are dealing with their own shit, others who are not supporting analysts (or treat them badly) are short-sighted and lack political intelligence... Because if they were clever, they would help analysts grow and create life-long allies... Anyway, that's a big topic for a different thread!
Pretty sure the question is bull or bear? but ok
Lol i bet you got bullied in high school
Spoken like a dude who got bullied in high school lol you must be feeling real big on this forum slinging those edgy comments on shitposts
I appreciate that you’re aiming to give people the tools to choose for themselves. Most posts I’ve seen on this topic have been strongly geared towards one side or the other based on the commenters’ experiences, so it’s refreshing to see someone say, “take a moment and consider what it is you really want.”
Precisely!!! And you may have a strong emotional reaction one day but that means nothing when it comes to what you really want to do—let alone someone else's strong emotional reaction and what they decided to do for themselves.
Thanks, Uncle Iroh!
Seriously, have none of you watched Avatar??
I gotchu man
Incredible post. Thank you!
Thank you. I'm glad you found it useful 👍
Didn't feel like reading that but congrats or I'm sorry, whichever fits.
this is such wholesome and useful content and yet some of you are edgyposting smh
Thanks for your kind words, Tom.
all good man...feel like mental awareness is such an underrated aspect in this industry - obv everyone tries to be a hardo boi but we're only human at the end of the day
This really hits home.
‘Saying no and standing up for yourself’
‘Speaking with boss’
Change is healthy
Hi Wendy Rhoades
Looking at family history helps.
Were my great grandparents, grandparents, or parents bankers? Is that why I got into it?
Was my entire social set (friend group, classmates) all aiming to work in finance? Is that why I got into it?
Answers to simple questions (like the ones above) helps to reveal the motivations.
Absolutely!!! I've worked with senior bankers who are still trying to prove themselves to their parents for example. And I totally understand them and I feel compassion for them. Because most of them were either neglected or given too much attention by their parents in their childhood. In order to receive the same love when the child entered the real world, they had to strive and overachieve. No accomplishment is ever enough. Behind the money, the job title, the prestige, there is often hidden a constant feeling of not being good enough. Life becomes easier and more rewarding when this pattern comes to conscious awareness. And again that could be a stay or a quit decision. Every Banker has the capacity to create the life of their dreams whether they decide to stay or quit. At least This is what I choose to believe.
After all this time, turns out that we needed to do some soul searching before making such decisions.
Absolutely. I agree! This time is a good time for reflection. What do I want to create in my life? Who do I want to be? What is my vision? Who is in the drivers seat? Etc. And that's true for both junior and senior bankers. I've seen many senior bankers reexamine their lives during this pandemic.
Is this the new Linkedin
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